24 Character Codenames

Here's a list, I think works. There is a good one at http://blogs4bauer.blogspot.com/

1. The Man- Jack Bauer
2. Whiner- Audrey Rains
3. The Ghost- recently deceased President Palmer
4. President Limp Dick Nixon- President Logan
5. English Patient- Tony Almieda, he's in the burn ward.
6. Chunk aka Truffle Shuffle- Edgar Styles
7. Cheney's Twin- Mike Novick
8. Bad Robocop- Peter Weller, the exec Chris Henderson
9. Fat Hobbit aka Rudy- Lynn McGill, aka Sean Astin
10. Token (from blogs4bauer)- the sole brother in 24, since Palmer's death.
11. Beyotch- Chloe O Brian
12. Barishnykov- the Russian terrorist leader, Julian Sands


Think up others, they're fun.

24 Update

Well, well, the Russian President was sent into harms way by President LD. Limp Dick. Limp Dick Nixon hit his knees in prayer, and drug Mike Novick, aka Cheney's Twin into prayer, like Nixon and Kissinger in the Final Days. Why? Was he praying for the attack on the motorcade to succeed or fail? Was he hoping his wife would live or die? Was he hoping no one would find out about his incompetence? Who knows, only Charles Logan does for sure. Needless to say Hounddog Agent Pierce shoots terrorists, despite his limo being hit with a missile, and even takes out a flamethrower. Cool.

In the meantime CTU has a coup d'etat and the Fat Hobbit, aka Rudy, aka Lynn McGill is finally fired after his endless stream of firings and arrests. Curtis, Audrey, Chloe, and Truffle Shuffle, aka Edgar Styles, took out the fool and put him in Bill Buchanan's cell. However, in this time, they manage to save the Russian President and the First Lady, but lose track of Jack's lead.

Meanwhile, Jack is tracking a lead with a former CTU guy turned Chemical Warfare Company exec, we'll just call him Bad Robocop, as it's Peter Weller from the Robocop films. We think Jack has an ally, but nope, he tries to blow up Jack. Needless to say, he fails, and Jack is still pissed.

Next week, we get glimpses of Kim Bauer coming back, Tony out of his coma, the First Lady and President going round and round, and suprisingly nil on McGill.

Next week looks gooooood.

Don Knotts, Darren McGavin, both dead

Don Knotts, aka Barney Fife from the Andy Griffith show died this past weekend, he was 81. He was before my time, but I saw re-runs and that guy was funny. Fairly clean, and will be missed.

Darren McGavin, best known as the father from A Christmas Story and a mobster in The Natural, died also. He was 81. He was also known for the TV show, Kolchak: The Night Stalker, and as Murphy Brown's father.

Both of you gents, RIP.

24 Update

Finally, the world of Cable TV is back! 24 is now back in gorgeous surround sound and digital picture. This past week, good episode, but a pisser. Let's just say Rudy, aka Sean Astin, aka Lynn McGill, is pissing me off. He's ruling CTU like Napoleon on speed, trying to jail Bauer, Curtis, Audrey, and did cuff Bill Buchanan. Did McGill think, gee, maybe I need these guys handling terrorism and can chew em out later. Nope, pompous little turdhurder enjoys his power. Too bad, he can't get his keycard from his Crackwhore Sister. Jack finds the man who had Palmer killed, or so he thinks. There is a bigger badder Russian terrorist, played by Julian Sands, who is pulling the strings and has Nathanson killed. Jack gets a disc from Nate, and it's DOD, Department of Defense formatted, ultra sensitive. How did he get that info, I wonder? Can we say, traitors? And President Limpdick, aka Chuckie Logan, is going to give Sands terrorist the Russian Prez's motorcade route and let them kill the Russian prez, in exchange, do not let off 19 cannisters of nerve gas across the US, and maybe across the world. Jack now has to save the world from terrorists, CTU from Napoleon Dumbassbite, The Russian Prez from the new stupid US Prez. Man, if I was Bauer, I'd be pissed having to do all this.

Next week, will be killer.

