Not So Young But Angry Conservatives Unite

Charlton Heston, 1924-2008, RIP sir....

2008-04-06T15:36:00.000-07:00

RIP Mr. Heston. A true class act of an actor and a heck of an idividual.....

Charlton Heston (October 4, 1923 – April 5, 2008) was an American Academy Award-winning film actor.

Heston is known for playing heroic roles, such as Moses in The Ten Commandments, Colonel George Taylor in Planet of the Apes and Judah Ben-Hur in Ben-Hur. Early in his career, he was one of a handful of Hollywood actors to speak out against racism and was active in the civil rights movement. During the latter part of his movie career, he starred in films such as The Omega Man and Soylent Green, which have a strong environmental message. However, he later became known for conservative politics and was president of the National Rifle Association from 1998 to 2003.-courtesy of Wikipedia...

Oddly enough, he was never divorced and was married for over 64 years to the same wife, Lydia. A pro-life Christian, and opponent of the Vietnam War, he wasn't a party shill, he was an American, period. He was US Marine who served in WWII, and was given the Presidential Medal of Freedom a few years back. Also, he narrated many a prologue for a Biblical or epic movie later in life. And yes, he narrated the Bible on CD and cassette (if those still exist).

Prayers be to Mrs. Heston and the rest of the Heston family.

We'll miss you, sir. See you up there.

Frederick Doyle Bacon, 1923-2008

2008-03-02T15:01:00.000-08:00

Grandad went to the Lord this past Saturday March 1, 2008. RIP, Grandad. Thanks all for any prayers and whatnot.

Grandpa Doyle, Family Prayers

2008-02-28T05:53:00.000-08:00

On a personal note. I will be visiting my grandad this weekend in Tulsa. He's got a few weeks left. A month or so, tops. So, pray for his time left, for a minimum of pain. He also wants to go with some dignity, which is why he's chosen home care and being around family and not in a nursing home with strangers. Doyle is his name. He's 85, and if he makes it, turns 86 at the end of March. However, he had a second massive stroke last year which marred any progress he made from his 2005 first and debilitating stroke. I think, suspect, he is tired of not being a full man. He is one of the last of 8 or 9 kids, in his fam, and was one of the youngest. So, he may be ready to be reunited with his family. However, he is hanging in to see the rest of us, here, for a while. He is a shadow of himself, but I will see him soon. It maybe for the last time, until my own passing comes. So, pray for him and his state, that he can recognize us. Pray for my aunt and grandmother as they head up and help with the care and have done so since 2005. Pray for my mom, cousins, sister, etc. We're a Christian group, not perfect, but we're trying to make sense and reconcile this. It's hard to be certain of God, when someone we know dies, yet the body has only so much time and endurance here. Pray for me as I drive up there. Texas and Oklahoman drivers, good God. Well, I'll let you all know how it goes. Off to work I go. Thanks.

Who Am I Voting For?

2008-02-28T05:38:00.000-08:00

Well, it would be easy to say I would be pidgeon holed as nothing but a Republican goose stepper. However, while I may vote for McCain, I do so with reservations, and am not necessarily a registered GOP member, not for a while.

Why?

First off, the GOP has lost any guts in making themselves known for what is right. They'd rather cut what is important and save what is mediocre for compromise and so-called legacies. Reagan made some compromises, but he was more known for his party battling. The current President, came in a lion, but is now leaving a scratched and weary cat. Bush got the job in a crappy time in human history, but some more backbone from him and other GOP leaders could have been better. So, while I am moderate in some issues, it may be a bone of contention on McCain being in on infighting.

Second, McCain, while he's been advocating some fiscal conservatism, is going with those who would not. Let's face it, War on Terror aside, the GOP has spent more than the Democrats have in nearly 40 years (that's including Vietnam, Great Society, the Clinton Healthcare experiment...) A little restraint on the purse strings, boys, so we can keep the dollar from plummeting, please. I'm not saying the sky is falling, but there's no need to fuel the fire ot set the stage. GOP, clean house, now.

Third, McCain himself. I am for the man, since he did fight and endure torture in Vietnam. He's a long serving Senator. However, McCain has some iffy tendencies. First, his age may be a factor. If he got into office, he'd be older than Reagan or Ike when they took office. So, he may have only so much long, which would make his Vice President a key and important figure. Second, he is hesitant on interrogation terrorists by whatever means necessary. I understand his experience in Nam, waterboarding, beatings, etc. However, Mr. McCain, the guys we're holding ARE NOT captured POWs. They would never sign the Hague, Geneva, other accords. They WILL use torture, when we are hesitant. I do not advocate sadism, but to use the ticking bomb scenario, get someone to talk and stop the imminent problem. Better to apologize for acting, than regret not acting. McCain would no doubt delegate others to this task. McCain is HOWEVER a strong supporter of the US military and would not gut it, like others would. He has supported our troops, but has been critical on the handling of Iraq after Mission Accomplished was announced. Maybe not so much accomplished, yet. McCain has my vote on that. McCain being pro-choice, is not something I care for, but that's someone else's right they will use no doubt (not that I am for more of a generation being aborted for the comforts of the already living). There's his fling with a lobbyist. Well, infidelity is not making me love McCain. He gets my vote overall, but only by a whisker.

Now, I'm NOT even considering Hillary. She was in charge for 8 years and that's enough. Seriously, she has flip flopped on positions. And has dodged many a question in debates. Thank you Tim Russert for showing her up. Also, Hillary while she promised much for New York, failed to deliver. Who wants that track record in the White House?

Obama? No. And not because of the militant Muslim rumors. Not just that. Rather, he's not even completed 1 term in the Senate and is running. Most candidates have held their office or position for a good while, at least one term or tenure. Obama, sorry, you may have to wait. Obama is a well spoken man. However, I do take issue with him NOT reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, nor be willing to wear his flag without shame. Too many questions, too few answers from Mr. Obama.

McCain will get my vote, but not with the enthusiasm I had for others. I don't do so as GOP, but rather an independent picking the lesser of 2 not so hot options. One being blah. The other being bad. I choose blah.

William F Buckley 1926-2008

2008-02-28T05:33:00.000-08:00

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120412923043097003.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

As you may know, I've taken hiatus from here, due to family and other commitments. However, I'm back.

First off, Mr. Buckley, RIP. William F Buckley, agree with him or not, was highly influential on the conservative movement that transformed then was discarded by the Republicans. Buckley, a long time foil of Gore Vidal and other progressives, was a force to be reckoned with by some. Some will rejoice in his death, no doubt. Some will mourn. However, while I do mark his passing, he did profess God and now he is with God. Buckley was very very merciless in attacks on liberals, but he also had unkind words and what he hoped was constructive criticism for conservatives who were mucking around. Mr. Buckley was not always Reagan's biggest cheerleader, but did pay respects to Ronald W Reagan in 2004, and was a powerful voice as the country changed hands from Republicans to Democrats. Mr. Buckley's conservatism does live on through the National Review, and has no doubt been carried to other areas. You fought the good fight sir, so enjoy your well earned rest.

Nick

Veterans Day

2007-11-11T19:44:00.001-08:00

To those who have served, and family members and friends of veterans of past and present conflicts....

On November 11th, 1918, at 11:00 am, 1100 hours, Imperial Germany signed a formal armistice (cease fire) ending World War I, against the Allies. That day was embronzed in the early 1920s as Veterans Day, and was primarily for The Great War veterans, doughboys. But, after WWII, Korea, and before Vietnam, Congress passed an act recognizing November 11th, as Veterans Day for ALL American Veterans of ALL Conflicts.Thank you Veterans for you sacrifices and ensuring our freedoms, though they are taken for granted. God Bless your well earned rest, old vets. God Be with current personnel, serving in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere against enemies of the Free World.Thank you gents, and ladies.

.
'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.' - Matthew 5: 9

Achmed The Terrorist

2007-11-07T19:31:00.000-08:00

Holy Frickin Crap, this is funny!

Thank you You Tube! Thank you! Jeff Durham, you rock!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go

A Not so Quick Response to a Critic

2007-10-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

Admin said...
I thought I'd leave you a quick post since it doesn't look like you get much traffic these days ND.I have some suspicion as to why, but I'll keep that to myself for the moment.I don't think people have forgotten what happened 6 years ago, and it's unlikely that they will. However, I'd encourage you to read through your blog.

Read my blog? Well, gee, I haven't done so, due to my new niece, lots of work, ill grandad, and just life......

I know you've got a few years of history on it now. Take a look at what the arguments have been regarding everything this administration has said/done/etc.I think you'll find that even some of the most hard-nose Bush supporters have finally conceded that we've approached this the wrong way.

Wrong Way? And what's the right way, do elaborate. Wrong to hit an enemy so they don't kill? Wrong to stop genocide? Kurds would agree. Wrong to say, I dunno, remove a dictator or two or three? No, most hard nose Bushies have conceded due to the illegal invasion hitting here, and him allowing the Congress to micromanage, undermine, and basically sabotage our troops and their efforts overseas. Jack Murtha, Dick Durbin, and others come to mind. I won't defend all Dub has done, but let's not toss out everything for sack of you being right. Just my own two cents here......

...that the war was based upon fabrications at very best. ...that having absolute power is not what the executive branch is about. ...

Fabrications? Really? So did the Brits fabricate their intel? Were the Egyptians and Jordanians wrong in alerting us of the threat of chemical and bio weapons? Wow, could they have been in on this also? Egypt and Jordan both warned against massive deployment by the Coalition, but had the same warnings and assessments that Dr. Blix and Al Beradi had. Blix was certain there were weapons, then said there were none. Hans, if you give someone 12 years they can hide or spirit away anything. Also, Iraq is BIG, there's lots of areas to hid stuff. Also, what did Saddam kill those Kurds with? And why is everyone in Kuwait still with a gas mask to this day? I doubt WMDS are fabricated, rather we ought to have waited for one to go off apparently......

Executive Power? Clinton exercised plenty of it, let's not forget. Pardons, gag orders on testimonies during the impeachment, claiming his own privileges, and firing more federal attorneys than Bush 41 and Dub combined. Some here, not saying you, but some thought Clinton being king was fine. But, as long the king is not outside the DNC, apparently. Again, not you.... others say this.

etc, etc.I'm also fairly certain that you sit in a VERY small minority if you somehow think we should even CONSIDER using force against Iran. Not only would this be a political mistake, we would lose - outright. And not like we're losing in Iraq, we'd really be losing.Hope some more people start getting back on here for ya.

Alright, so we just wait for good ole Achmeddemonjob to fire off nukes and take out them pesky Jews, don't we? Since Israel just starts every f-in war, and since Christ, they're to blame? Sounds ludicrous and divisive. Those are the sounds of many who say don't hit Iran, don't do a thing. If the French and Germans, known backbiters, are clammoring for something beyond UN Sanctions, then how about the other Superpower? No, I don't mean China. I mean the US.

And how do you know we would lose? What military prowse and expertise is there that has told you this? Are you fearful we'll expand Iraq's War into Iran? Well, sorry, but Iran has aided the terrorists, they've sent weapons into Iraq, and in fact their troops are fighting US and British troops in some border skirmishes. Yeah, let's wait and see. Back in December 1944, the troops sat down, waited and relaxed, then boom, a massive attack hit, and it took close to a month and a half ro recover from the Bulge.

Different times and wars, yes, but waiting and complacency did more to spurn casualties than stop it. I don't want war, I'm sick of it, but Iran with ICBMS, and their President threatening to off the US, Israel, Britain, France, etc.... but not Russia- good ole arms broker to Iran, cannot be ignored. But, right now, it's a hold pattern and we have to play Missile Crisis, and hope Iran blinks. I hope you're right that this can be resolved without a war, or maybe Iran may have a sudden uprising against the mullahs and the Revolutionary Guard led by Ahmedenajad.

Thanks for some of the criticism, but let's not split hairs here. And please, don't tell me I'm in the minority. Remember, I did say Ole G Dub is not my favorite right now. However, let's not forget some stuff has gone right. Don't look for the wrong all the time. Just my own retort.

Also, if I'm in the minority, I wants some gubment cheese, and some special consideration. Actually, I won't get gubment cheese. Seeing how the new order will go, it's gonna be queso and flan....

5 Years Ago

2007-10-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

Well, 5 years ago, Al Qaeda hit Bali in Indonesia, killing 202 people, and maiming hundreds more. I doubt this will get as much press as Al Gore, but hey, it's just terrorism. It's just unarmed people getting blown to pieces while on vacation.....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071012/wl_afp/indonesiaaustraliaattacksbali_071012081154

The fifth anniversary follows a decision by the Indonesian Supreme Court in August to reject an appeal by three key bombers against their death sentence.
The men -- who have shown no remorse -- have reportedly decided not to seek clemency from the president, their last hope of avoiding the firing squad.
The bombings shocked the world, but were not the last -- a triple suicide bombing in 2005 in Bali, also blamed on key JI members, killed 20 people.
Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer said that Indonesia had been successful in curbing Jemaah Islamiyah since the bombings and he praised other Asian countries for also improving security in the region.

No remorse from the Religion of Peace and Tolerance, but thank God Indonesia is set to remove these scum from society.

