24 UPDATE from Blogs4Bauer

Great summary from http://blogs4bauer.blogspot.com/

9:00:00 to 9:09:58

To borrow a line from the endless promos during Prison Break, there are moments in every TV season that networks won't shut up about. So, how long will it take Jack to go Jackson Brown on S4GF?As the 9 o'clock hour opens, CTU is not under siege by the walking dead, unless you count Frau Blucher. Chiggy Killer orders Chloe to look into S4GF's background to see if there is anything that might validate Heidi Fleiss's allegation (last week) that S4GF has gone Joe Wilson and is selling out the country to terrorists. Then, Chiggy takes S4GF into custody and orders her prepped for interrogation. S4GF watches in terror as the Comfy Chair is rolled into the interrogation room. Chiggy Killer tries to talk Frau Blucher out of using the Comfy Chair, but HLS Dick can hardly wait to get started. Jack is also opposed to using the Comfy Chair on S4GF. Frau Blucher, however can't wait to get started and bitch-slaps Jack by bringing up Nina Meyers. She agrees to let Jack "talk" to S4GF, but reserves the right to jerk him out of the interrogation and go Medieval on Audrey's ass. She then turns her attention back to seeing if there's anything about the situation FEMA can screw up. Across town, a Police car pulls up on two men having a brawl in an alley. To absolutely no one's surprise, this turns out to be a trap. The terrorists staged a fight so they could commandeer a cop car. Raise your hand if you didn't see that coming as soon as the cop car pulled up. Anyone? OK, good. The cops are shot and the terrorists have a curfew-proof vehicle. Back at CTU, Jack says to Chloe, he says, "Chloe, walk with me," Jack asks Chloe what's up with S4GF. Remember Sid Blumenthal? Apparently, Chloe found out that S4GF and Sid Blumenthal once checked into a hotel in Maryland together and did the nasty. Note: Chloe has managed to track this down, email photos to the hotel manager, get a response, and confirm receipts in under nine minutes. She also has an affadavit from the maid stating she found a used condom (small) in the trash the next morning. Apparently, Jack's ability to fold space-time is rubbing off on her. Anyway, the dots are connecting... S4GF to Sid Blumenthal to Biff Henderson to Kevin Bacon to the terrorists. It's not looking good for S4GF. Which, of course, can only mean she's innocent.

9:14:03 to 9:22:45

Back from commercial break, we meet the hot chick who will be replacing Truffle Shuffle. For reasons that shall be made clear later, her TivoBlog nickname will be 'Anita Hill.' Apparently, she'll be working under Chloe. (Giggity! Giggity!) HLS Dick reacts to her presence foreshadowingly. In the interrogation room, Jack begins to work on S4GF S4GF admits to having met Sid Blumenthal, but "only at a couple DOD briefings... where I drank a lot of iced tea... so I was out of the room a lot." "So, you only met him then? At DOD Briefings?" Jack asks her. "Yes," she tells him. "Oh, really," Jack says, sliding the envelope across the table. "Then, explain this... WHORE!" S4GF looks over the hotel receipts. "Oh, yeah, Jack, I slept with him when I thought you were dead. So, technically, we were on a break." "Like Rachel and Ross?" Jack asks. "Yeah, exactly Rachel and Ross," S4GF says. Jack overturns the desk and throws papers all over. "Ross had NO RIGHT to cheat on Rachel!"

Meanwhile, Chloe is trying to bring Anita Hill up to speed on CTU protocols and suchlike, but HLS Dick doesn't think she's qualified and is giving her a hard time, no pun intended. Chloe, for the first time in her entire life, actually takes a personal interest in another human being and asks what the deal with HLS Dick is. Anita Hill tells her that HLS Dick used to sexually harass her when they were at the San Francisco Office. Jack is convinced that Audrey doesn't know anything (which most of us figured out back in Season 4) and wants to call off the interrogation. Frau Blucher is unsatisfied with the progress of the interrorgation and is eager to go Ilsa She-Wolf of the SS on S4GF, and when Jack tries to stop her, he gets tasered by some security goons. S4GF is dragged away kicking and screaming and given over to the ministrations of an interrogator I like to call Dr Mengele.

