24 UPDATE: HOLY FRICKIN.....
Well, last night was the fastest and most rattling 2 hours on 24, so far. It beats the Air Force One shootdown and Jack faking his death hands down, but ranks up there with Nina Myers and Terri Bauer's face off.
First hour, Martha Logan, Pierce, the Russian Prez & His Wife survive the missile attack on their limo and fly back to President Limpdick Nixon's Retreat. There Nixon is faking happiness over his wife being alive and assuades the Russian PM that his wife is like Martha Mitchell, crazy. Later he is really happy she's alive. Cheney clone is pissed that Nixon would dare concede to terrorists, and now his slimy VP comes in and proposes martial law and suspension of the Constitution. Meanwhile Martha is pissed at Dick.
Back to Jack, he escapes Robocop's bomb attempt and hunts down his wife, at the home. Robocop is married to Poltergeist Mom and Jack questions her to get info. She has none, so they sit and wait for Psycho Ward Cleaver, aka Murphy. Murph gets home and Jack shoots the wife to get him to talk. He won't, and shows himself a coward and a worse husband than Claus von Bulow. Roboslug, and Jack go back to CTU.
Meanwhile, Curtis aka Token, and CTU find a nerve gas bomb, at a crowded hospital and disarm it, as it goes off, in a bomb squad containment truck. Only one dead is a Russian who was trying to set off the bomb.
Back at CTU, Lynn McGill, aka Fat Hobbit, is calling his sister to get back his security card. She won't give it, as Crack Whore Girl and her dealer want money for it. So, one of em gets a call from a blonde Ruskie. He's one of Ivan The Terrible's men, Ivan being the Russian leader. He goes over and caps the crackwhore and takes the card.
Hour 2,
Jack is heading back to CTU to question Roboslug. At this time Kim Bauer, aka Jailbait, JAck's daughter is ushered into CTU by Square Jaw Buchanan, Chloe, Truffle Shuffle, and Jack's ex, Audrey. Audrey tells Jailbait and Goat boy, her really touchy feely shrink, that Jack is not dead. Jailbait is pissed, because her old hubby, Nubs (Chase, the One Armed Bandit) left her, and Jailbait hit rock bottom. Jack talks to her, and the shrink tries to interrupt and Jack gives him the, "I'm gonna rip your throat out and Abu Ghraib you..." look. Jailbait tells off Dad, and then they share a moment. Jack then needs to go torture Roboslug.
Meanwhile the Russian capped Crackwhore and the dealer, took Hobbit's card and sneaks into CTU, now well groomed and in a suit. The card is now formatted for Aryan Ruskie and he sneaks in, with a big gym bag. Wonder what's in the bag, nerve gas? He gets schematics for CTU and starts to plant the nerve gas in ventilation.
Upstairs Truffle Shuffle is having a short fuse and has Carrie go downstairs to check the vents, since he's sweating like a pig. Wait, Truffle usually does that anyway..... Carrie gets shived by the Ruskie, and the bomb is set.
Martha is called on by Cheney Clone to talk Limpdick out of martial law and posse comitatus. Wait til next week.
Curtis, aka Token, is on the way back to CTU, stuck in traffic.
Jack cannot break Roboslug, and is pissed. Fat Hobbit finally tells Squarejaw that CrackWhore took his card, and Jaw tells him that Crack Whore is dead, KIA by Ruskie. Jaw, Jack, and others initiate a lockdown of CTU, and Ruskie wastes a few Redshirts (nameless security guards, cTU agents). Jack kills him, of course, but finds a timer.
Too late, though most of CTU is evacuated, dozens die as the nerve gas is released. Hobbit is in an airtight cell, sealed. Roboslug, the doctor, and now Burn Center Almieda are awake. Tony is pissed that his wife is dead and wants some blood of his own. That must wait as he's stuck with Roboslug in a sealed room. Jack, Chloe, Jaw, Goatboy, Jailbait, Auuudrey, and a nameless CTU lady crowd into the sealed conference room.
They see dozens shake, rattle, and drop. Sadly, they see Truffle Shuffle waddle into the main room, looking at bodies. Truff starts to twitch, mutters Chloe and drops dead. Chloe cries, for once. The clock ends, no noises (like when Chappelle died)
Next week, someone else major dies. I think it's gonna be Fat Hobbit, or Burn Ward Tony. Nah, not Tony, he just woke up, and he's pissed. Hobbit, yeah, oh yeah.