This is what some in the world think we can sit and drink tea and negotiate with. People who yell boom in court, to taunt witnesses, survivors and the victims next of kin. I think most people know that this type of thing cannot be talked out or even ignored.

Fight these bastards there, or expect em to take their war to here.

Nobel Prize For Piece of Sh.....

2007-10-12T05:05:00.000-07:00

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20071012/D8S7KOB82.html

Oh Great, now that Al Gore has won the Nobel Peace Prize, we'll never have any hope of him just shutting up. Gore will now be bellowing and huffing and puffing, without Tipper for a change, and of course about global warming. The same Gore who got an Oscar for Power Point. Hey, I bet I can get an Oscar if I do a power point and include phrases like America is to blame, technology is evil, Kyoto Accord, and Bush's fault, also. Back to Gore's Peace prize. Argh. I bet old Alfred Nobel is perplexed to see the Prize given to someone who DID NOT end a war, or fight hunger or landmines or any of that. Of course it figures, since the Europeans hold that show, and probably decide their favorites...... So, congratulations Al, you've joined such luminaries for peace as Yasser Arafat (terrorist!), Jimmy Carter (pansy ass Jew hater, Arab lover), and Neville Chamberlain (godfather and mentor of appeasers everywhere).

Thanks for nothing, Stockholm! Dumb friggin Swedes.

A Message from W&J

2007-09-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

Here it Comes AgainAs the Sept 11th anniversary approaches once again the media has done it's job. They have instructed the Sheeple how hurtful to Muslims it is when we all stand at attention getting chill bumps and teary eyes to Proud to Be An American. They have taught you how racist it is oppose thousands of Mexican trucks (containing God knows what) streaming across the border and going wherever they want. They have taught you to applaud Obamma when he says that he will negotiate with radical Islam and convince Iran to put away their bombs because he says so. They have taught us that we should ban all traces of our founding fathers Christianity in our schools while opening a new public school (your tax dollars) to teach Islamic law and culture to American students. They have taught us how wrong we were to fight for our culture and our safety. They have taught that we will never have to fear the terrorists again if we only surrender. There, see how easy it is to give up everything our fathers and grandfathers died for ? Was that so hard ? Thank you NBC, CBS, ABC, and CNN we know see how stupid fighting back has been.

Thanks Radio Gawds.

Tomorrow 9/11

2007-09-10T18:02:00.001-07:00

Well, apparently tomorrow is a day that was indelable for most of us, but the fools at Moron.org and others have forgotten that we're fighting terrorists worse than any of their paranoid suspicions of 75% of the US.

Try and remember what happened six years ago tomorrow..... please don't forget.

Why MTV Sucks

2007-09-10T17:59:00.001-07:00

OK, back in the day, I loved my MTV. Then, MTV spiralled into the toilet. When you have Britney Spears double-wide trailer trash ass shakin it for entertainment, you've hit rock bottom. When your golden boy Kanye West bitches and moans that a black man can't get a break (50 cent and Snoop would beg to differ, yo!), you've hit rock bottom. When the awards show draws less of an audience, but the fist fight between Kid Rock and Tommy Lee draws s spike in rating, you know you've hit rock bottom. Sorry to drone on like Jeff Foxworthy, but MTV suuuuuuuuuuucks now. And the VMA is just another nail in the coffin for this archaic, insignificant network.

How many times do they have to re-air Jackass to save their ratings? Plenty, apparently.

If Patton Were Alive.....

2007-07-25T17:40:00.000-07:00

Not truth, as the General is long since gone, but thankfully his spirit is in our troops.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyUX6wV1lBQ

RWR RIP

2007-06-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

To President Ronald Wilson Reagan....

Rest In Peace.

We have much to be grateful for. Thanks for everything.

1911-2004.

Navy Directive That Won't Work, T-SHIRT BAN

2007-06-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

Now, normally you'd think the US Navy and US military is gung ho and pretty much un-PC, click on this link and see that's not always the case....

http://209.157.64.200/focus/f-news/1552655/posts

Now, I must ask a good question. where can we get T-shirts with the following verboten slogans....

The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:
"Eat Pork Or Die" [both English and Arabic versions]

"Shrine Busters" [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]

"Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy" [Both English and Arabic versions]

"Goat - it isn't just for breakfast any more." [Both English and Arabic versions]

"The road to Paradise begins with me." [Mostly Arabic versions but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs]

"Guns don't kill people. I kill people." [Both Arabic and English versions]

"Pork. The other white meat." [Arabic version]

"Infidel" [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive.

The following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:

"Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range At 0800 Daily."

"Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards

Jerry Falwell is dead....

2007-05-15T16:54:00.000-07:00

OK, as a Christian, it is sad when a fellow person dies. He was controversial, he drew fire from his own fellow believers, but his passing will be felt. Do not agree with all he did or said, but some of what he did that won't gain noteriety, was good. Jerry, spend your time with The Man and enjoy your rest in eternity. Good luck Rev.

Others not so charitable with his passing.....

http://www.tmz.com/2007/05/15/jerry-falwell-1933-2007/

Many more were civil at least.....even Larry Flynt a main opponent.

http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah5356.shtml

amongst others.....

http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/158206.aspx

http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/mccain-first-out-of-the-gate-with-falwell-condolences-2007-05-15.html

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8P5070O0&show_article=1

Agree or disagree, this is a solemn time for Falwell's friends and family. Prayers and well wishes go to you.

Family Update

2007-05-15T16:48:00.000-07:00

Today, became an uncle again, for the second time. My sis had her second child, Abbie Jeanne. She's 5 lbs. 5 oz. Her and the kiddo are good. Prayers appreciated. Feeling older, but it's a good older. To anyone else having kids in their families or who knows new parents, kudos to you, and yes it feels great. Children are a blessing from God.

Now, wedding rituals like catching the garter, are the devil. Damned set ups. Yeah, I got left holding the garter, shut it.

But, anyway, you all may notice my hiatus from posting. Been busy with work and fam. Also, just letting others take the political reigns, but I'll be back.

Bwahahahahaha!

24 Update from Last Week

2007-04-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

Sorry, work's been busy and all the national stuff is a bit crazy lately....

Here's a link to a good mocking of this past week's 24 episode.

http://www.nicedoggie.net/2007/?p=503#comments

Kurt Vonnegut RIP

2007-04-12T05:42:00.000-07:00

Author and writer Kurt Vonnegut died yesterday. The creator of such works as Slaughterhouse Five and Harrison Bergeron passed away at the age of 84. His writing style was interesting. His politics, not everyone's cup of tea, but he did not back down. Vonnegut's book Slaughterhouse Five was hated and raved on. It's was burned in piles, and bought by others. At least Kurt wasn't fired off MSNBC for a stupid comment.

RIP, Kurt.

Also, actor Roscoe Lee Browne died yesterday. He was best known as the narrator from the film, Babe, but also Bill Cosby's professor pal and poker buddy. Browne was also the judge in Legal Eagles, with Robert Redford..... RIP Mr. Browne.

Don Imus Non-story

2007-04-12T05:32:00.000-07:00

OK, not that I am a fan of Don Imus, but what's the frickin hoopla over nappy headed hos? Hasn't that been voiced over and over and over again on most rap and MTV shit? When did everyone get so up in arms?

First off, Don Imus was a tactless boob for what he said. There, he was in the wrong.
Second, he deserves suspension, but is now being fired. How can his ratings get any lower, since his show is usually fighting for dead last place with Air America on the airwaves? But, he's now canned, says MSNBC. Wow, I guess liberals do eat their own.
Third, this is being stoked for more than it is by hypocrites like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. Sharpton and Jackson are such moral authorities on race and tolerance. Anyone remember the Crown Heights Riots or Tawana Brawley or hymietown? No? Of course not, the media buried those. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson can both shut it now and for all eternity.

The Rutgers Ladies Basketball Team though offended, is now claiming mental scars for the rest of their lives....Did your lawyer coach you good or what? What kind of contingency is that ambulance chaser going for? How can anyone take nappy headed ho and then say they had nightmares of slavery and human bondage? You're still in college! You don't know what you wanna do with your life, but you're now a judge on metaphors and alliteration? Go back to English class. And tell that lawyer to STFU. You were hurt, it sucked, but don't milk this.

Next, apply, the standard evenly or don't do it at all. You media types slammed Imus, and Mel Gibson, and others. They screwed the pooch, yeah, they got their comeuppance. However, these non-stories are all over the place. And no one dares ask why it's OK for some hoodlum role-model to us n-gga or ho or bitch, but anyone else does and they're a biggot. Who's worse? The idiot who slips up and doesn't normally say that crap OR the idiot perpetuating stereotypes of his own ethnicity on others? Be the judge.

Treat bigotry the same or just shut up, suck it up, and deal with it later.

There's more important stories for you bobbleheads to cover, like American Idol and Dancing With the Stars, but not Iran, the illegals invasion, and the f-up known as Iraq. F-up because we didn't hit hard enough. F-up because the President didn't let the military do their job. F-up because the same DC twerps who screwed Vietnam, thought they could win on their time table. They didn't learn from WWII or Korea or Vietnam. So, when we don't learn, we repeat history.

There, rant over.

24 Update

2007-04-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

Well, at least they got back to somewhat believable stuff and finally hooded those retard falcons, oops, the writers from Fox, CAIR and MoveOn.org. Nice episode, see if you can save this season of 24.

Eh, here's B4B's rendition of 24.....

10:00:00 to 10:11:04
Yee-hah! Slim Pickens is riding the missile straight into Durkadurkastan! Fixin' to unleash some bottled sunshine. Frau Blucher and Weasel Cage are desperate to stop the missiles. Frau Blucher begs Chiggy to lie and say Jack is getting dirt from Nagonaworkhere, but Chiggy won't lie.In full-blown panic, the ambassador from Durkadurkastan reports that his government has taken General Heebiejeebi into custody for working with Sameer Nagonaworkhere's terrorist cell. Zombie President Belushi aborts the missile. Now knowing the Durkadurkastanis have been lying the whole time, and the whole thing was a bluff it wasn't a real missile it was a dummy warhead (Demond Wilson was strapped to the nosecone.)
Back in El Lay, Jack pounds Nagonaworkhere like cheap veal, but Nagonaworkhere won't talk. Ricky Stratton wants to take a turn with him.Ricky Stratton: "You think you're gonna be some knd of martyr. I don't think so, punk."Nagonaworkhere: "I serve the will of God."Ricky Stratton (putting a gun to Nagonaworkhere's head): "Let's try out that theory."Jack stops Ricky Stratton and books the David Crosby suite at Betty Ford to hook up Nagonaworkhere to some chemical persuasion.
10:15:32 to 10:22:54
Weasel Cage brings Heebiejeebi's permanent record from elementary school. Zombie President Belushi is pleased. "Ha! Ran with scissors! I knew it!" Weasel apologizes for not trusting ZPB's judgment, and Belushi apologizes for not being more sensitive to Weasel Cage's feelings. ZPB says, "We all learned something here today." You know how I can tell ZPB and WC are gay? Because they hold each other oh so tenderly.
Naturally, the armored van is rammed by an armored truck on the way back to CTU. A bunch of thugs bust out of the armored truck and come at Jack and Ricky Stratton with machine guns. Jack uses his sidearm and manages to take out a couple before the bullet with his name on it finds him and leaves him sprawled on the pavement. As soon as Jack and Ricky are down, the thugs hustle off with Nagonaworkhere.Jacks lies dead on the pavement. Then he rises as Zombie Jack Bauer. He informs CTU that the "rescue" of Nagonaworkhere went off as planned. Then, Zombie Bacardi turns to Zombie Light Beer and says, "Ricky you're bleeding... and your brains smell delicious." Ricky insists that it's minor.As the armored van speeds away, a middle eastern man informs Nagonworkhere, "General Heebijeebi sent us. He wants us to help you rendezvous with your men." "Give me your gun," Nagonaworkhere demands, and then demands to talk to Heebijeebi directly.10:27:23 to 10:37:32
Chiggy recaps the previous segment for the benefit of Zombie President Belushi and anyone else who was tuning in late or was too stupid to figure it out. (You know, like people who watch 'The View.') Chiggy and Zombie President Belushi to arrange for Heebijeebi to call in. The Durkadurkastani ambassador grovels in gratitude for the president not making baked glass out of the desert. Now, Frau Blucher starts talking tough, "That's not good enough, you lying sack of crap." "It's not lying, it's taqiyya, and besides, we even arrested his family. What else do you want from us?" ZPB suggests: "Well, could you shoot them... or at least fake it like Jack did in Season 2."
Back at CTU, Kemper is all pissy because he thinks Awana Fuqya likes Ricky Stratton better than him. Fuqya insists that she's only being nice because she likes hanging around Ricky's dad's mansion, which is stocked with arcade video games and has a scale model train. Al Bundy here's them arguing, and offers Kemper some words of wisdom. "Women, can't live with them... the end."
As the Durkadurkastani's hold a gun to his son's head for inspiration, Heebijeebi talks to Nagonworkhere. "You suck Nagonaworkhere. I should have sent Bahir to run this martyrdom operation. Make with the bombs already." Nagonaworkhere gives the team directions to the safe house.Back at the Batcave, the president collapses.There hasn't been a president who fell down this much since Ulysses S Grant.
10:41:53 to 10:47:24
Awana Fuqya finds an inconsistency in the general's transcript. "He talks about someone named Bahir. That's not even a real middle Eastern name. it's that kid from 'South Park.''' She thinks it may have been a duress code.
Jack tries to warn the CTU guys in the armored car, but just then, their truck enters a tunnel, cutting them off. The next time Jack sees the armored truck, it's stopped into the tunnel and most of the CTU tactical team is dead.Seeing bullet holes in the service door of the tunnel (they always seem to have those, don't they?) Jack follows it and sees Nagonaworkhere pummeling some undocumented worker who was just doing a job American's won't do. Then, Nagonaworkhere steals his truck. Apparently, the FBI was asleep at the switch when Nagonaworkhere took a CDL course and got a Class F Heavy Equipment License.Jack clings to the bottom of the garbage truck, and still manages to call CTU. "Hey, Look at me, I'm T.J. Hooker!"
10:51:42 to 10:59:59
Zombie President Belushi is strapped back into his chair. "Must. Eat. More. Brains." His doctor will have none of it. "Either you stop eating brains or I quit." "What if I just ate one really big brain?" Frau Blucher agrees to send for George F. Will.
Nagonaworkhere speeds back towards Initech. Upon arrival, he orders his men to load the nukes onto the truck and make ready to drive to the middle of downtown Los Angeles, where they will detonate them at midnight, resulting in as many as five casualties.Then, Jack starts shooting up the place. There are like twenty terrorists firing at him with AK's, and Jack's got like one hand gun and a can of Dole pineapple, but he fights like Chuck Norris and kills them all and then beats the crap outta Sameer Nagonaworkhere. Jack hooks him up to a chain and whispers, "Say hello to your little brother... and my wife ... and Tony Almeda, and Michelle Dressler, and Edgar Stiles, and Edgar Stiles's Mom, and Lynn McGill, and Curtis Manning and David Palmer and Ryan Chappelle and ... Elvis and Don Knotts." Then Jack hangs him.
Doyle is the first to catch up with him. "Bombs are on the table." Jack tells him. "It's Miller Time." Jack checks his watch. "And in less time than it usually takes."
Then, Jack gets a mysterious phone call from his "dead" Season 4 girlfriend, Zombie Penis Nose. The heathen Chinee are holding her prisoner and torturing, but unlike with Muslims, you won't hear any professional grievance groups whining about it. Just ask Sarah Silverman. Anyway, the heathen Chinee demand that Jack call them back, presumably, so they can continue to do horrible things to him.Or for them?Tick Tock