And if you wanna meet some fellow 24 junkies, go to this blog.

http://blogs4bauer.blogspot.com/

And if you wanna debate some of the Bauer fans and the evil conservative empire.

go here:

http://www.nicedoggie.net/2006/

PORT OF SHAME

Here is the question of the day, WHAT IN THE HELL IS GEORGE BUSH THINKING ON THIS PORT SITUATION? Yes, some of you liberals are enjoying the day when conservatives are pissed at Bush. Too bad, this particular act could hurt the whole country.

Here's why the port idea is bad news.

1. Handing over our commerce to a foreign power- would anyone in their right mind hand over their ports and entry points of imports and exit points of exports to a foreign power with dubious credentials? Better yet, would you hand over your golden goose to a guy who frequently deals with your enemy? No. However, common sense is dead. We're handing over our economic standing to fair weather friends. The United Arab Emirates could be as close if not closer to jihad and civil war as Iraq and Saudi Arabia or even Egypt. If we'd handed over our ports to Iran in 1975, and then found ourselves without materiale in 1979 due to anti-American mullahs cutting off our commerce, wouldn't that be an act of war? If you think a few million barrels of oil is bad, try billions of tons in commerce every year.

2. No inspection zones- as you know some port terminus and areas are free trade and inspection free zones. Good for some sending tons of commerce and wanting to cut the red tape. Bad, as drug dealers and terrorists can import their own mayhem and chemicals into the US. How would you know? They'd never be inspected, they'd be allowed to do whatever, and they'd be in their legal right, as our port became their soil. Smart move, not.

3. Weapons of Mass Destruction- yeah this sounds like 24, Tom Clancy territory, but wouldn't it be a tactical move by a terrorist to ship a nuke, biological, or chemical weapon to the US and set it off? Or better yet, ship the components to various ports, assemble them under the cloak of darkness, transport them through our porous borders, and then light them off? Wow, that would suck. Well, that could be reality if this measure passes. And some of you say we ought not do surveillance, shame on you.

Well, the port deal is crap, W needs to get his head out of his arse, and America needs to remember that 9/11 was the tip of the iceberg. The terrorists could plan worse. Take Houston or LA or even Miami. Nice big southern ports, population centers, and industry. Set off a nuke, at an unguarded, terrorist friendly port, and you cripple part of the US. Hit all the ports, you have collapse and anarchy. Hit Texas, and its miles and miles of ship channel, oil, chemical, and industrial facilities, that will make the Gulf Coast Katrina incapacity look like kid's play. The storm was not determined and hellbent on killing us. Terrorists are. George, think about that, for once!

A Little Justice, Better Later than Never

OK, as we know Hurricane Katrina sucked.

On the radio, I heard an interesting story. Older lady had a nice house in New Orleans, Kenner area, and she evacuated before Katrina hit. Her house got some flood damages, but most of her valuables were in her second floor area, which was not damaged. Back in October she was allowed to go back and check on her property. She was going to get out a satchel of jewelry and some antiques, she had stored and locked upstairs. Upon returning, she discovered her valuables were taken, locks shot off, and she had been looted. Sadly, she went back to her temporary residence empty handed.

Months, later, her insurance and flood policy folks are on the scene evaluating whether her home is salvagable or will need to be rebuilt. Water and sludge is being drained, out of a neighbor's pool, and her jewelry is found. Next to the jewelry and valuables was the dead looter. The looter apparently drowned after being weighted down by the shotgun he had, and the valuables in his arms at the time of the looting. Apparently greed was worth more than his life. Police also felt the looter was wading through flood waters, and did not notice the swimming pool drop off, which was submerged, until it was too late. Needless to say, some of the valuables, jewelry were saved. And the looter got what he deserved.

Sometimes justice takes a while.

Cheney's Gotta Gun

OK, no this is not a parody of an Aerosmith Song, this will have some humor, but also a point.

Let's compare two tragic events.

Dick Cheney accidentally fires a shotgun into the face of a lawyer (yeah punchline in a lawyer joke, but hey)
Ted Kennedy, drives drunk and veers off a bridge into Chappaquidduck River off Martha's Vineyard.

Cheney calls the cops and EMS immediately.
Ted Kennedy took 8 fuckin hours to report the car crash, oh and the girl trapped inside his car.