First hour, Martha Logan, Pierce, the Russian Prez & His Wife survive the missile attack on their limo and fly back to President Limpdick Nixon's Retreat. There Nixon is faking happiness over his wife being alive and assuades the Russian PM that his wife is like Martha Mitchell, crazy. Later he is really happy she's alive. Cheney clone is pissed that Nixon would dare concede to terrorists, and now his slimy VP comes in and proposes martial law and suspension of the Constitution. Meanwhile Martha is pissed at Dick.
Back to Jack, he escapes Robocop's bomb attempt and hunts down his wife, at the home. Robocop is married to Poltergeist Mom and Jack questions her to get info. She has none, so they sit and wait for Psycho Ward Cleaver, aka Murphy. Murph gets home and Jack shoots the wife to get him to talk. He won't, and shows himself a coward and a worse husband than Claus von Bulow. Roboslug, and Jack go back to CTU.
Meanwhile, Curtis aka Token, and CTU find a nerve gas bomb, at a crowded hospital and disarm it, as it goes off, in a bomb squad containment truck. Only one dead is a Russian who was trying to set off the bomb.
Back at CTU, Lynn McGill, aka Fat Hobbit, is calling his sister to get back his security card. She won't give it, as Crack Whore Girl and her dealer want money for it. So, one of em gets a call from a blonde Ruskie. He's one of Ivan The Terrible's men, Ivan being the Russian leader. He goes over and caps the crackwhore and takes the card.
Hour 2,
Jack is heading back to CTU to question Roboslug. At this time Kim Bauer, aka Jailbait, JAck's daughter is ushered into CTU by Square Jaw Buchanan, Chloe, Truffle Shuffle, and Jack's ex, Audrey. Audrey tells Jailbait and Goat boy, her really touchy feely shrink, that Jack is not dead. Jailbait is pissed, because her old hubby, Nubs (Chase, the One Armed Bandit) left her, and Jailbait hit rock bottom. Jack talks to her, and the shrink tries to interrupt and Jack gives him the, "I'm gonna rip your throat out and Abu Ghraib you..." look. Jailbait tells off Dad, and then they share a moment. Jack then needs to go torture Roboslug.
Meanwhile the Russian capped Crackwhore and the dealer, took Hobbit's card and sneaks into CTU, now well groomed and in a suit. The card is now formatted for Aryan Ruskie and he sneaks in, with a big gym bag. Wonder what's in the bag, nerve gas? He gets schematics for CTU and starts to plant the nerve gas in ventilation.
Upstairs Truffle Shuffle is having a short fuse and has Carrie go downstairs to check the vents, since he's sweating like a pig. Wait, Truffle usually does that anyway..... Carrie gets shived by the Ruskie, and the bomb is set.
Martha is called on by Cheney Clone to talk Limpdick out of martial law and posse comitatus. Wait til next week.
Curtis, aka Token, is on the way back to CTU, stuck in traffic.
Jack cannot break Roboslug, and is pissed. Fat Hobbit finally tells Squarejaw that CrackWhore took his card, and Jaw tells him that Crack Whore is dead, KIA by Ruskie. Jaw, Jack, and others initiate a lockdown of CTU, and Ruskie wastes a few Redshirts (nameless security guards, cTU agents). Jack kills him, of course, but finds a timer.
Too late, though most of CTU is evacuated, dozens die as the nerve gas is released. Hobbit is in an airtight cell, sealed. Roboslug, the doctor, and now Burn Center Almieda are awake. Tony is pissed that his wife is dead and wants some blood of his own. That must wait as he's stuck with Roboslug in a sealed room. Jack, Chloe, Jaw, Goatboy, Jailbait, Auuudrey, and a nameless CTU lady crowd into the sealed conference room.
They see dozens shake, rattle, and drop. Sadly, they see Truffle Shuffle waddle into the main room, looking at bodies. Truff starts to twitch, mutters Chloe and drops dead. Chloe cries, for once. The clock ends, no noises (like when Chappelle died)
Next week, someone else major dies. I think it's gonna be Fat Hobbit, or Burn Ward Tony. Nah, not Tony, he just woke up, and he's pissed. Hobbit, yeah, oh yeah.
posted by NDwalters @ 5:31 AM
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