Funny As.....

2007-04-07T17:51:00.001-07:00

I don't care what you say, this sh-t is funny.

Props to Carlos Mencia and his sick ass mind.

http://carlosmencia.com/content/videos.php?id=20

Good Friday

2007-04-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

And to recover from the demons purged in this last post, have a happy Easter Weekend. Remember, it's more than suits, and bunnies, and hyper kids on sugar, it's about Jesus coming back from the dead for all mankind.

Have a very Good Friday to remember what happened, but also what lay after.

Bob Clark, Porkys and Christmas Story Director Killed in Auto accident

2007-04-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well, today is sad day in the world. Actually, this is from a few days ago. But, director Bob Clark, best known for A Christmas Story, Porky's I & II, Turk 182, and other films was killed in a car accident near Pacific Pallisades, CA. two days ago. Clark was hit by a driver, with a suspended license, while under the influence and with two priors. And this same driver, is rumored to be an illegal alien...... what a shock. RIP Mr. Clark and Clark's son. Driver who killed Clark and caused other accidents, may you face justice.

Pissant.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070405/people_nm/clark_dc_1

And in other news, a Houston Mother and unborn child were also killed in a recent accident, by one of our new citizens, who is taking Reconquesta to a whole new level. Keellin the gringos.....watch it on the road all you honkeys and everyone else who assimilates here in the US....

http://www.nicedoggie.net/2007/?p=389

And another.....

http://content.hamptonroads.com/story.cfm?story=122390&ran=23962&tref=po

Our new illegal citizens, doing the killings Americans don't want to do. Sickens me.

No WMDS, that's not what they said then....

2007-04-04T18:00:00.001-07:00

http://www.bercasio.com/movies/dems-wmd-before-iraq.wmv

This speaks for itself....

Fred Thomspon may run for President

2007-03-27T18:29:00.000-07:00

OK, you may be saying, another actor running for President?

Why?

Well, let's look at Fred's credentials. Fred was a practicing federal attorney for a number of years, and even questioned some of the Watergate burglars. Fred was an actor, of course, check out Law and Order, but also his roles in Die Hard 2, Hunt For Red October, No Way Out, In the Line of Fire, etc. Fred most importantly was a Senator for Tennessee. He did not stay too long. He got burned out with Congress, early, and had a family death occur. So, Fred took time off. He may come back and run for President.

Well, it may be strange, but check out the following people who were in public office......

Ronald W Reagan, 41st President of the United States
George Murphy
John Gavin
Shirley Temple Black
Clint Eastwood- Dirty Harry was mayor of Carmel.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Governor of California
Alan Autry
Sonny Bono

and a few more, I know doubt missed.

I say, why not Fred? People thought less of Reagan, and look how he went from a Goldwater (liberal labeled dark horse), to a two term President.

Never say never.

http://www.nysunpolitics.com/blog/2007/03/thompson-takes-bites-out-of.html

Tony Snow's cancer returns

2007-03-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

Say what you may, agree with him or not, colon cancer is not something to joke about. Nor is it something to chuckle about when it spreads to his liver.

Whatever your faith or no faith, wish and pray the man well.....