9:26:54 to 9:34:47

Biff Henderson is on the road, using his Boost Mobile phone to check in with the assault team he paid to off Shaft. "Where you at?" he asks. They inform him that they are in touch with the ground, they're on the hunt they're after Shaft and they expect they'll be upon him by the moonlight side. Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo. Biff is pissed that Shaft isn't dead yet. And now he has that damn song stuck in his head. Meanwhile, Red Foreman checks in with the Secret Service detail to see if Shaft has shown up. A blandly good-looking agent tells him that Shaft has not shown up. Red's Dumbass Sense is tingling, so he takes it on himself to go out and check for Shaft on the road. Frau Blucher approaches the post-tasered Jack. "You better put some ice on that," she advises of his taser wound. "You're interrogating the wrong hot babe. You should be torturing Heidi Fleiss, not my girlfirend from Season 4." Jack's theory is that Biff Henderson told Heidi Fleiss to give up S4GF if she got caught to throw CTU off the scent. Frau Blucher doesn't believe him. "Does he really think he can outsmart Homeland Security?" she demands to know as she signs an order for the police to confiscate every fingernail clipper in Los Angeles as a security precaution.

Speaking of whom, HLS Dick is still giving Anita Hill a hard time, and tells Chloe that the whole sexual harassment thing was BS. So, Chloe tasers him and he goes over and begins harassing the vending machines instead. Jack and Chloe sit down at their computers and prepare to figure out how to prove that Heidi Fleiss was lying to they can call "No Immunity" strap her into the comfy chair.

About this time, those Duke boys were making their way to the target with their "police escort." The terrorists plan to use the city's natural gas pipeline system to distribute the Tex-Mex gas throughout the city. Arriving at the John Goodman Memorial Gas Distribution Plant, they bump a rent-a-cop and move their van into place. The terrorists then invade the utility room and ask an Engineer we'll call Scotty where the control room is. "Who wants to know?" Scotty asks. Bang! "The guy who just killed your friend," HATO answers. "Control room's over there," Scotty tells them. They make their way into the control room, where HATO demands that the pressure in the gas lines be reduced by half in order to allow the Tex-Mex gas to flow. "How long will that take?" HATO demands. "An hour," Scotty says. Bang! "OK, sir, I'll make that 15 minutes."

9:38:52 to 9:47:54

Red Foreman is out in the woods looking for Shaft, when someone we, the viewers, can't see sneaks up from behind with a BFG* and makes him drop his gun. The holder of the BFG turns out to be Shaft. (Shaft Palmer. Damn Right.) They team up. Call them... Kahlua and Cream. Meanwhile, S4GF is in the Comfy Chair getting the treatment the CTU goons like to call "Room Service for Courtney Love." She is being injected with more chemicals than Barry Bonds and starting to cry like Adam Morrison. But Chloe has found phone contacts between Heidi Fleiss and Biff Henderson, which proves she was lying, and therefore her immunity deal is as dead as the chances for social security reform in the US Senate.

Jack goes into her holding cell so he can lay some science on her perky ass. Her security goon tries to stop Jack from interrogating her, so Jack cold cocks him and takes his gun, "Take that, you taser-happy bastard." Jack holds the gun to Heidi Fleiss's head, and she finally admits that the target is a natural gas distribution center, but she doesn't know which one. Jack runs into the interrogation chamber and gets Dr Mengele to pull the IV from S4GF's arm. "I knew you would come," S4GF tells Jack. And, maybe it's the relief of being exonerated or maybe it's the burning torture fluids coursing through her veins, but, she finds herself needin' some lovin', Bauer-style, and she and Jack share a moment of tender doomed intimacy.

Chloe and Chiggy killer are trying to identify which of the gas distribution centers is the target. They've narrowed it down to 30. Fortunately, Anita Hill earned her doctorate in chemistry at the age of 19, did her dissertation on the properties of Highly Classified Government Nerve Agents, and knows that Tex-Mex gas has to be be introduced to lower pressure pipelines, or else it will breakdown. They soon isolate the gas company that has just lowered the pressure in the tubes. "Well done," Chiggy says, and he immediately goes to file the forms with Frau Blucher that will allow him to request an assault team. "Did you see the way his hand brushed my shoulder as he walked by..." Anita Hill says, "he so-o-o-o-o wants me..." Chloe was about to offer her a Coke, but now thinks better of it. Meanwhile, Kahlua and Cream come under heavy fire from Biff Henderson's RoboGoons, and Kahlua takes a bullet. Cream manages to wrestle him into an SUV. He drives off while the dumbasses continue firing at them from behind.