Cheney feels remorse and sadness for injuring his friend and guest.
Kennedy has yet to apologize or acknowledge his responsibility in killing his colleague and romantic interest, Mary Jo Kopechne.

Cheney gave a statement 3 days after the event.
Ted Kennedy has taken over 36 years and hasn't said shit.

Cheney fired birdshot in this story.
Teddy spewed bullshit in his story.

The lawyer lives.
Mary Jo is still dead.

Who's the bigger hypocrite here? And why oh why is one getting worse treatment than the other?

Could it be, whiners like David Gregory and Mark Knoller whining about Cheney getting off light. Hey Dave, Mark, when Cheney did that, it was an accident. We're pretty sure Teddy capitalized on a bad situation.

F-ck you very much, liberals.

Peace out!

FUNERAL CRASHERS: Jimmy Carter and a so-called Reverend Lowery

Well, well, well. Yet another funeral has been turned into another Democrapic hackjob roast. Yesterday, President George W Bush paid his respects as the Head of State for the widow of slain Civil Rights Leader Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King. Mrs. Coretta Scott King had just passed away. She was by no means a Bush backer, but was not such an adversary to condemn him to hell. Mrs. King was eulogized well by 2 former Presidents, Bush and Clinton. Did Clinton politicize Nixon's funeral? Or did anyone crash the Strom Thurmond services? Nope.

However, here's what one of Dr. King's contemporaries, the very elderly Rev. Joseph Lowery said.....

The outspoken Rev. Joseph Lowery, co-founder of Southern Christian Leadership Conference, ripped into President Bush during his short speech, ostensibly about the wife of Martin Luther King Jr.

"She extended Martin's message against poverty, racism and war. She deplored the terror inflicted by our smart bombs on missions way afar. We know now that there were no weapons of mass destruction over there," Lowery said.

The mostly black crowd applauded, then rose to its feet and cheered in a two-minute-long standing ovation.A closed-circuit television in the mega-church outside Atlanta showed the president smiling uncomfortably.

"But Coretta knew, and we know," Lowery continued, "That there are weapons of misdirection right down here," he said, nodding his head toward the row of presidents past and present. "For war, billions more, but no more for the poor!" The crowd again cheered wildly.

Wow, Dr. Lowery. Could you have lost the point of the I Have a Dream Speech anymore? Let's see. Hmmmm. Black home ownership went up since Bush and Clinton were in office. Blacks are in the Cabinet the Courts, and high ranking military officers. Wow, what time warp was this man stuck in? Very Christian and classy to rip a guy at a funeral, Reverend. Does I have a dream apply to everyone but Bush and the GOP? I guess so.

Rev, if there were no weapons of mass destruction, then what was Saddam killing of his own people with and others with? Truck exhausts? Nope, twas poison gas. And did the Israelis launch an air strike in 1981 as a fraternity prank? No, Iraq was building nukes and the Israelis put the kabbash on that. Lowery seems to be an expert on everything, except Christian living and history.

Oh and don't think we'd go without hearing from Jimmy Carter, a one termer and the crappiest presidents ever. Apparently Carter's anger over being a bad President appeared to be seeping out.

Former President Jimmy Carter later swung at Bush as well, not once but twice. As he talked about the Kings, he said: "It was difficult for them then personally with the civil liberties of both husband and wife violated as they became the target of secret government wiretaps." The crowd cheered as Bush, under fire for a secret wiretapping program he ordered after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, again smiled weakly.

Later, Carter said Hurricane Katrina showed that all are not yet equal in America.

Carter, Carter, Carter, you chimp. Funny weren't the DEMOCRATS the ones who wiretapped Dr. King, with J Edgar Hoover's FBI? Wasn't Bobby Kennedy the Attorney General then? Selective memory or senility is Carter's strategery. And Carter, you're not one to talk about safeguarding our country. Thanks for letting Iran get out of control, Mr. Peanut Brain!

FYI- Wiretapping is not a danger to anyone, if you're not plotting criminal and terrorism related acts. To quote Dick Cheney- If you're calling your Aunt Susie in Toledo, we're not gonna keep tapping your phone.