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8O4KDV80&show_article=1

24 Update, man is The Emperor Pissed....

2007-03-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

In this week’s episode, we start out by learning, once again, that Fayed the terrorist is nothing but a helpless innocent Muslim who can do nothing without the help of the REAL mastermind, Gredenko the Evil White Russian Supremacist (because Muslims never committed any acts of terrorism in the entire history of the world, of course), that Gredenko himself is helpless without the assistance of an autistic brother of a security guard, that Nadia the Token Arab Chick Mole is as innocent as the day is long (because Muslims never committed any acts of terrorism in the entire history of the world, of course) and that President Allstate Jr, who was until recently in an induced coma because he’d, at best, end up as a brain-damaged vegetable if he wasn’t kept in it, wakes up like Lazarus at the very last moment to prevent the retaliatory strike against Fayed and Assad’s home country (because Muslims never committed any acts of terrorism in the entire history of the world, of course), none the worse for wear and prepared to take on the world.
I’m done.
Let somebody else do the recaps of this CAIR propaganda piece from now on, because I can’t stand watching that terrorist cock-sucking show anymore.
If they’d at least broadcast it in the original Arabic, then it’d have some novelty value.
As it is, they should tell al-Jazeera to stick to blood libels, because they suck donkey’s dick when it comes to writing TV shows.
The End.
***UPDATE:*** Oh what the Hell… Since tradewind asks so nicely in the comments, here we go. But let me warn you: There is precious little I can do to make last night’s episode sound any more retardedly absurd, even with my considerable talents, so if anything in the following makes you go “no WAY, that’s TOO much artistic license, Emperor”, chances are that I’m just quoting the script verbatim. Yes, it’s THAT ridiculous…
« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!
At the scene where Jack nailed Gredenko’s remote pilot last episode (and made a new high score on the video game he was using), Jack tells the paramedics to keep the pilot alive because he’s “the only link to Gredenko that they have.” Which, of course, causes the pilot to croak on the spot. Note to Joel Surnow: The “he’s the last lead we have” followed immediately by “oops, he snuffed it” plotline has been done to death already. Get OVER it. Of course, so has pretty much every other plot device in this whole season, but we digress…
Jack calls Bill to get an update on the nuclear fallout situation, and is told that VP Neocon, the Evil Bastard, has decided to retaliate with a tactical nuclear strike in the middle of a desert somewhere.
“He’s NUTS! It’ll start WWIII!”, Jack screams.
Sure, Jack. For one thing, that would be WWIV and, for another, we somehow don’t much think that the Chinese and the Russians would be interested in testing their M.A.D. aftermath scenarios over a few roasted camels in a tent in Buttfuckistan.
“But it’ll be seen as an act of aggression against the entire Middle East!”
Forgetting for a moment that the Arab nations aren’t exactly exemplary in their solidarity with their brothers when under attack, we have to say “so what?” What are they going to do? Bleed on us? Oh, you mean terrorism? AS IN WHAT THEY’RE ALREADY FUCKING DOING??? Notice that, by any chance?
At the terrorist hangout, tensions are running high. Yul al-Brynner is pissed off that he didn’t get a nice fireball over San Francisco, crying that “it’s all over thanks to you and your people” and threatens to shoot Gredenko.
“But you need ME to deliver the remaining two bombs”, Gredenko protests.
“WHY?”, a million viewers ask, as they wonder what’s stopping al-Brynner from setting them off himself. He’s already got the triggering device, after all, and even HE ought to be able to find a major city on his own. OK, so he’d have to stop at a gas station for a Rand-McNally, but surely he can figure THAT out without Gredenko’s help?
Of course he can’t. He’s a Muslim, and the REAL mastermind is an evil, conspicuously white Russian fanatic. Because Muslims Never Committed Any Terrorist Attacks On Their Own In The Entire History Of Mankind™ (BMNCATAOTOITEHOM™), of course. There is ALWAYS some wicked white man who is REALLY behind it, don’t you know? Just ask all the Jooos that were evacuated from the WTC before Bush Made It Happen On Purpose™ (MIHOP™).
Realizing that Joel Surnow would never let him set off a nuke (or CAIR would most assuredly sue him), al-Brynner decides to let Gredenko live. Gredenko then calls the NEXT “real man behind the curtain” who, apart from being decidedly non-Muslim of course, happens to be Doogie Howser who now works as a security guard at a nuclear power plant and lives alone with his autistic brother, Rain Man.
We can’t wait to learn about the next “real man behind the curtain.” It’ll probably be a paraplegic Inuit grandmother living in an igloo. No, that would be a minority. OK, how about a Caucausian Republican midget stock broker with Merrill Lynch? Hey, it COULD HAPPEN, you know.
Apparently Doogie, when not watching Judge Wapner with his brother or hanging out at the nuke plant, earns his money as a go-to guy for Russian terrorists. Has his own entry in the Yellow Pages and everything.
The nuclear plant has tightened security, so Gredenko calls Doogie and demands a new set of security codes.
“How long will it take?”, Gredenko asks.
“How much is left of tonight’s episode?”
“About 50 minutes.”
“Well, then I’ll have them in about 40.”
Doogie goes to see about his brother.
“Ray, I don’t suppose you could get me some files from the nuclear plant mainframe?”, he asks.
“Sure. I’m a good hacker. I’m definitely a good hacker”, Rain Man answers and goes to work.
At CTU, Milo the Frat Boy is watching Token Arab Mole Chick (who is obviously not a mole BMNCATAOTOITEHOM™) on the CCTV. Thankfully, the camera doesn’t let us see what he’s doing with his right hand. Bill comes by to give him the good news that she’s going to be transferred to GITMO as an enemy combatant WHERE SHE WILL BE HELD INDEFINITELY WITHOUT ACCESS TO LAWYERS OR DUE PROCESS OF LAW! BUSH=HITLER! HALLIBURTON!
Or something like that. We’re beyond giving a damn.
After Bill is done with that nice bit of exposition, designed to make the audience even more indignant on behalf of Token Arab Mole Chick when it, inevitably, turns out that she’s as pure as the driven snow (BMNCATAOTOITEHOM™), Chloe interrupts to tell Bill that they’ve found another lead on Gredenko. More specifically, it turns out that even CTU aren’t blitheringly incompetent enough to have NOT kept an eye on the traffic from Gredenko’s satellite phone and have traced his last conversation to Doogie Howser’s apartment.
Somewhere in the U.S., the ACLU is getting ready to file suit on behalf of innocent terrorists having their phone conversations listened in on without a warrant. Well, they would, if the terrorist in this case hadn’t been a Caucasian Russian terrorist.
Bill tells Chloe to send the address to Jack.
Meanwhile, at the drone pilot location, a spooky agent who also, it turns out, worked with Little Lord Fauntleroy in Denver (did anybody NOT work with him there?), reveals to Little Lord Fauntleroy that he found a computer chip explaining how the terrorists managed to hack into CTU’s satellite feed. According to Sneaky Spook, the chip, in conjunction with a trojan downloaded by Token Arab Mole Chick while she was browsing terrorist websites, was the only reason they got in. Obviously CTU has never heard about firewalls or browser security, or perhaps they’re just using Internet Explorer. Neither would surprise anybody very much.
Bottom line: Token Arab Mole Chick is, you guessed it, pure as the driven snow (BMNCATAOTOITEHOM™)… Big surprise there.
Agent Sneaky hands the chip to Little Lord Fauntleroy and suggests that he might want to lose the evidence to avoid unpleasantness when somebody finds out that Token Arab Mole Chick is innocent.
“But I was following standard protocol to the letter at the time, not to mention that all the evidence pointed in her direction!”, Little Lord Fauntleroy reasonably points out.
“Yeah”, Agent Sneaky replies, “but actual facts are hardly going to matter to ACLU, CAIR and The New York Times, now is it?”
He DOES have a point. Little Lord Fauntleroy doesn’t look to pleased and pockets the chip.
At the White House Bunker, Karen Pelosi walks into the medical bay to convince Cynthia McAllstate that risking her brother’s life by waking him up from his medically induced coma is the only way that Karen Pelosi can succeed in her personal crusade to vindicate her enormous ego to SAVE THE WORLD AND LITTLE CUTE BUNNIES!
“Before your brother was almost killed, he was trying to reach out to the Peaceful Muslims that Were Never Connected to Terrorism in the Entire History of Mankind, and it was working”, Karen says, blithely ignoring the fact that it wasn’t working at all. Well, unless your standards for something working are a whole lot lower than rational people’s.
Let’s review: No leads on anything, one nuke in Valencia, one disarmed elsewhere and one dirty nuke in San Francisco, not to mention two live ones at large. That and Ambassador Raghead of Buttfuckistan offering nothing but his condolences… Yep, it was working wonderfully, that’s for sure.
But Cynthia McAllstate have inherited the brains of the Allstate family, meaning that her logical faculties are either shut down or on a drunken Spring Break in Aruba, so she buys it hook, line and sinker.
“Sure, let’s wake my brother up from a coma and risk him dying or turning into a vegetable, heck, we don’t even know if he’ll be able to talk if he wakes up, what could possibly be worse than the home country of Assad and al-Brynner being put on notice that they either put up or shut up? Let’s DO it!”
While going over the plan for the tactical strike, VP Neocon is interrupted by his aide, who informs him about Karen Pelosi’s plot. He calls the doctor and tells him to quit being a fucking moron, and the doctor tells him that it’s not his call to make, that Cynthia McAllstate has ordered him to risk the POTUS’s life to prove Karen Pelosi’s point and that’s the end of it. Obviously, putting a patient’s life in immediate danger is a whole lot easier than one would think, even when the patient is the President of the United States.
VP Neocon reminds him that if the President is hurt in any way, he’ll personally nail his ass to the wall, so he might want to go find a nice spot.
At Doogie Howser’s house, Jack and the red shirts have arrived and are preparing to go in, guns blazing. They do so, managing to shoot Doogie, severing an artery, and scare the shit out of Rain Man who holds his head and shouts “Uh oh, guns, uh oh, guns…” while rocking back and forth. Jack tells the team to stabilize Doogie while he goes to have a talk with Rain Man.
Jack does his best Special Ed Teacher impersonation which, if it weren’t so out of character, would be an interesting alternative to his usual “you’re going to tell me what I need to know or I’ll…” routine.
He goes back to tell Doogie that unless he tells him what information he was getting for Gredenko, he’ll have Rain Man locked up in a small cell without a TV to watch Judge Wapner on, and he’ll make personally sure that his maple syrup will be served after the pancakes for the rest of his life. Doogie promptly spills the beans and tells Jack what nuclear power plant he was giving him the codes for. Of course, Jack could’ve just looked that up in Doogie’s files, but hey…
He goes back to Rain Man who is definitely not wearing his underwear. Or maybe he is, who cares? Jack puts on his Special Ed cap again and talks Rain Man into doing the handover of the codes to Gredenko for him. With Doogie Howser’s help (and the promise of a trip to K-Mart), Rain Man agrees to help out. Doogie calls Gredenko and tells him that there’s been a slight change of plan. He’s got the codes, but he has to go to the office to talk to his supervisor so, unless Gredenko wants to wait for him to come back, he’ll have to take delivery from Rain Man.
“Your brother?”, Gredenko asks.
“Yes. Either that or you’re going to have to wait a bit longer for your codes.”
“Alright, but if he insists on driving my car again, I’m going to shoot him on the spot. And no watching People’s Court either. I can’t STAND that friggin’ show! Have him meet me in the parking lot across the street.”
At CTU, Agent Spooky looks up Milo and tells him about the chip and how Little Lord Fauntleroy is hiding the evidence.
Milo rushes off to beat up Little Lord Fauntleroy but is, thankfully for him, stopped before he can get his ass beaten to a whimpering pulp.
“He’s hiding evidence that Nadia’s innocent”, he yells.
“What?”, Bill asks.
“Oh shut up, Milo”, Al Bundy says as he runs to join the fray, “he gave it to me so I could check it out, make sure it was legit.”
“Er, oops”, Milo says, and Little Lord Fauntleroy generously refrains from spitting on his soul patch. Instead he goes to find Agent Spooky and tells him that the gig is up. “Soon, fuckhead, sooon…”, he hisses as he glares menacingly at him. Well, with all the menace that an actor mainly known for his part as Little Lord Fauntleroy can muster anyways. It doesn’t leave much of an impression either.
Bill goes to tell Token Arab Mole Chick the good news, that she’s been absolutely cleared and that she’s free to go. Oh, and would she please go back to work?
Instead of being happy to be proven innocent and impressed with how justice has been served by CTU investigating the matter and fessing up to their mistakes, Token Arab Mole Chick walks off in a huff, pouting like a little girl. Hey, she’s got an enormous windfall coming to her once CAIR gets a hold of her case, so why sabotage it by pretending to be reasonable? Besides, she’s a Muslim, so everybody should have known from the start that she could not POSSIBLY be guilty of anything (BMNCATAOTOITEHOM™).
After Bill has kissed her ass profusely, she relents and decides to stay for the time being. Or perhaps she realized that discovery would be a bitch, considering her felony breach of security protocol by accessing the mainframe using Milo’s login credentials.
As she comes back to her workstation, Milo spots her and decides that it’s time to make his move. Well, other than his standard move of humping her leg every time she’s in the room, that is. Token Arab Mole Chick isn’t exactly in the mood, however, at least until Milo baas like a goat, grabs her forcefully and tells her that he’s going to ride her like a camel while sticking his tongue down her throat well past her tonsils.
Apparently that turns her on, because she somehow refrains from kneeing him in the groin.
At the White House, Cynthia McAllstate and Karen Pelosi are waiting for President Allstate Jr to wake up from his coma and save the world, when the doctor enters the room and tells them that President Allstate Jr’s brain is swelling. As a matter of fact, it has now swollen to the size of a walnut and doctor Kevorkian is suggesting that they re-induce the coma to save his life.
“No”, Cynthia McAllstate says, “I don’t care if it swells to the point where his skull blows up, he has to save the world!”
“But he won’t be much use saving the world if he’s got the intellect of a rutabaga when he wakes up”, the doctor points out.
“Says who? It never kept him from being President in the past!”
At this point, the nurse interrupts the Three Stooges, telling the doc that President Allstate’s vitals are crashing.
Doesn’t look good, does it? Well, in the real world it wouldn’t look good, but we all know what’s not going to happen, don’t we?
Jack and the team are getting ready and Jack briefs Rain Man one more time.
“Ray, I need you to wear one of those”, he says, holding up an ear radio.
“Will it hurt?”
“It will if you don’t put it in there right now, dammit”, everybody watching the show says and breathe a sigh of relief when Rain Man lets Jack put it on him.
“It’ll let you hear me without anybody knowing. Kinda like voices in your head. And it comes with a neat decoder ring too! Just pretend you can’t hear me, because Mr Gredenko can’t know.”
With that and an “OK” from Rain Man, Jack sends him off to the rendezvous across the street. Then he briefs his team.
“OK, guys. Charlie team shoots Gredenko with the tranq dart, Alpha and Bravo teams shoot anything else that moves. And try to get it right this time, will you?”
“Roger that. Alpha and Bravo to shoot Gredenko while Charlie shoots Rain Man with the tranq dart.”
“No, dammit, Charlie on Gredenko with the tranq dart, Alpha and Bravo on everybody else. And NOBODY shoots Rain Man!”
“Unless he moves, got it…”
“NO SHOOTING ON RAIN MAN, FOR FUCK’S SAKES!”
“What if Gredenko moves? Do Alpha and Bravo shoot him then?”
“No, you do NOT shoot Gredenko unless it’s with a tranq dart.”
“Whether he moves or not. Right. Gotcha, sir.”
Gredenko arrives and gets out of the car.
“Do you have it?”, Gredenko asks.
“Yeah. I definitely have it”, Rain Man answers.
“Alright. Give it to me.”
“Uh oh”, Rain Man says.
“What?”
“You have to say ‘please.’ Definitely have to say ‘please’”
“Alright then. Give it to me please.”
While Rain Man hands over the thumb drive and Gredenko starts downloading, Charlie team informs Jack that Rain Man is in the way. He can’t get a clean shot. For some reason, it doesn’t occur to Jack to tell Rain Man to take one step to the left or right, the reason most likely being that it would be too logical. Not to mention that we’d miss seeing the download gauge on Gredenko’s laptop go from 0% to 100%.
While downloading, Gredenko gives the order, in Russian, to shoot Rain Man as soon as he’s done downloading and verifying the codes.
“Can you take a shot?”, Jack asks Charlie team.
“Negative. Rain Man is still in the way like I told you a minute ago.”
“Can you move your position?”
“Are you fucking crazy, sir? Alpha and Bravo would shoot me if I were to move. You just told them, remember?”
“Oh bother”, Jack mumbles, then finally has an epiphany and realizes that perhaps, just perhaps it would be possible to get Rain Man to move a few inches instead.
“Ray, when I say ‘go’, you get down as quickly as possible, OK?”
“Should we shoot him then? Seeing as how he’ll be moving and all?”, Alpha and Bravo ask.
“No, dammit. NOBODY SHOOTS AT THE AUTISTIC KID, COPY???”
“Gotcha, Sir. Nobody is to shoot the kid, whether he moves or not.”
The download finishes and Gredenko gives the order to shoot Rain Man. Jack tells Rain Man to get down, and Charlie team nails Gredenko with a tranq dart while Alpha and Bravo teams start shooting everything that moves. Except for one guy, who is taken out by Jack while running to rescue Rain Man.
“Why didn’t you fucking shoot the bastard?”, he yells.
“He didn’t move”, Alpha and Bravo teams reply in unison.
Jack picks up Rain Man who is cowering on the ground.
“You did great, Ray”, he says, “but what’s that smell?”
“Uh oh, I’m definitely not wearing my underpants”, Rain Man answers, and Jack turns his head and tells his team to take the poor kid to his brother. And ferchrissakes, would somebody give the kid a fresh pair of underwear?
Gredenko is dragged off to be prepped for interrogation.
When he wakes up, Jack enters the room, looking at him menacingly while giving him the usual speech about how he’s going to tell him what he needs to know etc. etc. etc. and does somebody happen to have a hacksaw?
Gredenko isn’t impressed at all, since he’s seen the previous seasons already.
“Cut the crap. Just give me the standard Full Amnesty and Protection Package™ or I’m not telling you anything.”
And we all know that he’s going to get it too. There is no WAY that Jack would just tell him to fuck himself and make him talk anyway by “asking him very nicely” because, as we all know, there is no crime so egregiously horrid that you can’t immediately get a Full Amnesty on 24. Oh, and Torture Never Works!!!!™.
At the White House Bunker, the fireworks are about to commence. Spineless Toad, who has become a perfect clone of Karen Pelosi, is trying to convince the VP that now that they have another useless lead, it’s time to call off everything and rely on CTU and their 1337, M4d 5k11z because that’s worked so well in the past.
The VP is having none of it, however. Obviously he’s seen enough of CTU’s “promising leads” turn to shit in the past (so say we all!) to not be overly confident that this one is going to Save the World™. That, and he probably knows that there are about ten episodes left of the show still.
Not to mention that, whether Gredenko’s capture leads to the unraveling of the plot or not, there’s still the small matter of a dozen thousand casualties in Valencia and the radiation spill in San Francisco, caused by a citizen of Buttfuckistan whose organization has been planning and operating with the tacit approval of the government of said turd world shithole so maybe, just MAYBE it’s time to put them on notice that actions have consequences and that “sincere” condolences plus three bucks won’t get you anything above a cup of coffee at Starbuck’s.
Clearly, he’s insane. At least by the standards of the CAIR writers that FOX has been forced to hire.
Then, just as the sub is about to launch, we learn that they’ve been ordered to stand down. By the President of the United States.
Switching to the medical bay, we learn that a MIRACLE has happened. President Allstate Jr, who just a few minutes ago was struggling for his life, brain swelling rapidly and vital signs crashing all over the place, has awoken and is in full possession of his faculties, looking considerably better than any of us do when we wake up from a full night of restful sleep. Heck, he doesn’t even look groggy. Which is pretty damn impressive, considering that a few minutes ago he was almost dead and higher than a Kennedy behind the wheel.
“I’ve stopped your insane genocidal attack on the camels of our eternal friends in Buttfuckistan”, he tells the VP, “and I’ll be resuming my full Presidential duties immediately. Well, as soon as I get done walking on water and raising the dead, that is.”
I guess we’ll have to call him President Lazarus from now on.
Of course, the VP being the Evil NeoKKKon Racist that he is, isn’t going to give up without a fight (it would make CAIR seriously “disappointed”, after all), so he vows to unseat President Lazarus Allstate, asking for the Attorney General.
And thus endeth the episode.
Did I tell that it was ridiculous or what?