9:52:08 to 9:59:59

Bacardi and Cola are airborne and closing in on the John Goodman Memorial Gas Distribution Center. The terrorists have put the gas canisters in the main tank and are just waiting for the pressure to fall off to the point where the deadly gas can be distributed throughout El Lay. HATO tells Scotty to hurry up and bring the pressure down. "I'm doin' everythin; I can, captain, but I can only lower the pressure so fast. Ye canna change the laws of physics." Bacardi and Cola fast-rope off the chopper and make their way into the distribution center. They make their way downstairs and hear two dudes speaking in Russian. They know real Californians would be speaking Spanish, and quietly ice both of them.

They cautiously make their way to the control room door, entering the control room at 9:56:43. An expendable nameless CTU agent takes the first bullet. As the guns blaze, HATO activates the nerve gas canisters and then runs away. Jack interrogates Scotty to try to figure out if the gas can be stopped before it enters the system. He gets an idea. With some C4, he can ignite the natural gas and burn off the Tex-Mex... or disperse it more widely. Either way.

At 9:57:42, Jack puts the C4 charge onto the main gas line. Then, everybody loses contract with Jack just as the big explosions start happening. Jack, fortunately, uses his super-speed to outrun the exploding flames of a natural gas explosion. Jack gets clears just in time, but then sees HATO running back into the fire. Sensing his one opportunity to nail HATO, he gives chase. He catches up with HATO just as HATO is about to make his getaway in Roscoe Coltrane's police cruiser. They fight while natural gas storage tanks detonate all around them... in some of the hottest man-on-man action this side of Brokeback Mountain. And none of the previews for next week show Jack, because the network thinks they can trick us into thinking he's dead.

* Big Frakkin' Gun

IMMIGRATION BOIL OVER

Well, yesterday, 500,000 illegal immigrants walked out and protested laws that would force them to assimilate to the USA. Wow, what a missed opportunity.

A simple round-up and mass deportation could cut some serious problems then and there.

Well, since it wasn't done, what do you expect? Republicans to get balls? The Democrats to change themselves?

Nope.

They want to keep their free voters.

And today, 14,000 students walked out of LA Schools, to protest enforcing the laws of the land.

Good, make sure they're expelled for good. They don't wanna learn, give their desks to those who want to.

I'm sick of it all.

We Didn't Wanna Be Rescued, So Go Away!

These are self-professed, liberal, better than you Christians. Keep this in mind. Duct-tape alert..... Wrap your head in duct tape before reading this, your head will explode.

NY Times jumps on bandwagon to make sure the rescue appeared to be God's work against Bush and our troops.

How were they rescued you fucking dipshits? According to FOX NEWS radio, British and Polish Special Forces did the legwork and got the hostages out. Minus one the mooselimbs offed a few weeks ago.

Did the so-called Christians show their thanks? Did they set the media strait? Nope, they blame the Coalition for their ordeal, not the sword wielding maniacs.....

Did I miss something here? Aren't Christians, well, REAL CHRISTIANS usually grateful to those who rescue them? What kind of group is this? Simple, they're leftists and they feel their slant of Christianity is better than the other billion or so that do not buy into all their crap. They called their rescuers OCCUPIERS.

What's the difference between these stool chunks and Rev. Fred Phelps? Phelps makes no bones about being evil. These so-called peaceful Christians are more cunning and sly. The shake you with one hand and get the other ready with a dagger to plunge into your back. Soldiers, take note on whom you rescue next time.

Personally, I say hand them back over it Zarqawi and let them enjoy their new friends. I also have to say this, as Christians, they weren't too smart venturing out of secure areas and allowing themselves to be kidnapped. They are as eerily stupid and suspiciously pro-mooselimb as that Italian journalist who was wounded in an accidental gun battle with US troops.

Remember the beyotch who called her rescuers murderers? Wait, she wasn't rescued. The Italian lefties pressured the Berlusconni Government to cave in and pay off the terrorists to free that Commie Whore. A slap in the face to other Italians who were killed, one of whom spit at his captors and yelled- "This is how an Italian dies! Bafangula, tu islamofasces."- F-ck you Islamofascists! Those were that man's last words. Rest, freed by UK or Aussie troops, who killed the captors. I'm ready for someone to defend these peacenik morons. Recklessly endanger their lives and risk others knowing they must be rescued, then grandstand and spit at their rescuers.

Would a concentration camp inmate spit at an American soldier who just freed them and shot the SS guards up? No, never happened.

Sadly these ingrates show some folks aren't worth rescuing.

