If Zell and Janeane ever....
If these two ever tried to debate or argue, the sparks would fly, and I'd have to DVR that stuff!
Here's what an altercation between Janeane Garofalo and Senator Zell Miller would run like:
(Janeane and Zell are on opposite sides of a political rountable with Chris Matthews and the fun begins)
JANEANE: Well thank you for having me Chris. It's nice to know real networks air real news, unlike the Goebbels clones at Faux News.
ZELL: For the love of God, give me a break. You don't know what you're talking about. Nazi, Nazi, Nazi, Nazi. Jesus Lord if you only knew what they were really like...
JANEANE: I do know what they are, SENATOR! They are here! They are running the America I love into the ground! They are liars and you are a collaborator with them! I hope they have a Nuremberg for you!
ZELL:(shaking head in disgust) Thank God you ain't my child or grandchild, I would slap you across the face for that tone.
JANEANE: What tone, grandpa? This is how aggressive and enlightened women talk! Not the barefoot, pregnant, and ignorant inbreeders your kind like!
ZELL: Barefoot, no. She wears shoes, you tramp. Pregnant, not in years, but proudly the mother of several children. Ignorant? Absolutely not, the only one ignorant seems to be you, Janeane.
JANEANE: Yeah Right! What's the topic Chris?!?
CHRIS: Keep me the hell out of this, Janeane. And I wouldn't piss of Zell, too much....
ZELL: WHAT DID YOU SAY CHRIS?
CHRIS: (cowering behind chair) Nothing, Mister Senator Miller, sir.
ZELL: DAMN RIGHT! Now sit down, boy. What's the topic anyway?
CHRIS: Bolton is appointed, and the Democrats are mad.
JANEANE: You're damn right we're mad! Bush Der Fuhrer has shredded the Constitution by doing this! in breech of....
ZELL: You can't even name the provision can you? This is why I'm Senator and Former Governor and you're, WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE...
JANEANE: EXCUSE ME! Who do you think you are? I know the Constitution!
ZELL: Well fire away, Dash!
JANEANE: It's um article, Article um....
ZELL: There's no Article Um, dear.
JANEANE: SHUT UP! I KNOW IT.
ZELL: No you don't! Article II, Sec. 2- Judicial and Presidential Powers- The President shall have power to fill up all vacancies that may happen durin the recess of Senate, by granting commissions which shall expire at the End of their next session. In short, Bush acted legally, and you liberals WILL HAVE to vote up or down at the end of NEXT SESSION.
JANEANE: You are such a liar! Fine, he's within power, but not within moral authority!
ZELL: He is too, your friend Bill Clinton made over 140 appointments during recess. FDR made appointments, Bush Sr. and Reagan also....
JANEANE: Yeah they lied and coerced..
ZELL: Will you HUSH UP and not interrupt. No wonder you're single! Where the hell was I, Chris?
CHRIS: Well, she told you they lied and you were on appointments before that, Senator Miller.
ZELL: Thanks. A little slow on the response, Chrissy. (cracking knuckles, muting- I'm Gonna kick your ass later!)
JANEANE: Geez, the Southerner is at it again....
ZELL: That's it! I've been nice too damn long! You disgust me, Janeane! Your AIR AMERICA, Pravda, Nazi Network makes me throw up! Your appearance makes me pray for blindness! And your voice makes any normal man's ears bleed, yet somehow does not anger canines! You are a liberal dog of a woman. You have no manners! No facts to back up your BS! And you have no kids! That you know of. In short, I may be old enough to be your grandfather, but this supposed Old Collaborator just whupped your ass on TV! Well, whoever watches this network anymore....(Janeane crying)
CHRIS: Now, Senator, that's NOT fai....(Miller punches him out. Chris falls)
ZELL: That's for your liar comment in 2004, you asshole! Janeane, you wanna piece of this also?(Janeane runs off screaming in tears).
This is false, but damn well worth the price of a fleeting though.
Here's what an altercation between Janeane Garofalo and Senator Zell Miller would run like:
(Janeane and Zell are on opposite sides of a political rountable with Chris Matthews and the fun begins)
JANEANE: Well thank you for having me Chris. It's nice to know real networks air real news, unlike the Goebbels clones at Faux News.
ZELL: For the love of God, give me a break. You don't know what you're talking about. Nazi, Nazi, Nazi, Nazi. Jesus Lord if you only knew what they were really like...
JANEANE: I do know what they are, SENATOR! They are here! They are running the America I love into the ground! They are liars and you are a collaborator with them! I hope they have a Nuremberg for you!
ZELL:(shaking head in disgust) Thank God you ain't my child or grandchild, I would slap you across the face for that tone.
JANEANE: What tone, grandpa? This is how aggressive and enlightened women talk! Not the barefoot, pregnant, and ignorant inbreeders your kind like!
ZELL: Barefoot, no. She wears shoes, you tramp. Pregnant, not in years, but proudly the mother of several children. Ignorant? Absolutely not, the only one ignorant seems to be you, Janeane.
JANEANE: Yeah Right! What's the topic Chris?!?
CHRIS: Keep me the hell out of this, Janeane. And I wouldn't piss of Zell, too much....
ZELL: WHAT DID YOU SAY CHRIS?
CHRIS: (cowering behind chair) Nothing, Mister Senator Miller, sir.
ZELL: DAMN RIGHT! Now sit down, boy. What's the topic anyway?
CHRIS: Bolton is appointed, and the Democrats are mad.
JANEANE: You're damn right we're mad! Bush Der Fuhrer has shredded the Constitution by doing this! in breech of....
ZELL: You can't even name the provision can you? This is why I'm Senator and Former Governor and you're, WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE...
JANEANE: EXCUSE ME! Who do you think you are? I know the Constitution!
ZELL: Well fire away, Dash!
JANEANE: It's um article, Article um....
ZELL: There's no Article Um, dear.
JANEANE: SHUT UP! I KNOW IT.
ZELL: No you don't! Article II, Sec. 2- Judicial and Presidential Powers- The President shall have power to fill up all vacancies that may happen durin the recess of Senate, by granting commissions which shall expire at the End of their next session. In short, Bush acted legally, and you liberals WILL HAVE to vote up or down at the end of NEXT SESSION.
JANEANE: You are such a liar! Fine, he's within power, but not within moral authority!
ZELL: He is too, your friend Bill Clinton made over 140 appointments during recess. FDR made appointments, Bush Sr. and Reagan also....
JANEANE: Yeah they lied and coerced..
ZELL: Will you HUSH UP and not interrupt. No wonder you're single! Where the hell was I, Chris?
CHRIS: Well, she told you they lied and you were on appointments before that, Senator Miller.
ZELL: Thanks. A little slow on the response, Chrissy. (cracking knuckles, muting- I'm Gonna kick your ass later!)
JANEANE: Geez, the Southerner is at it again....
ZELL: That's it! I've been nice too damn long! You disgust me, Janeane! Your AIR AMERICA, Pravda, Nazi Network makes me throw up! Your appearance makes me pray for blindness! And your voice makes any normal man's ears bleed, yet somehow does not anger canines! You are a liberal dog of a woman. You have no manners! No facts to back up your BS! And you have no kids! That you know of. In short, I may be old enough to be your grandfather, but this supposed Old Collaborator just whupped your ass on TV! Well, whoever watches this network anymore....(Janeane crying)
CHRIS: Now, Senator, that's NOT fai....(Miller punches him out. Chris falls)
ZELL: That's for your liar comment in 2004, you asshole! Janeane, you wanna piece of this also?(Janeane runs off screaming in tears).
This is false, but damn well worth the price of a fleeting though.
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