Oh yeah, Hurricane's prove inequality? No, rather the inept stupidity of Mayor Nagin, Governor Blanco, and the rest of the Louisiana Politicians. Hey Carter, weren't a lot of WHITE FOLKS killed along the entire Gulf Coast also? It wasn't just the Chocolate City that got reamed out. I mean, Nawlins was below sea level, you live in a bowl. Get flood insurance. If not, you're SOL.

And of course, these fallicies and comments get the cheers and response from the usual peanut gallery of malcontents. What are you mad about? You're in Georgia. You weren't hit by Hurricane Katrina. You're Governor is not an idiot. Unlike say Louisiana.

Could these two so-called Christians lose the point of I Have a Dream anymore than they did? I ain't perfect and I err, ALOT. However, isn't it bad when I see the crapulence?

Chew on that, liberals.

Also, do not politicize a funeral. It does you no good. Look how bad the Paul Wellstone funeral, aka Pep Rally went. 2002 Election went to the GOP, again. I wonder if this gross bit of buggery will backfire on the liberals. Sadly, I think it will. Well, not sadly that it will backfire. I wanna see some crash and burn. However, it's sad that Dr. King's widow was laid to rest in a less peaceful manner. I think Dr. King would be disappointed at some of the Funeral Crashers.

Mooselimb Rage and Hypocrisy

OK, let's get a few things out in the open.

First. I don't hate all Muslims, I just detest the extremists and terrorists. Yes we know not everyone is protesting, but the radical extremists seem to be the only ones speaking for the so-called Religion of Peace. They are keen to stir up worldwide riots over fricken cartoons, that are less offensive than the ones they sketch roasting the US, Israel, Christians, Jews, and anyone who is not a Wahabist or Shiite extremist. Til the majority gets its marbles out, and speaks their side, all of you get lumped in til you differentiate yourselves.

Second, the riots are blatant hypocrisy. Christians, Jews, and Hindus dare not riot if God is slandered and torn a new one by some college drop out or goat herder with a pen. Christians better not take incentive to dare defend themselves, or they will be called cooks. Too late, since they tore NBC a new one over Will and Grace and the Crucifixins episode, and The Book of John religious tear-down fest. And oh yes, Mel Gibson made that awful Passion of the Christ movie. Wait, where are those Christian extremists and terrorists that are soooo intolerant and such a violent lot? Oh yeah, they're at work and sometimes praying for everyone else for their benefit. How about them Jews? Surely the Zionists are behind this? No, they're busy picking up their relatives body parts after the latest suicide bus bombing or market massacre. Hindus? Buddhists? Nowhere to be found leading riots and slamming Islam. However, there is plenty of the Religion of Pieces out there demanding death and blood and fire, but claiming to be more tolerant and peaceful than everyone who IS NOT a mooselimb extremist. So, it's OK for them to riot, but not OK for everyone else to object to their censorship? That makes no sense.

Third, it is odd that the Europeans are getting gutsy and publishing the cartoons. Yes, some are being fired over it, but many are still exhibiting these cartoons. These are satire, editorials, more tame than the anti-Semitic drivel that comes out of the Middle East. And yes, nicer than the NY Times and Washington Post supposed op-eds. Denmark led the charge. And others, including fed up and pissed off Russia are joining in. Could it be the Russians are a prejudiced lot? Or could it be the years of Chechen mooselimb terrorism, theater and school massacres that finally did it? France is even joining in. France, the cheese eating surrender monkeys, must have gotten pissed after the hundreds of riots incited by extremist mullahs in France and all over Western Europe. How about Germany? If Europe is finally awake to the threat of the extremists, why not us?

There will be more, later.

Oh, Fourth, Iran is making a Holocaust cartoon contest. And no one's protesting that? Simon Wiesenthal would be rolling over in his grave, pissed off, at this arrogance the Religion of Pieces shows to all non-mooselimbs. Kristallnacht is back, and now the swastikas have been removed for the crescents and dark green head scarves of death. God help us if they get their Final Solution.

History is repeating itself. The Nazis warmed up with Der Sturmer, Iran is warming up with it's cartoons. And when someone dares challenge the extremists, they are slighted as malcontents, look at Winston Churchill and others warning of Hitler. Dare we repeat another world war? We're repeating doing nothing, like the 1930s. Dare we do nothing, again?