24 UPDATE: New Traitor?

OK, as you know 24 was on last night. And as you know the Homeland Security folks have taken over since CTU is almost dead. As the bodies are being moved, Insensitive DHS Bastard kicks Edgar's large and lifeless body and demands Chloe give him Truffle Shuffle's desk. Chloe refuses and Insensitive bastard takes offense. He prevails by telling his boss, known at blogs4bauer as Frau Blucher. He also gets Chloe's key card. Anyone remember what happened when some turd got or lost their key card? Fat Dead Hobbit ring a bell?

Meanwhile the politics are brewing, worse politics form as President LimpDick and VP Saruman declare martial law. You can see Cheney Clone shaking his head in disgust and the First Lady pissed off. During that, Agent Pierce, the Redhead Wonder gets a call from David Palmer's Brother, aka Shaft Jr. He is on the way to the Presidential Retreat and has top secret info. Pierce and the First Lady know. So far, it's only them....

All this time Jack and Token are tracking a lead on one of Ivan The Terrible's leads. She's a callgirl, aka Debbie. Debbie did a Deutschlander and is now being tracked by the German intel and US intel. The Germans won't cooperate and hand over the call girl unless they get a NSA "wet list" Wet list being a list of all US agents operating in Germany, so the Reich can track them and take credit for their terrorist busts.

Back at CTU CHloe is called by Jack to get that list from Insensitive Bastard. Bastard is sitting, typing and sneering, when Chloe accidentally dumps hot coffee into his lap. He screams like a girl, whines about his tie and leaves long enough for Chloe to get the list, upload it, and send it to Jack.

Jack gives Scruffy German Guy the list, and they make the bust against the Callgirl. Debbie then alludes that she is not fully aware of info the terrorists have, ie the next target for nerve gas.

At CTU Buchanan, Blucher and Bastard ream out Chloe for sending the list. Blucher is worried about more hurricane fall out. Buchanan is pissed that CTU will be hammered at more. And Bastard, his matching shirt and tie have Java stains now. Oh darn. Jack is called, and he says let's do it.

Debbie and Jack wave uff the Scruffmeister. He thinks he has Der List and is wrong. It fries his I Pod. "Scheisse!" He yells and then threatens Jack for double crossing him and not getting him Der Wette Liste.

Back at the Retreat, Shaft Jr. is stopped at a Road Block, near LA. Martial Law, that's right. The soldiers call VP Saruman and President Limpdick. They let him in, and Saruman makes another call..... Hmmm. So, Shaft Jr.'s tires are shot out by unknown masked guys, in a van, INSIDE the President's Retreat. The MErcedes is Ruined but Shaft Jr lives and is on the run...... tune in next week.

And at the end, Jack is interrogating Debbie, who says "Der Traitor est, Audrey Raines....."

"You lie, dammit!"

"Nein, I am telling ze truth...."

Jack is now more pissed than ever.

His pal Tony is dead, his comic relief Truffle Shuffle is gone, he hasn't seen his woman in hours, his daughter Cougar Bait and her shrink told him off and left, and David Palmer is dead.....

Tune in next week.

Piddly Demonstrations mark 3 year memorial to Iraq War

More like 3 years of wining and waning protests....

observe.

Well, the statement may be redundant, but here's what I mean.

The protestors are losing any appeal to the majority of the US, despite the fictitious polls. Yes, the polls that say most Americans do not support the way, but predicted Kerry as the winner. The protestors had some rather pathetic numbers this past weekend.

3 Year Anniversary marks dismal protests in NYC, DC, SLC, and other areas. Even San Fran was down.

The left is also desparate enough to have Susan Sarandon play Cindy Sheehan in a movie about the "Peace Mom." The same Peace Mom who gave up Casey in her first divorce and more or less disowned him before he died, but has ridden his casket into the public light. The same Peace Mom who's alienated her new family, and caused her second husband to divorce her.

But her newer family of strangers and protestors and malcontents seems to make her happy. Read on....Susan plays Cindy Shitstain

But, leave it up to MSNBC and the other MSM types to carry the torch of denial.

They call it, quiet disapproval. MSNBC's Trotskyite tantrum

I do have a question. Where is the coverage on the changes for the good in Iraq, since 2003? New hospitals, better utilities, no secret police, more schools, Democratic elections. Where's the coverage of that?