24 Update from this week.....

2007-03-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

07:00:00 to 07:10:47

Outside the Russian consulate... body bags... lots and lots of body bags. It's like they were hosting The Source Hip-Hop Awards. Back at CTU, they are pointing satellites at the desert looking for drones. The the nuclear-armed stealth kind, not the Borg kind. In the Desert, where night has suddenly fallen between last hour and this one, Whistler and Nagonaworkhere prepare to launch the only drone they've got ready to go. It will be remote controlled by some Russian dude with a Nintendo Wii.

♫"No need to ask, he's a drone operator...drone... operator..." ♫Meanwhile, RPF who was upgrading security systems -- which they apparently do every couple of hours and yet still not often enough at CTU -- and noticed that Awana Fugya was using Kemper's security code, she tells them that it's a felony breach of security, but then Kemper gives her the Puss'n'Boots face. RPF says, "Oh, I can't report you," The same trick worked with Sandy Berger.Chiggy and Al Bundy have detected the drone on satellite, and determined it's headed for downtown L.A. Then Al Bundy loses the drone, because the Russians have hacked CTU and disrupted their tracking capability. Real nice freakin' security upgrade, RPF.

07:15:12 to 07:24:13

RPF determines that if the drone had been headed to L.A., it would have gone off by now. So, they're good. Jack and Ricky Stratton show up at CTU. Chiggy wants Jack to go to medical and tend to his wounds, but Jack decides to run over and see Patsy Ramsay Bauer instead. Jack tells Patsy he still has feelings for Audrey. Patsy tells him, "Oh, forget about the Welsh tart. She's dead. But I'm alive... and I'm all woman." Jack goes into CTU and yells at RPF. "Why didn't anyone tell me Patsy was a woman?" Jack demands to see the file on Audrey's death. RPF protests, "But I've almost found the nuclear drone." Jack: "Forget about the drone. Bring me the file."Weasel Cage gives Frau Blucher a warm welcome upon her return to the batcave ... about as warm as Pat Buchanan welcoming Elinor Clift to a United Jewish Appeal fundraiser. Jim Jones convenes his meeting with the JCS "OK, here's the long and the short of it, if that nuclear bomb detonates in US territory, we're gonna uncork some bottled sunshine over Durkadurkastan."A creepy wheelchair-bound scientist explains the plan. "Mr. President, deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the FEAR to attack. Mein fuhrer... I mean, Mr. President, ve can achieve your results by nuking a small area near zeir norzern border...."

During the break, there's a commercial for Michael Jackson's new show, "Are You Hotter than a Fifth Grader?"

07:28:36 to 07:34:55

RPF is once again closing in on the drone's position, but Kemper pulls her off so she can see if Al Bundy's been drinkin'. Priorities. RPF gives Bundy an open-mouthed kiss, "He's clean." Chiggy makes a note to put Chloe in charge of drug screening for new CTU recruits.Back in the Batcave, Frau Blucher is opposed to the president's plan and tries to win over Weasel Cage. "This is not what President Belushi would have wanted." Weasel Cage reminds her of Belushi's track record, turning loose the terrorist, getting Valencia nuked, and besides... "the vice president makes a mean cup of grape Kool-Aid."At CTU, after being called away to make coffee, run out to Taco Bell for snacks, and pick up Chiggy's dry cleaning, RPF has finally figured out that a mole has enabled the ♫drone operator♫ to see where they are searching before they search it, and pilot the drone away from the satellite track. The leak is coming from Awana Fuqya's computer. Awana gets hauled away by CTU Security goons and Kemper is stunned.Meanwhile, Whistler and Nagonaworkhere decide the drone will detonate over San Francisco right about at the top of the hour. San Franciscans panic over the lack of time to organize an appeasement demonstration.

07:39:22 to 07:46:48

Frau Blucher checks on President Belushi and is informed he's in a coma. Frau Blucher wants to wake him up. The doctor rolls his eyes, "Didn't you hear me, I said he was in a coma?"Kemper is all moony over Awana Fuqya, who is being interrogated by Ricky Stratton. Kemper is SO jealous, but Awana isn't impressed. "Jack would have pulled out my fingernails by now." Meanwhile, Al Bundy has located the place the signal is being fed back to. It's conveniently close to CTU and has excellent parking. Kemper tells Ricky Stratton the location of the feed, and Ricky skips off like the happy little tow-headed boy he is.Nearby, Jack is all moony over Audrey's file. Then, he sees a tactical team deploying and asks where they're going. A tactical dude gives him the thumb's up. "Kegger at the drone pilot's house." Jack asks Chloe for a PDA and a phone. Chiggy tells him he's still injured and not to go, but Jack's all about avenging Audrey's death and stuff.

07:50:54 to 07:59:59

Jack and Ricky Stratton... gotta call them, Bacardi and 7-Up.... move in on the hideout (which must have been, like, across the street from CTU) shooting Russkis as they go. They soon reach the control room, where the ♫drone operator♫ cowers behind the control panel. 7-Up shoots him, and Bacardi takes over the controls. Since the bomb is GPS controlled, it will only detonate once it reaches its target. Jack tries desperately to steer it away.Leslie Nielsen pokes his head in to say, "I just want you to know, we're all counting on you."Jacks steers the drone away at the last second and crash lands it in an industrial park. The nuke is on fire, but not going off. Ann Coulter delivers the news that the nuke didn't go off to the president. She's disappointed. "That would have killed millions of faggots." Jim Jones is disappointed, but decides. "Aw, hell, let's nuke 'em anyway!"

Tick-Tock

24 Update Rott Style

2007-03-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

All Hail Misha at The Rott......

for this funny ass summary of 24 last night.....

