Not So Young But Angry Conservatives Unite

Getting sick of the progressively worse slant and obvious bias of the media? Got booted out of other sites for offending too many liberals? Make this your home. If you SPAM here, you're gone. Trolling? Gone. Insult other posters I agree with. Gone. Get the pic. Private sanctum, private rules. No Fairness Doctrine and PC wussiness tolerated here..... ECCLESIASTES 10:2- The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the left.

Monday, December 05, 2005

CHRISTMAS RANT 2

OK, you know what grinds my gears. The nitpickers and sh-tkickers who tear apart Christmas. This includes, the misers, the Christmas haters, the morons who want all holidays banned because their lives suck and they wanna see everyone else as miserable as they are, get the picture????

First, we know that December 25, is not the real day Christmas was celebrated. We know when Joseph and Mary went to Bethlehem for the census, it was tax time, and it was the pre-modern time of filing before the 15th. At the time, Mary was with child. And between the Jewish, Roman, and Gregorian calendars, we can only guess that the real date was in the spring. You date and fact types, you're smart, you're tops in your fantasy world. We get it. Now, shut the f-ck up, OK?

Second, getting cynical doesn't make the holidays good for anyone. For those of you complaining that Christmas is too commercialized and that the stores push an agenda, don't shop. Don't go outside your little cave and just sit and plot like the Unibomber. Make sure, when you try explosives, to blow yourself up and rid the world of your poison. You wanna avoid Christmas, it's easy. Move to Cuba or Iran.

Third, to those of you who enjoy tearing into the Virgin Birth, let me say this. Sometimes, there's crap you cannot understand and never will, despite your multiple degrees, your pompous attitude, and your condescending stance. Take a nice cup of Shut The Hell Up. There is a reason some crap is left unexplained, why you're not God (and boy are we thankful for that), and why you and Andy Richter do not Control The Universe. You believe in nothing, you stand for nothing, and when you die, you're gonna spend an eternity with nothing. No God, no grace, nyet. Keep up your crap, but don't you dare tear anyone else down.

Fourth, those of you who say Christmas music hearts your ears and you never want to hear Happy Holidays let alone Merry Christmas, STFU. Just STFU for good, to all haters of the holidays. Your Christmas probably sucked because you pissed off Santa. You were a greedy little f-ball, and even the Virgin Mary was ready to pistol whip you and set your d(bleep)k on fire! We may be wishing you a Merry Christmas, but boy do we wanna see Rudolph and the reindeer take a dump on you and your new car, Mr. Late drinking, ponytail sporting, philosophizing, overanalytical, sneering, cynical, Seinfeld on crack, wannabe.

Fifth, WTF are Holiday Trees? We had Christmas trees when I was a kid, and for years and years before that! Which holiday are the spruces pines for? Which birth are those trees used for? Hmmmmm. And why oh why did Martin Luther and the German Christians use that pagan tree and use it for Christianity? Because, IT WAS FRICKIN CHRISTMAS! Christmas! CHRIST-MAS, Christmas! I mean what are the other Holiday Trees? The Hanukah shrub? Kwanza Bonsai? Ramadan tree stump tied to a claymore? What?

OK, rants over for now.

Enjoy!

23 Comments:

  • At 10:03 AM, Blogger leftcoastmark said…

    Nick,

    Keep on ranting! And by the way ... MERRY CHRISTMAS.

     
  • At 10:26 AM, Blogger Lady Heather said…

    Right on, TP!

    And you're welcome for the dating tips I posted on my blog. (that you asked me for. ;) )

     
  • At 11:31 AM, Blogger Kevin said…

    Third, to those of you who enjoy tearing into the Virgin Birth, let me say this. Sometimes, there's crap you cannot understand and never will...

    That's a good point Nick. And for everyone else, sometimes there's crap that never happened, and never will.

    ..perhaps a 'splash conception'?

     
  • At 12:30 PM, Blogger NDwalters said…

    Starting a pissin contest, Kev? Very out of character.

    LH, I read em, thanks. Sorry, no e-mail, been busier than a one-legged man in an arse-kickin contest.

     
  • At 2:34 PM, Blogger owdbob said…

    I see a think I see a bitter liberal IVAN. Make nice or SANTA won't bring you batteries for your Joy Stick.
    Maybe you should check out lady heathers dating tip. They help you be nice.

     
  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger owdbob said…

    I guess BIG DICKS blog wasn't what KY thought it was.
    Thanks for the Link NICK. ROFLMAO

     
  • At 3:23 PM, Blogger Kevin said…

    I thought Dick's blog was great.