And one more question. How does Richard Belzer, have the gall to discount what our troops feel about the war? He said this on Bill Mahrer- "I don't count the opinions of our troops, as they're 19-20 year olds who couldn't get a real job. They play GI Joe. Also, they're so desensitized to the violence they've stirred, and so numb to their own brushes with death, why trust them? I read 20 newspapers a day, and I have a better idea on Iraq, than these kids do...."- that was a summary, but Bill Mahrer offered his expert advice and clapped like a trained seal.

Support the troops but not the mission, it the rationalization. That worked so well in Vietnam, which we were winning MILITARILY. Tet had wiped out the VC and NVA stamina for massive offensives. The peace talks started when the North wanted the Hanoi Bombings to stop. And of course, we wanted our POWs back. Can you tell me that undermining our troops is a way to win.

Pat em on the back with one hand and stab em in that back with the other. Typical liberal tactic.

It's 3 years and counting. 2000+ dead, 5000+ wounded. in 3 years. on D-day we lost over 3500 killed and 10,000 wounded. Pearl Harbor over 2000 dead and 3000 wounded. SEPTEMBER 11, 2001- 3,000 Murdered by terrorists. One day versus three years.

That's all I have to say. Good Luck America.

What Do You Liberals Have Left?

What Do You Liberals Have Left?

What do you liberals have left to complain?
Your screams and shrill repore are in vain.
You rehash the same old battle cries,
and reinforce it with new and more ludicrous lies.

Of Reagan, you said he'd destroy the USA,
you said we'd eventually rue the day,
that a Christian Republican freak survived,
after the Hinckley shooting he did thrive.

Reagan toppled the Soviets, their puppet regimes,
despite Ted Kennedy, and other liberals schemes.
He took the Soviets into a game of chicken,
boy did their blood start to thicken.

Too bad for you the Berlin Wall did fall,
when Communism was waning you did ball.
Acting like idiots, and flunkies, and knaves,
ignoring all of Stalins mass graves.

Of Islamofascists, you give the usual excuses.
Instead we are the one you usually accuse.
Of inciting the hate-filled radicals and making a pretext,
what scum of humanity will you defend next?

You cried when Michael Moore was booed and scorned,
but you never weep for the 30 million killed unborn,
piled into paupers graves, almost communal,
making Il Duce's death resemble a state funeral. '

You're starting to run out of steam,
bursting wider than Ted Kennedy's pant seems.
You losing all touch with reality, wow it's sad;
We'd laugh at your more, if it weren't so bad.

You liberals are running around and around,
arguing against tax cuts and eventually Charlie Brown.
You deserve the categories you all get lumped in.
You'd argue that there is a Great Pumpkin.

Bogeymen, conspiracy theories, insanity galore;
your darling is a Peace Mom, a strutting media whore.
I'd expect your spokesperson to exhibit no less,
then to recclaim her dead kid she booted from her nest.

Her son reinlisted for duty, 3 more times,
before his death was exploited by the media slimes.
She didn't seem to think her parasitic behavior the least bit gory,
riding her son's casket to dubious glory.

You liberals really are a really pathetic lot,
I say you're brains were susceptible to rot.
You're armor is riddle, with holes and chinks,
in a matter of time you'll certainly sink.

America is not so stupid as you had hoped,
despite the liberals, Hollyweirdos and other dopes.
Your time is past, you are quite done.
Now go the way of Attila the Hun.

Into history, a sad footnote.
No more will you gloat.
Your philosphies did try to thrive,
Too bad your deception claimed millions of lives.

In Cambodia, Russia, and East Germany
No workers paradise, or any hint of harmony.
Just bone pits, gulags, and border guards.
Can't wait to see you hoisted by your petard.

You thought you were better than others, at least swell.
You bought yourselves an express pass to hell.
We will all be judged, no escaping the eternal march,
some to heaven, others to places more harsh.

The End.

Making Sense of Liberal Logic

DUCT TAPE ALERT: Wrap your head in a few layers of grey tape. Your head will explode at the banality and complete idiocy of the liberals so-called logic.

First, lethal injection is considered too cruel and too unusual for punishment. Bare in mind, the killer gets two or three injections. One is saline to test the line. Second is a sleep solution. And third is the poison. Mr. Serial Killer is asleep and does not feel a thing. He dies peacefully. This is cruel.

However, slicing off heads under Sharia is permissable. Stoning for accused adultery is fine. Pedophilia is now a must according to some worthless courts and California Assembleymen like Mark Leno. Killing is fine, if you can prove your crazy. None of the victims died in a cruel manner? Give me a f-ckin break!