Shootout at the Markov Corral by Emperor Misha I (19 Views)
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Strap in as the Grim Reaper finally makes a re-appearance on the show, along with enough plot holes to drive a Chinese container ship through.
It’s… The Bauer Hour of Power!:
« AIIIEEEE! My EYES!
President Weasel arrives at CTU. Obviously, the staff at CTU are prone to carrying petty grudges, because they greet the former statesman who had more than half of them nerve gassed with stares that can’t be considered in any way friendly. Such simplisme behavior. After all, he’s already paying for what he did by being confined to the Hugh Hefner Mansion Arrest, isn’t he? It’s not like he’s been given a fine, a few hours of community service and had his library card temporarily revoked.
He’s taken to a holding cell, where Chloe has to go “do something with the computer”, although it’s quite obvious that what she’d really like to do with the computer would be to shove it up President Weasel’s Khyber Pass… Sideways. Poor Edgar, will she ever get over him? The happy times at the donut vending machine, trying to find a chair in storage that would hold his considerable weight… Such agony.
Rather than doing what she ought to, she tells President Weasel that she’s “feeling ambivalent” and leaves, which, in Chloe-speak, means “if it weren’t for me not wanting to create a hostile work environment, this laptop would currently be stuck in your intestine, right next to your pancreas.”
Upstairs, Bill is telling everybody about his plan to storm the Russian consulate and introducing them to a guy that has been brought in from the outside to lead the charge, Little Lord Fauntleroy.
Milo the Affirmative Hire, whose arm is still in a sling from his having managed to get himself hit while missing every target within 5 feet of himself, isn’t thrilled about this whole rescuing Jack thing, worrying endlessly about storming the consulate of a foreign nation. After all, Russia might declare war, and then where’d everybody be?
Little Lord Fauntleroy assures him that it’s not about Jack, it’s about getting Anatoly Markov.
“But what about this being an act of war…”, Milo tries.
“We already got you the first time”, Little Lord Fauntleroy replies, and we don’t really care. “Now, why don’t you run off to the shooting range and hone your skills a bit? I’ll make sure to alert everybody already there to stand right next to the targets. That way, there’s no conceivable way they can get hurt.”
Bill tries to smooth the waters a bit by pointing out that, technically speaking, the possibility of a few diplomatic notes of concern, no matter how sternly worded, doesn’t strike him as near as important as the certainty of three nukes going off inside the U.S. if they don’t do something, and pretty damn quick too.
Milo tries desperately to wrap his brain around this, thinks better of it and goes back to playing with his toes for a while, then jumps up again and starts whining about Little Lord Fauntleroy being a jerk when he, as head of ops, starts giving orders.
“That’s not how we do things around here, you insenthitive bathtard!”, he lisps.
“Obviously it isn’t, or this season would’ve been over 10 episodes ago, but that’s how I do things”, Little Lord Fauntleroy replies, “and if you don’t stop pestering me, I’ll give you a wedgie ten times worse than the ones I used to give you in the Denver office!”
Token Arab Mole Chick waits for Little Lord Fauntleroy to leave, then asks Milo what that was all about.
“I don’t like him very much, he’s so mean“, Milo sobs.
“But does he know what he’s doing?”
“Heck yeah. He’s extremely good at what he does, which is another reason I don’t like him very much. He makes me feel so… inadequate”, Milo sniffles, then runs off to buy some chocolate from the vending machine.
At the consulate, Vasili the Chief Goon dumps Jack on the body of the guard that he shot in the back of the head last week, then calls Markov to tell him that he’s now going to shoot Jack and blame the guard’s death on him. Of course, Markov already knows this since he was the one who told him to do it, but the writers felt that it was necessary to spell it out for the audience. Also, they need to give Jack some time to pull off the dead guard’s belt which he, amazingly, accomplishes by pulling it the wrong way through the belt loops. Is there anything that Jack can’t do?
Of course there isn’t.
As Vasili aims his gun at Jack, Jack goes all Indiana Jones on him, using the belt as a whip. The gun flies through the air, Jack jumps, rolls, flies through the air and catches it with his teeth, then turns to Vasili, who decides to pull a knife. Well, we all know what happens when you bring a knife to a gun fight, don’t we?
Markov, who’s been watching on CCTV, tells the guards to go catch Jack, then orders them to cut off all outside communications in order to stop Jack from telling anybody about the Mojave Desert and Shadow Valley.
Meanwhile, Jack finds a wall phone and decides to call CTU, only to be cut off right after telling Al Bundy that he knows where Gredenko is. Of course, he could have grabbed poor Vasili’s cell phone, the one he’d been talking to Markov on, and used it instead, but what would be the fun in that?.
At CTU, Bill tells everybody that since Jack knows where Gredenko is, he is now indispensable, so no funny business about getting him whacked if they decide to storm the consulate. He then goes to tell President Weasel that their chat has been postponed due to recent developments. President Weasel immediately knows what’s up, the fact that he knows that Jack went back to the consulate may have been his first clue, and tells Buchanan that storming the consulate is a really bad idea, since Markov will kill himself rather than speak anyway.
“So what do you suggest, oh traitor boy?”, Bill asks.
“Well, if you could get my ex-wife to call President Subaru’s wife Anya, I’m sure that she can get President Subaru to order Markov to surrender himself.”
“Your very certifiable ex-wife who is now locked up in an asylum?”, Bill asks.
“Er, well… Yes. But she’s got a heart of gold!”
“And Markov, whom you’ve just assured me would rather die than talk to us, will then meekly surrender himself to us for interrogation?”
“Quit using logic! It frightens and confuses me as well as the writers of this show and, besides, that line wasn’t even in the script!”
“Oh why the Hell not. It doesn’t make a lick of sense, so the writers are going to force me to agree with you anyway”, Bill says. He further agrees to let President Weasel talk to Mad Martha in person, as if the poor woman hasn’t suffered enough already.
Outside, Little Lord Fauntleroy is showing everybody who’s alpha male now by trying to Force Choke Al Bundy, making a very bad impersonation of R. Lee Ermey and… Thankfully, everybody agrees to let him be the boss before he gets done unzipping his pants.
At the White House Bunker, Spineless Toad is led back to talk to Vice President Evil Neocon. The prospect of the dismissal of all charges along with the chance to implement his concentration camp plans seem to have made him forget all about his objections to framing Assad for the assassination attempt. Always looking out for #1, our friend Spineless Toad. However, he does insist that Bomb Dude and Reed face the consequences of their actions.
“Ah, but of course they will. We’re already looking for a few 20,000 acres of luxury estates where we can place them in ‘house arrest.’ We’ll deal with them later, but right now we have these nukes to deal with, and it wouldn’t be all that helpful if all of our critics were running around screaming ‘look at how bad the U.S. is, we’re worse than the terrorists! If I can’t talk to known terrorists in Afghanistan without the government listening in, then the terrorists have already won! No blood for oil!’”
Obviously VP Neocon hasn’t been reading any newspapers since 9/11, because that’s pretty much all they’ve been doing on a daily basis. No terrorist so vile, no act of terrorism so despicable that they won’t blissfully ignore it in favor of their objectively pro-al-Qaeda agenda.
“Oh, and I need you to tell Ambassador Raghead that you personally saw Assad plant the bomb and detonate it. Hope you don’t have a problem with that”, VP Neocon adds.
“But, but, that would be LYING!”, Spineless Toad protests.
“Or ‘politics’, as it’s also known. Here, look it up”, VP Neocon replies and hands Spineless Toad a copy of Roget’s thesaurus. Now get with the program, boy. Spineless Toad caves.
In the Mojave Desert, Fayed arrives with the nukes.
Meanwhile, Bill is talking to VP Neocon, explaining the situation about Jack, the consulate, the planned attack on it and President Weasel’s hare-brained plot to use Mad Martha.
After a good hearty laugh, VP Neocon tells Bill to go right ahead with his plans, but by all means pretend that President Weasel’s idea is going to work. Then, when it fails, storm the damn consulate.
Elsewhere, we once again get to meet our hero from last season, Aaron the SS Agent, who is bringing a bag of groceries to Mad Martha’s rubber cell, where she lives with all of her cats, painting the walls with feces and listening to NPR all day. While Mad Martha is busy unpacking the fresh fruit that Aaron brought, the show puts out a Needless Romantic Interlude Advisory but, thankfully, the phone rings before any real schmaltz can ensue. Aaron picks it up.
It is, of course, President Weasel, demanding to speak to Mad Martha. Rather than hanging up, Aaron tells Mad Martha who it is and that he wants to speak to her. For some reason, she’s not all that eager to talk to a megalomaniacal psychopath who tried to have her killed last season, but when President Weasel tells Aaron to mention the Subarus, she picks up the phone.
“You tried to have them killed AGAIN, you sick bastard?”
“Er, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. No, they’re fine, but I need your help getting them to do something for our nation.”
Mad Martha doesn’t believe him, strangely enough, considering his track record of absolute truthfulness, so President Weasel leaves it to Aaron to convince her while he rides over there in a chopper.
Back at the consulate, Jack is still rummaging around in the basement trying to find a phone while not getting himself killed by the approximately 300 AK-47-armed guards looking for him. He comes across a room where a Russian embassy worker is making out with a member of the secretary pool.
“Sorry to interrupt this charming and affectionate spectacle, but if you don’t cooperate, I’ll kill you both”, he says as he bursts into the room, gun at the ready, “now, if you’d kindly help me get in touch with my friends outside the consulate, preferably by giving me a satellite phone.”
“I’ve got this brand new Motorola Razr right here”, the Russian answers, helpfully pulling out his cell phone.
“I don’t think you heard me correctly. That would be too easy, and we still need a dramatic shootout between me and the guards in this episode.”
“Well, I DO have a satellite phone upstairs that I could go get. Of course, that would take quite a while, virtually guaranteeing that the guards find you at the last moment, just as you’re handing off the information to your friends which, again, will lead to an inevitable shootout.”
“Perfect!”, Jack says and sends the Russian on his way, keeping his girlfriend as a hostage. “Don’t be scared. You’ll be fine”, Jack reassures her, which for some reason fails to have the intended effect. Obviously she’s been watching past seasons of the show.
President Weasel arrives at the loony bin, where Aaron informs him that he’s persuaded Mad Martha to see him. As they walk inside, they learn that she’s un-persuaded herself and locked herself in the bedroom. Then she re-persuades herself and comes out anyway. With a bit of luck, she’ll manage to stay persuaded at least for a few minutes this time.
After the obligatory mutual unpleasantries, President Weasel tells her what’s going on with Markov, the nukes and the season ending of Days of Our Lives. After a remarkably tedious amount of back and forth and with a bit of help from Aaron who’d like for the damn scene to get over with already (so say we all!), she finally agrees to talk to Anya Subaru.
At the Bunker, Ambassador Raghead is being led in to speak to VP Neocon.
“Once again, I’d like to express my cond…”, he begins. Do they have some sort of automated recording that is set to go off every time they see a member of the Executive Branch? VP Neocon interrupts him:
“Oh, I’m sure of it. The citizens of your country dancing in the streets for hours surely looked hurt, sympathetic and full of grief to me. And that’s not counting the expression of deep regret on the face of your citizen, Assad’s face when he set off the bomb in the conference room, almost killing the President.”
“But that is preposterous!”, Ambassador Raghead protests.
“Is it, Tom?”, VP Neocon says, nudging Spineless Toad with his elbow, “didn’t you see Assad pushing the button on the detonator while screaming ‘Allah-u Akbar!’?”
“Er… Oh yes, Sir, I most certainly did.”
“But, Assad was not working for my government! He was as much a wanted man in our country as he was in yours!”, Ambassador Raghead protests again.
“Oh sure. That’s why he managed to operate with impunity for so many years. It’s also how his fellow countryman, Fayed, managed to operate for years, all the while being hunted like a dog by your government. When you weren’t busy funding them under the table and looking the other way, that is.”
“But we are your eternal frie…”
“Remind me of that one day when I might give a shit”, VP Neocon interrupts, “because right now I’ve just about had it with your guarantees of eternal friendship while you sit on your prayer rugs giggling at the gullible infidels. It’s all fun and games until somebody gets a city blown up. Which gave me an idea. If another bomb goes off in this country, then guess who I’m going to hold responsible?”
“But we had an understanding with President Allstate!”
“I’ll be sure to remind him of that when he wakes up from his coma. Of course, given that we have a carrier strike group within striking distance of every city of your country, and assuming that you guys continue to sit on your hands and do nothing about catching those terrorists until a second, third or fourth nuke goes off, there probably won’t be much of a country left for you to represent, if you get my drift…”
The ambassador, judging by the looks on his face, gets it quite well.
Chloe is trying to get through to Anya Subaru on the phone, but apparently there’s a very important meeting in the Omsk Knitting Society, so the rest of the world is just going to have to wait. Besides, there are still about fifteen minutes left of this episode, and we all know that everything has to happen in the last three.
At the nuthouse, Mad Martha is getting increasingly agitated, walking in circles and muttering to herself, telling the voices in her head to leave her alone. She goes to the kitchen and starts chopping up fruit with a rather sharp knife, then returns to the living room table while shouting at President Weasel, calling him all of the names she can think of.
Aaron the Terminator tells President Weasel that if he’d feel more comfortable waiting outside, it’d be OK. As always, Aaron’s advice is more than excellent and, equally predictable, President Weasel refuses to take it, which is how he ends up with a fruit knife sticking out of his shoulder and, unfortunately for him, buried in his clavicular artery. What’s even more unfortunate from his point of view is that he doesn’t have the sense to leave it in there.
“Look what you’ve done!”, Aaron shouts, “you’ve ruined the couch!”
“Why are they doing this to me?”, Mad Martha says after the agents slap handcuffs on her, “he’s a mass murderer! Somebody should give me a medal instead!”
All of us watching agree completely. Of course, that’s not how justice works. If you’re a mass murdering President responsible for assassinations and nerve gas attacks on malls, you get the Hugh Hefner mansion and an immunity deal. If you’re the one who helped stop him, you get a one-way ticket to the looney bin.
“I know, honey”, Aaron says, “but are you still capable of making the call to Anya?”
“Of course I am”, Mad Martha says, blood spattered all over her face, “it’s not like I’m crazy or anything.” She picks up the phone.
“Anya, how are you?”
“I’m fine, but I’ve been worried about you.”
“Oh, you darlin’ you, nothing to worry about. Just got done stabbing Charles in the neck, you know how exes get, and the city I’m in just got nuked, but other than that I’m great. Say, could you do me a favor, dearie?”
“Sure. Martha. What is it?”
“Nothing big, really, it’s just that this consul of yours, Markov I believe it is, is behind all of this thermonuclear unpleasantness, and our people would like to talk to him a bit. So could you please tell Yuri to tell him to give up his diplomatic immunity and hand himself over for interrogation? Oh, and that divine recipe for blinis you gave me? Could you send it to me again? I seem to have misplaced it.”
Back at the consulate, Little Lord Fauntleroy is getting his team ready to attack. Inside, Markov is on the phone with President Subaru, who has been convinced by his wife at some point during the last five seconds (those Russian girls work fast) to order Markov to hand himself over.
Of course, as we all know, that ain’t gonna happen, and Markov hangs up after having told President Subaru just that. President Subaru then calls Bill Buchanan and authorizes the assault.
In the basement of the consulate, the Russian guy returns with the sat phone and Jack dials CTU. Of course, this happens to be the exact moment that the guards finally finds Jack and burst into the room, shooting at everything that moves. Outside, Little Lord Fauntleroy launches his attack at the same time, and the Russian guards do their best Imperial Stormtrooper impersonation, missing everybody while being cut down in a matter of seconds. No wonder those guys got their asses kicked in Afghanistan.
Just as Jack runs out of ammo and gets ready to attack the remaining guards with his teeth, Lord Fauntleroy’s team breaks through to the basement and helpfully guns down the hapless Russians. Upstairs, Markov is on the phone with Gredenko, telling him that the gig is up and it’s time to launch the nuke-armed drones.
“Didn’t I already tell you that it would be another hour or two until we could do that?”, Gredenko protests, pointing out page 345 in the script to Markov where he clearly stated just that.
“Shut up! This latest plot development means that you’ll have to do it anyway, logic be damned!”
He then gets shot, very satisfyingly, by two members of the TAC team bursting through the door.
Jack meets up with Little Lord Fauntleroy, telling him that Gredenko is in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, pretending to be the leanest, meanest son-of-a-bitch in the Valley.
Which indeed he is, along with Fayed who informs us that the first drone is armed and ready to launch. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Or something.
Elsewhere, President Weasel flatlines in the ambulance, and he doesn’t even get to see his whole life pass before his eyes first.
Hundreds of thousands of viewers all across the nation erupt in cheers and catcalls.
Join us next week as Fayed launches his model airplane and we find out if President Weasel at least has the decency to stay dead.

For more, go to the Anti Idiotarian Rottweiler or http://www.nicedoggie.net/2007/

Democrats want to close Gitmo AND move the prisoners HERE!

2007-03-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

LINK: http://dyn.politico.com/printstory.cfm?uuid=2E2A4850-3048-5C12-00A7B247454E775D

Key House Democrats plan to insist the Pentagon shut down the detention camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and are contemplating the relocation of many of the 385 or so remaining terrorist suspects to military brigs along the East Coast -- including Quantico, Va., and Charleston, S.C.
"It sets us back in the war on terrorism to be maintaining Guantanamo," said Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.), who's heading an investigation of the facility for the House Defense Appropriations Subcommittee.
"It will enhance our reputation to close it down and to apply our system of justice to all of these detainees," he added.

OK, let's gut this dipwad. First, he wants to move the prisoners out of Gitmo. Shut it down. And not just move them out, but move these koranimals, stateside. Did I miss a frickin meeting? Isn't the purpose of Gitmo to keep these animals far enough from our shores that we're not in danger, but close enough to be questioned before any other attacks hit?

Yeah, I think it was, Jim. But this Democrap and his idiot pals think closing Gitmo is a great idea.

Why? To enhance our reputation with a bunch of transparent suck ups overseas, that's right, the Eurotrash. But probably their Islamo pals. The Euros wanna chastise us about prisons, they're the respective lands that fashioned the guillotine, the iron maiden, concentration camps, and Gestapo tactics. Screw em. The Germans let our Red Army Faction terrorists on parole, hoping they'll be reformed. However, if anyone slams a Muslim they're to be imprisoned for life, next to the SS camp guard serving life without parole. Europe is insane and they want to take us with them.

And Jim Moran and Jack Murtha and the stupid asses are willing to hand us over. Bet they're moving out of the US once the terrorists move in here.....Oh wait, they probably are here, thanks to porous borders..... thanks Democrats.

After two trips to Guantanamo, Moran told The Politico that he's recommending Congress cut funding to the detention center at the end of summer 2008. The men held there should then be released, tried or moved to the United States, he said.
A Democratic official involved in developing the Guantanamo strategy said the Democrats, who control the new Congress, expect Republicans to object to bringing the detainees onto U.S. soil because their attorneys would surely argue they were entitled to myriad new rights.

A myriad of rights? Wow, this is more Helsinki Syndrome than taking a ticket to Lapland. These morons want us to move the terrorists here, not for rights only. Try escape attempts and a prison break. Who wants these turds next door to their home? Not us. But the Democrats know better, so we don't matter....... By the way, thanks to the stupid voters who brought us this Congress and this Pandora's Box.....

The official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said Democrats are planning hearings in April or May to "build a record" that closing Guantanamo would be beneficial and that it would be legal, as well as logistically feasible, to bring its detainees to the United States. The hearings would start with panels of lawyers, some of whom are convinced the plan is workable and some of whom represent detainees now at Guantanamo.
And to make the measure more palatable to Republicans, Moran said he would suggest the detainees be transferred to military bases that would allow them to be tried in federal courts under the Richmond-based 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.
"Republicans certainly could not consider that a mollycoddling, liberal bastion," Moran said. "The 4th Circuit is as conservative as you get. But the whole world would see that the United States stands for the rule of law. And I think the high-value targets would be shown to be people who undoubtedly should be detained and prosecuted.
"But you've got to distinguish among these people," he said. "We have to prove they actually did something that was designed to hurt American citizens."

Have to prove? Prove that these 7th Century animals want us dead? Check out Al Jazeera you stupid fuck! Prove they conspire? Check out their blogs, check out their records. Check out the fact they were apprehended firing fucking weapons at our troops and plotting to kill civilians. Jim Moran, we got a nice section of rope and a tree branch for you. Swing you bastard! Swing!

And don't give us that shit about conservative courts. You'll make sure the terrorists cases go to the most liberal fucking judge Clinton appointee. And when they're out, supposedly finding Allah and peaceful you'll let em go.

Count the days til this backfires and we lose lives.....

