Not So Young But Angry Conservatives Unite

Getting sick of the progressively worse slant and obvious bias of the media? Got booted out of other sites for offending too many liberals? Make this your home. If you SPAM here, you're gone. Trolling? Gone. Insult other posters I agree with. Gone. Get the pic. Private sanctum, private rules. No Fairness Doctrine and PC wussiness tolerated here..... ECCLESIASTES 10:2- The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the left.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


OK, here's what happened last night, between 12am and 1 am (tick tock, tick tock)

Audrey is at the airport and hugs Daddy Heller, aka Badass Secretary Heller.
Hugs and kisses- awwwwwwwwww.

Meanwhile Logan calls Frau Blucher and tells her SWAT goons to stand down so his military can take down, ahem, take care of, shoot! Dispatch. Oh heck, kill Bauer. Novick overhears this and is suspicious. Frau Blucher says this is BS. DHS Dick grins and says its fine. Even VP Martial Law says this is all very odd.

Back to Casablanca, Audrey talks to dad and he protests- What recording? The Duke Lacrosse Team? The President incompetent? I thought that was limited to Democrats? Sheeyit, well now I gotta come out of the shadows and use my thumb of death on him. Sweeeet.
Jack arrives to meet his ole bud Heller, who uses the thumb on pain on Jack. Wow! An old guy took down Jack Bauer, frickin sweet! I thought it was gonna be Chuck Norris who could do that. Heller has Jack and Audrey tied up, kinky. But wants them quiet so he can either share a Brokeback moment with Logan or use the thumb of death on LimpDick Nixon also. Heller's off and Jack and Audrey are bound together with a lone sentry watching and munching on popcorn- this is cool!

Back at CTU- Frau Blucher and DHS Dick are planning a meeting to see if Audrey is scanning the net at work, and of course helping Jack. Schizo Redhead chick helps. Chloe is set up, and inadvertently helps DHS find Jack. Blucher (neighs) calls Chloe in for a meeting with Bob and Bob. Chloe protests- You can't fire me! My job is to manage the goddang customers! I'm good with people can't you see that! So DHS uses his Jump To Conclusions Mat and gets Chloe put into solitary. Chloe and DHS Dick go at it, she touches his shoulder- best thrill he's gotten ever, but ganks his security card. So, she walks out, past Bill Lumberg and Milton and leaves Initech, aka CTU.

Heller is driving to the Presidential Compound and calls Duke at GI Joe. Duke says there is no orders for him to hunt down Bauer. Heller guns it and runs down Frankenstein in a Death Race fashion headin to Brokedick Mountain.

Meanwhile Henderson is talking with Logan, who is now cornered by Cheney Clone Novick. Novick hasn't gotten his sleep or his ring back, so Saruman is pissed. Novick dares to challenge LimpDick, but LD brushes him off. Novick goes back for either a catnap or to get a Glock. Martha asks about the noise and she rubs up against Red Pierce. Awwww. Logan saw this. How dare someone rub up on Pat, ahem, Martha like that! He must die!

Meanwhile Jack and Audrey rub up and Jack burns his wrist but gets out of the gladlock handcuffs dispatching popcorn boy- wow this is a free show! OW! My teeth! Thud.

Chloe sneaks out and drives to Buchanan, who also has Shaft Jr. staying with him. No one dares asks, where the hell is Cola at? Where is Curtis anyway? Sheesh, major plothole.

Meanwhile Dr Evil, aka President Logan, tells Secretary Heller this is all about oil and Halliburton. Heller yells, "Suck it up and drive a hybrid you pussy!" Logan yells back, "I hate hybrids, ever since Mr. Broslovsky, Kyle's Dad got one, he's been a dick! I am not a dick! I will drive my gas guzzlin SUV, and will make sure gas is cheap for it, so screw! Screw the spotted owl! And screw those twits who won't let me drill in ANWR!" Heller is about to slap him, when the goon squad walks in. But where's Pierce at? And where is Novick at?

Jack and Audrey get free just in time for Jack to shoot down and blow up half of Roboslug's goons. But Roboslug gets Audrey and cuts an atery and will let Audrey die, if Jack doesn't give up the Lacrosse Team Tape. Jack gives in. DAMN HIM! Jack didn't see SPEED, which is a shame. Shooting Audrey would have freaked out Henderson and got him distracted for a while and to keep the recording! Chuck Norris wouldn't have let that happen!

Heller manages to tell off Logan and threatens to expose his use of Viagra. Logan says, what tape, as Roboslug calls him. Logan goes AHA! And Heller leaves pissed, but no doubt has an extra ace up his sleeve.

Meanwhile Martha meets Red by the Gazeebo, kicking out Wolfgang and the VonTrapp Daughter. Red's phone is ringing, but where is Red?

To be continued......


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