Second, the libs say Tom Delay, Cunningham, Cheney, and all Republicans should be impeached and jailed for so-called corruption. Tom DeLay incidentally got an injunction on a Democrat Storm Trooper, oops the so-called prosecutor Ronnie Earle. Cunningham stepped down, and got up to 18 years in jail for taking bribes. Cheney shot and wounded a guy, but the guy is not suing, not demanding jail. However, Nancy Pelosi will never face a minute of scrutiny for hiring illegal immigrants and non-union employees for her family's business and says she is more pro-Union than anyone else. Ted Kennedy won't see a courthouse for drowning and murdering one Mary Jo Kopechne. And forget Gary Condit, he killed and sliced up an intern and dumped her in the woods. Clinton? Nooooo, not Saint Hillbilly.

Third, liberals say all war is wrong and Republicans are warmongers. They say we ought not be in any international conflicts. This from the same trained chimp brigade that clambored for Clinton to bomb Serbia. Demanded Clinton intervene in Haiti, and let's not forget Vietnam- JFK and LBJ's nice attempt at war being fought without listening to the advice of combat vets. Jack's Harvard buddies really cocked up that war.

Fourth, liberals say we should never have gone into Iraq, and they were better off. Funny, there's over 500,000 dead Iraqis, Shiites, Kurds, and Iranians who'd say different were they not slaughtered by Uncle Saddam. Interesting thing, Hillary, Harry, and other Democrats voted FOR MILITARY ACTION. These same idiots who complain about being lied to, clambored for Clinton's 1998 Air Strike and forced disarmament of Saddam when a Democrat was in office. Hmmmm, there's logic.

I could go on, but why go any further.

Democrats good, Republicans evil, that's liberal logic.

All minorities good, except any traitor or house slave who votes FOR a conservative.

Governor Blanco acted well during Katrina, but Hailey Barbour is a bigot for enforcing curfews in Mississippi and blocking further flocks of refugees.

Yeah, lib logic.

24 UPDATE: HOLY FRICKIN.... Part II

Well, last night was slightly less crazy than last week's double whammy. However, it was not without some predictable deaths, but there was one suprise (maybe maybe not). Last night, Jack gets to a contaminated room to debug a computer so the vents can get all the nerve gas out. It's blocked by security bars, and the closest room is the holding room. That room has Hobbit Boy, aka Lynn McGill and a Red Shirt Guard. Lynn is called to get into that room and debug the computer, but the twist there are no saferooms he can get to, so he must die to save more lives. Lynn and the Red Shirt die, doing this. All the while, Chloe is still upset at Edgar's death, still crying, but after a pep talk from Jack, she gets back to her game of computer skills. The gas is sucked out, and Jack, Director Bill, Audrey, Kim, and the others in the conference and medical rooms live. Kim decides to ditch her father for good and leaves with the shrink. Rather cold, considering how many times Jack saved Kim from certain death.

All the while Tony wants to kill Chris Henderson (Peter Weller), the CTU turncoat now mercenary. Tony decides to try and kill the sleeping Chris with a syreinge of poison. however, Henderson awakes, and stabs Tony with it ala Pulp Fiction. Tony dies, Jack cries, and Henderson is on the run, again.

Back at the President's Retreat, LimpDick Nixon is agreeing to martial law and being manipulated by Vice President Buck Turgeson. Dick Cheney Clone, aka Mike Novick, no likee. He enlists the aide of the First Lady. She agrees to the statement, but only if she helps advise the president along with Novick and not just the VP. Martial law is instated and since CTU is knocked out, LimpDick sends in Homeland Security to take over and take command of the surviving CTU personnel.

Ivan The Terrible, the Ruskie Terrorist, is planning to release the rest of the nerve gas- 15 cannisters in LA, and projected to kill over 250,000 people.

Next week, Jack, Curtis and the rest of CTU must save LA from the terrorists and somehow save the incompetent LimpDick from himself and his Machiavellian advisors.

Top 10 Signs You may be a 24 Junkie

10. You hear every clock and watch tick as the one on 24.
9. If you see anything with Elisha Cuthbert and yell, "Hey! It's Kim Bauer!"
8. You follow up comment 9, with, "where's the cougar at?"
7. You're shocked that Kiefer Sutherland did other stuff before being Jack Bauer.
6. You search for advice columns titled Dear Mike Novick.
5. You start yelling during episodes when someone does Jack Bauer wrong.
4. You miss David Palmer, George Mason, Michelle Dessler, Edgar Stiles, Ryan Chappelle and even Nina Myers.
3. You call your ex-girlfriend a "frickin Nina Myers b-tch."
2. You call your ex-boyfriend a "spineless President Logan type."
1. You ask yourself, "What Would Jack Bauer Do?" WWJBD?