A senior administration official, also speaking on the condition of anonymity, said he was puzzled by the Democrats' frequent discussion of closing Guantanamo.
"While we want to bring these guys to trial as quickly as possible, where do Democrats believe we should keep Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of the 9/11 plot?" the official asked. "Which American city will they choose to place America's most wanted terrorists?"
The Democratic official said the plan would be to relocate the terrorists to military brigs that have suitable courtrooms. In addition to Quantico and Charleston, many could go to Fort Leavenworth, Kan., or to the Norfolk Naval Station, which has four courtrooms.

High populated areas, soon to be home for hundreds of terrorists. I got a solution. Truck those bastards out to Jack Murtha's house, or Jim Moron's townhome in DC. You wanna move em? Let these terrorists bunk with you. Then when you're holding a flashlight and a fucking gun like Borat being scared of Jews, then you'll see the terrorists NEEDED to be kept away from our shore. Of course it may be hard for you to scream after a practitioner of the religion of peace saws through your neck and removes your fucking head!

Still other possibilities include the Marine Corps Air Station in Beaufort, S.C., and Fort Gordon, Fort Stewart and Hunter Army Airfield, all in Georgia.

Here's a better sight, the Nuclear Proving Grounds in NEvada, and we can light one off for old times sake! The libs will wanna keep track of terrorists. They suggest chip implants, GPS trackers. I have a foolproof way of keeping track of these goatfuckers. Burial plots! Toe tags! Kill them before they kill us. If not, don't fuckin cry when we get hit worse than ever! What thinking man wants this? Who?

In the flush of taking control of the House in January, Democrats had talked about pushing to close Guantanamo immediately, perhaps as part of the emergency wartime funding bill that is now pending. But they had trouble settling on a strategy for that bill and now are considering a shutdown directive in the overall defense appropriations bill for the 2008 fiscal year that begins Oct. 1.
The prison camp at the U.S. Naval Base at Guantanamo Bay has been a constant headache for the Bush administration, which has been accused of holding innocent people there indefinitely. Hunger strikes, suicides and accusations of inappropriate interrogations have plagued the facility, home to what the White House calls some of the world's most dangerous terrorists.
U.S. allies abroad have complained about Guantanamo as well. And the president has said that he would like to close it down but that there is no other place to hold the detainees.

Inappropriate interrogations? You think if reversed these savages would bat an eyelash before holding a blow torch your feet to make you talk? Or maybe attach them roach clips to your nads before frying em up? Or they'll just cut your head off with a dull fuckin sarissan sword. Yeah, yeah, improper interrogations, suicides, hunger strikes.

Let em fuckin starve! They starved their own and lived pretty good. Suicides? By all means, let em, and make sure they endure some pain. Ask those Israelis who lost arms and legs and eyes how bad they feel for some terrorist with a bellyache. Ask that 9/11 survivor how teary they are if some terrorist shitbag takes himself out of the fuckin gene pool! Not very, unless you're the Jersey Girls or some idjit who forgot about 9/11 already.

Asked about the furor that could erupt in local communities chosen to receive the detainees, Moran noted that the brigs were secure and that most of the detainees had not "been involved in any combat."
"Many of them have never engaged in any act of violence," Moran said. "Some of them hold beliefs that are anathema to ours, but we have a tradition that we don't punish people for their beliefs but rather for their actions."

Oh, never fired a shot in anger! Awwww. Jim wants to give these sheep rapists a chance to fire that shot in anger. They're in combat, they support the jihadists. No less guilty than the Nazis who clapped when Jews were gassed, but then acted repenant when the Nuremburg Tribunual had a rope around their fuckin necks!

No act of violence? Yeah, I suppose all these terrorists are peaceful little mooselimbs who don't wanna kill anyone. Except if you're a Jew. Or a Christian. Or a moderate Muslim. Or British, or American, or anyone who's not a radical Islamist piece of shit, or some coddler like Jim Moran.

Don't worry Jim, you'll be the last these bastards kill after their take over......

Thanks Democrats. Thanks for another nail in America's coffin.

24 Update, From Last Week

2007-03-06T05:03:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the tardy posting, been busy with work and life.....

4:00:00 to 4:12:32

Whistler calls Sameer Nagonaworkhere and basically, they need another three hours to put together the warheads and the delivery systems, thus setting up the time frame for the next 3 - 4 episodes. Apparently, they intend to deliver the bombs using some kind of stealthy drone built with "American taxpayer dollars."
V the K: (raising his hand) Question?
24 Producer: (rolling eyes) What is it, Mr the K?
V the K: "Why do they need to steal drones when the terrorists have already shown they have suicide bombers? We've seen they can pretty much fly helicopters anywhere they want, so we know there are no airspace restrictions in effect. So, wouldn't it be easier for them just to get a few Piper Cubs and ...Ow! Stop hitting me!

Back at the batcave, President Jim Belushi has a new aide, who looks like Sondra from Space 1999. Belushi is receiving the Ambassador from Durkadurkastan. The Ambassador and Bashir get along like Rosie and Donald. "I recognize Mr. Bashir. He's the terrorist who killed my seven year old son." "No, you're the terrorist," Bashir says. "Nunh Unh." "Unh Huh!" "You're fat!" "You have icky hair!" Belushi presents his "smarter, tougher" scheme to end terrorism. "Bashir will tell all the terrorists to disarm, chill, and open up 7-11's... and, voila, peace will rule." But his plan requires that all three of them go on TV and sing "Kum Ba Yah" together. The Ambassador balks, but then Belushi threatens to lock him in a Motel Six with his sister Cynthia McKinney Belushi for a 227 marathon. The ambassador collapses and begs for mercy. Belushi whacks him with his cell phone. Also at the batcave, Rodent Boy escorts the assassin, Random Task, through security. Their plan is simple: detonate the bomb when Bashir and Belushi are together. Make it look like one of those suicide bombings CAIR tells us never happen.

Back at CTU, Jack calls in from the Grand Mal hotel. He needs a helicopter to take to Chuck Logan's place in Hidden Valley, where the former president runs a successful ranch dressing business. It seems that after the former president assassinated David Palmer, conspired with terrorists to mass murder Americans, and attempted to murder his own SecDef, he was essentially sentenced to a "time-out." Chiggy agrees to send a chopper since Chuck "Obi-Wan" Logan is their last hope. As he leaves the hotel, Jack sees Patsy Ramsey Bauer and Jack Junior. Jack promises to explain everything to Jack Jr. when all this is over (in about 13 hours). That conversation will probably begin, "You see, when a man loves his brother's wife very much..."

4:16:55 to 4:23:38

Al Bundy has been trying to decode some hoosahmuhfudge from the Russian Safe House and failing. RPF suggests he tries reversing the polarity and triaxilating the subspace harmonics. "Of course, why didn't I think of that." Then she tells him he should call his sponsor. He says he already did. Then, RPF gets confronted by Awana Fuqya, who wants Al Bundy relieved from duty because she thinks he's been drinking. She also found a pack of cigarettes in Greg Brady's letterman jacket, and she's going to tattle about that, too.

Jack arrives at Hidden Valley Ranch after a semi-realistic 10-minute chopper ride. Obi-Wan Logan claims that the time-out worked, he's had time to think about what he has done, and he knows of someone who can help Jack recover the nukes, the Russian Consul, Ivana Jackoff. Jack scoffs, "CTU checked him out already." "He won't talk to you, but he'll talk to me," Obi-Wan says. Jack agrees to put on a suit and go with Obi-Wan to that "wretched hive of scum and villainy" known as the Russian Consulate,

4:28:03 to 4:34:58

Jack calls President Belushi. Belushi is not down with the plan because he thinks Obi-Wan will try to escape. Meanwhile, in the basement of the Batcave, Rodent Boy comes in, "Is it a bomb yet?" Random Task hits him with a wooden spoon. "It'll be ready when it's ready," Rodent Boy realizes the import of their plot. "Dude, we are like killing the president." "Dude," Random Task agrees. Then, they air guitar each other.

Back at CTU, Chiggy Killer is handing out assignments. "Bundy, you're out. RPF, take over for Bundy." But then, Bundy makes the Puss 'n' Boots face and Chiggy keeps him on, over the objections of Awana Fuqya, who thinks he has a drinking problem. "I do not have a drinking problem" Bundy insists as he dumps a glass of water into his eye socket.

4:39: 22 to 4:49:13

Awana Fuqya is still gunning for Bundy, and she's ready to nail him for not putting the right covers on his TPS reports. Then, RPF gets a call from Bundy's sponsor, and finds out he hasn't called her in like two years. So, then RPF busts in on him while he's on the toilet. "J'accuse!" she confronts him about lying about talking to his sponsor. "Wrong sponsor," he tells her. Chastened, she leaves, and we find out he really was drinking. Who cares? Why has valuable "Jack killing people" time been wasted with this stupid sub-plot?

Meanwhile, a naked Obi-Wan Logan talks to himself in the mirror. "Would you f**k me? I'd f**k me. I'd f**k me hard."

Back at the Batcave, Caged Weasel is coughing, so Rodent Boy takes pity on him, takes off his gag, spits on a handkerchief and wipes the smudges off his bald little head. He asks Weasel if he was ever really on their side. Weasel says no, so Rodent Boy bites him on the cheek and gives him rabies. RB then checks on Random Task, who has finished turning his tape recorder and two highlighters into a bomb, and hands it over to Rodent Boy to put on the president's podium.

4:53:35 to 4:59:59

So, Rodent Boy discreetly places the bomb in the podium. Bashir spots it before it goes off, but it explodes in to a "goodness gracious great ball of fire" probably large enough to wound the president without killing him, but good enough to put VP Jim Jones in charge of the country.Tick-Tock.

24 Update, B4B Style

2007-02-20T07:30:00.000-08:00

03:00:00 to 03:09:46

OK, so we got Whistler trying to use nukes to start a war between the USA and "Arab Nations." We got Zefram Cochrane Bauer trying to kill Jack and Jack Jr. We got VP Jim Jones plotting to whack president Jim Belushi. And the question on everyone's mind... what the hell Britney? Why'd you shave your head?

Jack picks himself up after last week's explosion and follows in hot pursuit of Patsy Ramsey Bauer and Griff (Kemper). Zef's thugs call in and erroneously report in that Jack is dead. Zef orders them to take Patsy alive so he can find Whistler. Griff and Patsy hid behind a dumpster, and Griff tells Patsy to run while he gives her cover, but almost ends up sacrificing himself for nothing because the silly she-ho doesn't know the meaning of the word "run." Just as Zef's thugs are about to finish off Griff, Jack shows up and whacks one of the thugs, then he offs the other thug, and he's about whack off the third thug, but the thug surrenders. Jack takes a look at Griff's bullet wound and says, "Oh, Snap! Stop cryin', y'big sissy. Who d'ya think you are, Tonya harding?" Then, he turns the charm on Patsy, by which I mean he holds a gun to her face, and she starts singing like Roseanne Arnold. She tells Jack it was Zef who set up the exploding house deal and gives up Whistler's safe house -- 9124 Russian Safehouse Street -- and Jack passes it on to CTU.

"How could I have been so stupid," Jack asks himself, remembering that horrible Simpsons episode he did.

3:12:12 to 3:21:22

Back at CTU, everybody is rubbing it into Al Bundy about what a big hero Griff is, and Bundy goes off. "That's all I ever hear about, anymore. Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!" Also, Bundy and Griff had a long-standing bet that if Griff was ever a hero on the same day Bundy helped terrorists arm nukes, Bundy had to become Griff's slave-for-life.

Jack has Patsy call Zef and tell him she'll give up Whistler's location to him, but only in person so she knows Jack Jr is safe. At the Grandma (or Grand Mal) Hotel, Jack Jr is listening in as Zef talks to Patsy about whacking him off. Jack Jr is slightly perturbed by this and tries to escape, but Zef whips out a gun on him and tells him he'll do anything to preserve the family legacy... even if it means killing every possible heir to that legacy.

3:25:46 to 3:32:16

In the Batcave, Caged Weasel hands over President Belushi's itinerary to Rodent Boy. Rodent Boy is pleased, "Great, now all we need is for you to use your security code to get the assassin into the Batcave so he can whack off the president." Caged Weasel hesitates, "Won't using my security codes implicate, um, ME?" Rodent Boy shrugs it off, "Don't worry. We'll blame Richard Jewell."

Meanwhile, Whistler ... oh, who cares it's just a filler scene.

Back in La-La Land, Al Bundy has stepped out to the Kwik-E-Mart to pick up a Red Bull, a pint of Old MacCutcheon 60, and some Altoids. I swear I saw McGuyver make a potent explosive out of those same ingredients, once. Outside the Kwik-E-Mart, Bundy suddenly remembers the episode of the Simpsons Kiefer Sutherland was in and vomits. Just then, RPF calls him and tells him, "the tac team is about to whack off Whistler, and we need you at your station."

In the hotel parking lot, Jack hands Patsy Ramsey a bulletproof best. "Here, put this on." Fondly, she remembers Jack used those exact same words the night Jack Jr was conceived. Then, they head up to the hotel room accompanied by a man in handcuffs ... once again, just like the night Jack Jr was conceived.

3:36:44 to 3:46:57

At CTU, Al Bundy goes into the Infirmary to check on Griff. In the Batcave, Caged Weasel tries to warn security about the plot to assassinate the president, but Rodent Boy listens in and then whacks him with a flashlight, but does not off him.