    It was like an intelligent and spell-checked version of something bob might write.

     
  • At 5:23 PM, Blogger owdbob said…

    Oh you changed your mind about me Komrade ! SWEET
    Merry Christmas ; )

     
  • At 10:32 PM, Blogger Kevin said…

    I sure did bob!

    You're a swell guy. Maybe you can get me some new batteries for my joy stick? ...or perhaps theres an even better solution... ;)

     
  • At 9:22 AM, Blogger Ranando said…

    Kevin,

    Before you can get new Batteries, Butt Plug Bob will need to pull that JoyStick out of his/her a--!

     
  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger owdbob said…

    Is that a picture of you Rudolf O?
    Your Right shoes untied! You either hate the right that much, or your MA MA didn't tie them right before she sent you out to play. She may be trying to kill you' can't blame her. : )
    Put the mask back on please!
    well at least we had a look at the true face of a COMMUNIST !
    UGLY AINT IT FOLKS ?

     
  • At 11:17 AM, Blogger Ranando said…

    That's me Butt Plug.

    I'm Ranando and your not!

    I standing here right now at my Lake Front Home in Tahoe looking at the Lake. Fire in the fireplace, life is good.

    What are you doing right now Butt Plug?

     
  • At 11:44 AM, Blogger Kevin said…

    I think Butt-Plug-Bob is anxiously trying to find me some batteries now that I threw the idea out there.

    What say you Butt-Plug-Bob? Have you found me a pair of double As yet?

     
  • At 1:00 PM, Blogger owdbob said…

    Well I just sent a E mails
    Thanks for the picture.
    FBI Washington
    Washington Metropolitan Field Office
    601 4th Street, N.W.
    Washington, D.C. 20535-0002
    washingtondc.fbi.gov
    (202) 278-2000

    Boy I'm glad I'm not Rudolf O

    MERRY CHRISTMAS Girls!

     
  • At 1:51 PM, Blogger Ranando said…

    Hey Butt Plug,

    I am the FBI!

    I'm Ranando and your not.......

     
  • At 2:08 PM, Blogger Kevin said…

    Dearest Butt-Plug-Bob,

    I just made a quick call to (202) 278-2000.

    They assured me you'll have your joy stick batteries in time for xmas.

    In the meanwhile, they suggested that you simply remove the stiff plug from your anus and just patiently wait for your xmas package. ...if you can.

     
  • At 9:13 PM, Blogger chefwes said…

    Kevin is inconsequential, and ranando is, as usual, an ass.... take another pill rannyboy!!!
    I'm ChefWes... and you're NOT! Bite me, asshole!

     
  • At 11:18 PM, Blogger chefwes said…

    rancidboy,
    What happened to your blog listing nick and myself, among others, as "chickenwings" (as I recall was your favorite phrase)? I used that as a source of pride, when pointing out your stupidity to friends and family!
    Yes, sad to say, I actually pointed friends and family to a leftist, socialistic, islamofascist, God-hating, liberal freaks website,for being prominently named as being among his enemies, as a source of pride!
    What can one do??? LOL
    Don't like it? Oh well, I'm ChefWes and You're NOT!
    Bite me maggot!

     
  • At 11:12 AM, Blogger Kevin said…

    oh pity - chef is whining again...

     
  • At 2:43 PM, Blogger chefwes said…

    whining?
    This from the man who has never even won a single point in any of our "debates"? This from a man who has admitted his defeat and shortcomings in every meaningful conversation we have had?
    F**k Off, Kevin,
    I have no use for you

     
  • At 11:48 PM, Blogger Kevin said…

    Well thats rich. I wasn't aware you kept count - but I pretty sure I had plenty of 'winning' points.

    Ohhh - I know what you meant. Like when you'd stop arguing and just bring Jesus or God into the mix - thus not allowing me to contradict what you said -- since its NOT REAL. I gotcha.

    And admitting defeats and shortcomings - sure - all of the time. I'm not always right - but your insistance that you always are negates it's own assertion doesnt it? =]

    And finally. I still can't help but find this --> F**k <-- cute. Cute like I'd pat you on the head and say awwwwww cute.

    I just want someone to explain that to me. Just once. Does it somehow confuse the reader into not knowing what it is? I read it as FUCK. Was that right? If it is, why don't you just have the cajones to say FUCK?

     
  • At 4:19 PM, Blogger chefwes said…

    You are more than welcome to try "patting me on the head" little man, any time you wish, go ahead, feel free to try.

     
  • At 1:30 AM, Blogger Kevin said…

    ok :p

     

Post a Comment

<< Home