And if you don't believe any of these apply, go to http://blogs4bauer.blogspot.com/

24 UPDATE: HOLY FRICKIN.....

Well, last night was the fastest and most rattling 2 hours on 24, so far. It beats the Air Force One shootdown and Jack faking his death hands down, but ranks up there with Nina Myers and Terri Bauer's face off.

First hour, Martha Logan, Pierce, the Russian Prez & His Wife survive the missile attack on their limo and fly back to President Limpdick Nixon's Retreat. There Nixon is faking happiness over his wife being alive and assuades the Russian PM that his wife is like Martha Mitchell, crazy. Later he is really happy she's alive. Cheney clone is pissed that Nixon would dare concede to terrorists, and now his slimy VP comes in and proposes martial law and suspension of the Constitution. Meanwhile Martha is pissed at Dick.

Back to Jack, he escapes Robocop's bomb attempt and hunts down his wife, at the home. Robocop is married to Poltergeist Mom and Jack questions her to get info. She has none, so they sit and wait for Psycho Ward Cleaver, aka Murphy. Murph gets home and Jack shoots the wife to get him to talk. He won't, and shows himself a coward and a worse husband than Claus von Bulow. Roboslug, and Jack go back to CTU.

Meanwhile, Curtis aka Token, and CTU find a nerve gas bomb, at a crowded hospital and disarm it, as it goes off, in a bomb squad containment truck. Only one dead is a Russian who was trying to set off the bomb.

Back at CTU, Lynn McGill, aka Fat Hobbit, is calling his sister to get back his security card. She won't give it, as Crack Whore Girl and her dealer want money for it. So, one of em gets a call from a blonde Ruskie. He's one of Ivan The Terrible's men, Ivan being the Russian leader. He goes over and caps the crackwhore and takes the card.

Hour 2,

Jack is heading back to CTU to question Roboslug. At this time Kim Bauer, aka Jailbait, JAck's daughter is ushered into CTU by Square Jaw Buchanan, Chloe, Truffle Shuffle, and Jack's ex, Audrey. Audrey tells Jailbait and Goat boy, her really touchy feely shrink, that Jack is not dead. Jailbait is pissed, because her old hubby, Nubs (Chase, the One Armed Bandit) left her, and Jailbait hit rock bottom. Jack talks to her, and the shrink tries to interrupt and Jack gives him the, "I'm gonna rip your throat out and Abu Ghraib you..." look. Jailbait tells off Dad, and then they share a moment. Jack then needs to go torture Roboslug.

Meanwhile the Russian capped Crackwhore and the dealer, took Hobbit's card and sneaks into CTU, now well groomed and in a suit. The card is now formatted for Aryan Ruskie and he sneaks in, with a big gym bag. Wonder what's in the bag, nerve gas? He gets schematics for CTU and starts to plant the nerve gas in ventilation.

Upstairs Truffle Shuffle is having a short fuse and has Carrie go downstairs to check the vents, since he's sweating like a pig. Wait, Truffle usually does that anyway..... Carrie gets shived by the Ruskie, and the bomb is set.

Martha is called on by Cheney Clone to talk Limpdick out of martial law and posse comitatus. Wait til next week.

Curtis, aka Token, is on the way back to CTU, stuck in traffic.

Jack cannot break Roboslug, and is pissed. Fat Hobbit finally tells Squarejaw that CrackWhore took his card, and Jaw tells him that Crack Whore is dead, KIA by Ruskie. Jaw, Jack, and others initiate a lockdown of CTU, and Ruskie wastes a few Redshirts (nameless security guards, cTU agents). Jack kills him, of course, but finds a timer.

Too late, though most of CTU is evacuated, dozens die as the nerve gas is released. Hobbit is in an airtight cell, sealed. Roboslug, the doctor, and now Burn Center Almieda are awake. Tony is pissed that his wife is dead and wants some blood of his own. That must wait as he's stuck with Roboslug in a sealed room. Jack, Chloe, Jaw, Goatboy, Jailbait, Auuudrey, and a nameless CTU lady crowd into the sealed conference room.