Tao of Jack Bauer

Off someone else's sight, can be found at http://blogs4bauer.blogspot.com/

Great list, keep em coming!

The Tao Of Jack BauerI think some of these were posted by my counterparts before, but they're still brilliant:

1. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Myers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
2. You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
3. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
4. Upon hearing that he was played by Keifer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
5. Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
6. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
7. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
8. Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
9. Every time you masturbate Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you masturbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
10. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
11. Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
12. Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
13. Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
14. Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in MiddleEastern men.
15. Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
16. Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alerted. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
17. When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer f*cking hates lemonade.
18. When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
19. Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
20. Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
21. Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
22. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better f**king do it.
23. The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
24. Jack Bauer can beat the gay out of Elton John.
25. No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a pussy" in a sentence and lived to tel...
26. People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
27. Jack Bauer makes onions cry.
28. It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.
29. The real reason the Army ditched the "Army of One"campaign? Jack Bauer sued for copy right infringement.
30. Jack Bauer named his cat 'Chuck Norris.' Why? Because He's a pussy.
31. Jack Bauer doesn't urinate or defecate. He secretes waste through his pores as two chemicals which can be combined to create napalm.
32. That cougar that stalked Kim was actually Jack Bauer's pet cat. Jack used his Beastmaster powers to keep an eye on Kim and to keep her in line through fear.
33. The only reason terrorists keep attacking LA is so they can meet Jack Bauer.
34. The ancient Chinese built the Great Wall of China not to repel the Mongols, but rather to repel Jack Bauer. It failed when he attacked over the Himalayas.
35. Chase wasn't actually in any danger from that terrorist virus. Jack Bauer just cut off his hand because that's how he warns all of Kim's boyfriends.
36. Jack Bauer creates an "airtight perimeter" by yelling at the air and calling it a pussy until
it gets its shit together and falls in line.
37. Jack Bauer parts LA traffic with his enormous penis. That's why he can reach anywhere in the city in the span of a commercial break.38. The reason CTU's superiors are called "Division" is because Jack Bauer broke their building in half in a fit of rage because they couldn't bring him a sandwich in 24 hours.
39. Jack Bauer actually finishes every mission in under five minutes. The 24 hours is just creative editing.
40. CTU stands for Jack F*cking Bauer.
41. God rested on the 7th day. Jack Bauer will be spending his 7th day working his usual triple shift without sleep. Lazy ass God.
42. Jack Bauer would have gotten the ring to Mordor in 24 hours.43. Jack Bauer knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
44. Once a year, Jack Bauer kills and eats an entire blue whale. This is why he is never seen having lunch.
45. If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

What Would Jack Bauer Do?

For those of you who know, 24 is my favorite TV show. Some of you know that there is a site of Chuck Norris Facts and wisdom. However, isn't it about time we had one for Jack Bauer.

The nice folks at http://www.nicedoggie.net/2006/ think this is a good idea also.

Read some of the stuff brought up here, and this blog.....

http://rightwingnuthouse.com/archives/2006/01/30/carnival-of-the-clueless-31-the-what-would-jack-bauer-do-edition/

And here....

http://blogs4bauer.blogspot.com/

http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topsixty

Coretta Scott King, RIP, 78

Yesterday there was the sad passing of Coretta Scott King, widow of the slain minister and civil rights champion, The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King. RIP, Mrs. King.

Black Tuesday for the Liberals

First, Samuel Alito was voted in as the next Associate Supreme Court Justice and replacement for Sandra Day O' Connor. Wish they'd have replaced Gindsberg, but life's not perfect. Despite the 58-42 vote, a fillibuster was avoided. And even Old Grand Dragon Robert Byrd voted in Alito. SPANK!

Second, Alito was sworn in. Now the court is back in a conservative slant, and hopefully the damage the libs have done can be mitigated.

Third, Bush gave a good state of the Union Address. Even Virginia Governor Crane's droning and counterpoint post-speech could not save the Democrat Titanic from taking on more water.

Fourth, Cindy Sheehan was hauled out of the House Chamber, in cuffs, by US Secret Service. Peace Mom wasn't acting very peaceful if she had to be cuffed for her rudeness.

Yes, Black Tuesday was a black day for the liberals, but a good day for America.

Good luck and good day America!