They see dozens shake, rattle, and drop. Sadly, they see Truffle Shuffle waddle into the main room, looking at bodies. Truff starts to twitch, mutters Chloe and drops dead. Chloe cries, for once. The clock ends, no noises (like when Chappelle died)

Next week, someone else major dies. I think it's gonna be Fat Hobbit, or Burn Ward Tony. Nah, not Tony, he just woke up, and he's pissed. Hobbit, yeah, oh yeah.

BABS STREISAND: I kant spel

Check this out. Babs Streisand fancies herself a leader, well, better than the President of the United States.

Funny thing, her spelling errors are quite numerous.

LINK: http://www.drudgereport.com/flash1bs.htm

Here are some of the words.

• Irag- Iraq
• curruption-corruption
• dictatoriship-dictatorship
• crediblity-credibility
• Adminstration-Administration
• warrented-warranted
• desperatly-desparately
• preceedings-precedings
• ouside-outside
• subpoening-subpoena
• responsibilty-responsibility

Castro and Chavez, sitting in a tree....

OK, as you all know, Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez are tight. They're close allies. And supprisingly there are a few Americans who love and admire Uncle Fidel and his bastard son, Hugo.

Some include Harry Belafonte, the banana boat crooner, and has-been who now stokes racism and Communism for his points. Belafonte called Cuba the workers paradise. Yeah, that's why tens of thousands flee Cuba every year, land in Florida, and some die to get to the US. Wow, that's the land of the free for you. Hardly the new Nazi Germany that Harry equates his native land to. Harry was born in NY, NY, FYI, but considers himself more Caribbean than American. Move to Cuba, Harry.

Danny Glover, that's right, Detective Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon is a Castroite. Glover feels that Cuba is a model for the world. Yea, those prisons that Castro emptied out were such Hilton's. Can we say gulag? How about Castro censoring actors, writers, religious thinkers, etc. ? Come on Danny, get a brain, if it's not too late.

Steven Spielberg wanted to do a bio on Fidel, as did Oliver Stone. Spielberg commented how Cuba is being treated bad by the US, a few years back. Oddly enough, Robert Duvall slammed him, adding, "Maybe Spielberg ought to visit the Cuban wing on the Holocaust Museum before he opens his mouth again. Castro is bloodied murderer, why glamorize this tyrant? Are Hitler and Stalin worth the same treatment?"

Yes, the worker's paradise in Cuba, soon to be followed by Venezuela. Hugo is aligning his forces up with Fidels. Militarily, financially, and even in resources. Chavez is thought by the libs to be respectable for not kissing up to George Bush or America. Referring to yourselves in the third person, much? Aren't you libs, Americans? No wait, you're citizens of the world, better than the ignorant patriotic flag-wavers. Oddly enough those jingoistics paid in blood for your right to trash your own home. That's gratitude.

And let's go to Venezuela. Hugo is such an enlightened dictator, that he is closing churches, threatening the Papal Ambassador and Cardinal of Venezuela with jail for speaking out against him. Chavez is expelling American and European missionaries who are in the Western jungles. El Paranoido thinks these missionaries are spying on him and giving Colombia strategic information. Actually Chavez hates Americans so, he'd prefer to screw missionaries out of helping their fellow man. He also prefers those in distant Western Venezuela remain ignorant and nodding and loving Senor Hugo. Real piece of work he is. Hugo is also offering oil to any country besides the US and some of Europe. Chavez has been critical of anyone who dares to counter his view. Senor Chavez es muy Brat Grande, or El Hijo De Puta.

Chavez and Castro, sitting in a tree.......

Brokeback dictators, how, cu.... ugh, revolting.

ASH WEDNESDAY/ LENT BEGINS

Well, fellow Christians and Catholics. Today marks the beginning of Lent. Traditionally it's when you give up something, or a few things for Lent. It's a yearly tradition, after the binging and all that from the Holidays. However, isn't Lent and spiritual fasting more than food and putting ashes on one's head. This is no slite to Catholics, but isn't sacrifice and remembering the Lord something that ought to be year round not just for 40 days? I am not saying we're all perfect, but why just do it a few times a year? To look pleasant? To look more pious? I hope it's not just for our own sakes we do this. If it is just for yea, it will avail yea not.

Observe Lent, but observe the Lord year round. And those who are giving up stuff for Lent, great, but let's see if we can take it past Easter.

I for one will try to give up alcohol for Lent. Yeah, I'm part Irish, Scottish and German in my heritage, wish me luck and pray for me.