CTU prepares to launch the operation against Whistler's safehouse. RPF smells alcohol on Al's breath, and can't seem to understand why a guy who was tortured with a power drill and forced to program a nuke for terrorists less than two hours ago might want to take a drink. She tells him to call his sponsor. "Verizon, Nissan, or '23' starring Jim Carrey?" (Heh.) The CTU tac team moves in on the safe house Patsy Ramsey identified, but of course it turns out to be empty.

Zef's hotel room also turns out to be empty when Jack and Patsy get inside. They get a call from Zef and see that Zef and Jack Jr are across the street standing on the roof, with Zef pointing a gun at Jack Jr's head. Jack offers to surrender himself in return for Jack Jr being let go. Zef agrees. Jack then punches out the terrorist thug. "You know, Zef has already paid for the room..." Patsy points out.

3:51:24 to 3:59:59

RPF tells Griff that Al took a drink, but he did not metabolize the alcohol, Clinton wishes he had thought of that one.

Back at the roof of the Grand Mal Hotel, Jack prepares to surrender himself in exchange for Jack Jr. He lifts his shirt to show he's not armed. Zef makes him turn around and show some ankle, then jiggle a little bit. Satisfied, he orders Jack to move forward while Jack Jr moves away. Zef gives Jack a spiel about "I'm a patriot," and "you abandoned me." yadda-yadda-yadda. Then, he orders Jack to get on his knees and prepare to be whacked. Jack seems almost relieved that he's about to die, gives some lame speech about how he never meant to let his father down, he was only trying to live up to his expectations. Jack faintly hears someone whisper, "Beam me up." When, he turns around, Zef is gone, leaving only a a cell phone. A number on the cell-phone reaches Ex-President Weasel from last season. He's looking a little grungy, and he's talking like a stoner explaining Pink Floyd's The Wall, but he claims he can help Jack get to Whistler, for some unspecified personal benefit.

Tick-Tock.

Valentines Shmalentines

2007-02-13T12:20:00.000-08:00

OK, not to sound frickin bitter, but why in the hell is Valentine's Day more important than say your wedding anniversary, or a birthday, or I dunno, any day that's not made up Hallmark and pushed by the Chocolate and Flower Lobbyists?

Seriously, St. Valentine was a martyr, burned or cut up or something bad. Romantic? Awwwww, he's bright red! He's blushing. Ugh, he's bleeding, ewwwwww.

Not to sound upset. First, I'm single, Dee dee dee. Figured that out, right? No gal, but no problem. If you ain't found someone of interest, why pursue for the sake of status or some craptacular guilt trip to keep up with everyone else's relationship. Be your own person. To those who celebrate, have fun, enjoy the chocies and flowers, and that heart shaped sirloin at dinner. For those who think it's just any other day, you're right. If you're together with someone, make sure Valentine's Day is celebrated, but don't out due your anniversary. IF that happens, you might get your calls screened.

Nor, do you need to make up for it by dressing up as cupid in nothing but a frickin diaper. Thank God I never did that.

Anyway, rant over. Those in relations, keep celebrating each day as good as the next, without selling out to Hallmark. Those without, just be patient. Someday.

Holocaust scholar attacked in San Fran hotel.....tolerant libs strike again!

2007-02-09T14:38:00.000-08:00

SAN FRANCISCO - In a bizarre attack, a well-known author and Holocaust scholar was dragged out of a San Francisco hotel elevator by an apparent Holocaust denier who reportedly had been trailing him for weeks.

Police escorted Elie Wiesel to San Francisco International Airport on Feb. 1 after a man accosted Wiesel in the elevator at the Argent Hotel, at 50 Third St., after Wiesel participated in a panel discussion at a peace conference and before Wiesel was scheduled to catch a flight back to New York.

Wiesel, a Holocaust survivor and author of more than 40 books, including the memoir “Night,” about his experiences at Auschwitz, won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986. Last fall, the Boston University professor was suggested as a possible replacement for Israeli President Moshe Katsav, who faces sexual assault charges.

Police confirmed this week that the attack took place and that officers escorted Wiesel to the airport following the attack. According to police, the suspect accosted Wiesel in the hotel elevator at around 6:30 p.m., saying he wanted to interview him. Wiesel said he would do the interview in the lobby. That’s when the attacker pulled him out of the elevator, police reported.

In a posting Tuesday on the anti-Zionist Web site ZioPedia, a writer using the name Eric Hunt takes credit for the attack: “After ensuring no women would be traumatized by what I had to do (I had been trailing Wiesel for weeks), I stopped the elevator at the sixth floor. I pulled Wiesel out of the elevator. I said I wanted to interview him.”

Wiesel grabbed at his chest and yelled for help, according to the posting. “I told him, ‘Why don’t you want people to know the truth?’ His expression changed, and he began screaming again. …” the posting reads.Police reported that the suspect tried to force Wiesel into one of the rooms, but ran away when Wiesel started yelling.

The online posting states that the writer intended to “bring Wiesel to my hotel room where he would truthfully answer my questions regarding the fact that his non-fiction Holocaust memoir, Night, is almost entirely fictitious.” Later in the posting, the Holocaust is portrayed as a “myth.”

Police haven’t officially idenitifed a suspect, but a source close to the investigation said Eric Hunt is the focus of their probe. Wiesel was in town to speak at the RockRose Institute’s World Conference 2007, Facing Violence, which addressed justice, religion and conflict resolution, according to its press release. The conference included former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and Juan Mendez, adviser to the U.N. secretary-general, in its list of speakers.

Hotel security alerted police following the incident, and officers from Southern Station arrived at the scene.

amartin@examiner.com

Examiner

Military Detractor Slammed by O Reilly and others.....

2007-02-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

Bill O'Reilly Skewers NBC Military 'Expert'

Reprint Information
O'Reilly Skewers NBC Military 'Expert'

Report Says Pentagon Manipulated Pre-War Intel
Hillary Blasts 'Hate-Filled' Palestinian Texts
Gates: Proof Iran Is Helping Terrorists in Iraq
Walter Cronkite: Media Profits Threaten Freedom

A rabid left-wing, antiwar writer, William M. Arkin, billed as an expert on military affairs by the Washington Post and NBC News as a "military analyst,” has described U.S. troops in Iraq as "mercenaries” who are being spoiled rotten by U.S. taxpayers with the "obscene amenities” being sent them.

His comments have ignited a firestorm among fellow journalists who fully support and admire the men and women serving in harm’s way in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Arkin has become a prime target of Fox News Channel's Bill O’Reilly who has been crusading about media bias, and NBC's noticeable tilt to the left.

Columnist Michelle Malkin has called Arkin a "thug” and a "radical left wing loon.”

Writing in a Washington Post blog, in his "Early Warning: William M. Arkin on National and Homeland Security” column, Arkin took exception to American servicemen and women who dare to question the lack of support for the war by the folks back home.

Here’s part of what he wrote: "I've been mulling over an NBC Nightly News report from Iraq last Friday in which a number of soldiers expressed frustration with opposition to war in the United States.

"I'm sure the soldiers were expressing a majority opinion common amongst the ranks - that's why it is news . . . These soldiers should be grateful that the American public, which by all polls overwhelmingly disapprove of the Iraq war and the president's handling of it, do still offer their support to them, and their respect.

"Through every Abu Ghraib and Haditha, through every rape and murder, the American public has indulged those in uniform, accepting that the incidents were the product of bad apples or even of some administration or command order . . .

"So, we pay the soldiers a decent wage, take care of their families, provide them with housing and medical care and vast social support systems and ship obscene amenities into the war zone for them, we support them in every possible way, and their attitude is that we should, in addition, roll over and play dead, defer to the military and the generals and let them fight their war, and give up our rights and responsibilities to speak up because they are above society? . . .

". . . this NBC report is just an ugly reminder of the price we pay for a mercenary - oops sorry, volunteer - force that thinks it is doing the dirty work.”

Just who is this Bill Arkin, and where does he stand in the political spectrum?

According to the Washington Post, Arkin is a "former Army intelligence analyst and consultant.” Back in the 1970s Arkin served as Deputy Chief of Staff for Intelligence of the U.S. Commander in Berlin, Germany.

Pretty impressive background for someone claiming to be an expert on military affairs, but that’s only half the story. Not mentioned by the Post or NBC is his background as a member of a whole slew of ultra far-left groups.

Among his leftist affiliations:

The Institute for Policy Studies where he was director of the national security program and the Arms Race and Nuclear Weapons Research Project, 1981-1989. The IPS is known as a far-left Washington, DC-based think tank that describes itself as having "transformed ideas into action for peace, justice, and the environment for more than four decades.”

Greenpeace USA where he was political director from 1989-90; director of the nuclear information unit, and director of military research 1989-94)

National Resources Defense Council consultant to the nuclear program (1980)

Human Rights Watch, former military consultant (1994)

He was also military affairs columnist (2001-2004) at the liberal Los Angeles Times.

In a speech at the U.S. Naval War College on September 25, 2002. Arkin launched what the Weekly Standard described as a "lengthy and vitriolic attack on the Bush administration, where he admitted to feeling "cynical about the fact that we are going to war to enhance the economic interests of the Enron class," and declared that "the war against terrorism is overstated."

Wrote Hugh Hewitt in the Standard, Arkin "believed, in fact, that the war ‘is not the core United States national security interest today.’ He rhetorically asked the audience: ‘Aren't I just another leftist, self-hating American?’ and condemned the administration for taking ‘"enormous liberties with American freedoms.'"

Appearing on Fox News Channel's "The Big Story," an unapologetic Arkin told host John Gibson: "I'm not going to take back what I said . . . I write an opinion column, and one of the things that I wrote about was my own sense of a growing feeling of intolerance - amongst those who are in uniform and those who support the war - for any dissent. And the reaction to my piece proves my point."

"Let's remember one thing about the all-volunteer army,” Arkin continued, "this is the first war in 30 years since we've had an all-volunteer army that we're losing. They are hoping that the new strategy and new military leadership and a shot of adrenaline is going to make a difference, but there's not a soul who would claim that we are winning in Iraq.”

He then added a new slander of U.S troops – they don’t know what they’re talking about: "The reality is, people can support the troops and not support the war, and the fact that these guys in uniform don't understand that tells me that they are badly-schooled in the realities of American government and politics.”

All of this prompted Bill O’Reilly to hit the roof. On his Feb. 5 "O’Reilly Factor" broadcast the host stormed:

"In a stunning display of hatred, NBC News military analyst William Arkin wrote two Internet columns chastising members of the United States Armed Forces for daring to criticize civilian dissenters of the Iraq war.”

Said O’Reilly: "It is hard to believe that any responsible person would attack the military in this very personal way. Arkin implies that Abu Ghraib and Haditha define how Americans have performed in Iraq and flat out calls our military people mercenaries. That is folks who fight solely for money, have no patriotic intent at all.

"Ironically, the American military has fought for centuries to allow Arkin the right to say these vile things."

Arkin, O’Reilly said, "has been a military hater for some time. He wrote a book called 'Code Names,' where he exposed more than 3,000 coded titles, some of which were still classified. So there's no question, Arkin is an agenda driven guy. The question is why would the Washington Post and NBC News hire a person like Arkin?"

Fox commentator Michelle Malkin went O’Reilly one better during the show when she said "I think NBC News and the Washington Post and anyone who gives this man a platform ought to be very clear and transparent with the public about what he is. He's an intellectual coward. He's a thug. And he's a radical left-wing loon.”

Malkin, however, found a reason to be happy with Arkin’s shameful comments: "Let a thousand Arkins bloom so we can just see how naked their hatred of the troops is,” she suggested.

On that same show, retired Army Maj. General Bob Scales knew what to do about Arkin, telling O’Reilly, "I think we ought to have some sympathy for poor Mr. Arkin's problem. I think his problem is that he's envious of these obscene amenities that our young men and women are receiving in Iraq.

"I mean, we can fix this problem, Bill," Scales continued. "I mean, I know General Petraeus. I'm sure that we could find a way, find a billet for Mr. Arkin in Iraq somewhere, perhaps the 1st Brigade or the 3rd Infantry Division, off to this resort town called Ramadi, you know, with its condos."

Said O’Reilly: "Arkin would last about 15 seconds there.”

Pelosi wants a Queenly Jet, and Murtha backs her as a lacky

2007-02-08T12:07:00.000-08:00

LINK: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/02/08/MNGN5O11UT1.DTL&type=printable

(02-08) 04:00 PST Washington -- The way Speaker Nancy Pelosi will travel home to San Francisco and on official business is the latest tempest to hit the House of Representatives.

The speaker of the House has been provided a jet from the government fleet to use for official business since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks because of security concerns.

Former Republican Speaker Dennis Hastert used a military 12-seat jet to carry him mainly from Washington's Andrews Air Force Base to airports near his home district in Chicago's suburbs.

Top House Republicans such as Minority Whip Roy Blunt of Missouri and Rep. Adam Putnam of Florida, chairman of the House Republican Conference, agree the speaker merits the use of a military jet for security reasons, but say Pelosi has been pressing the Pentagon to provide her with a bigger jet than used by Hastert so she can ferry family, other lawmakers and lobbyists across the country.

Pelosi and her staff scoff at the criticism, saying she has just asked the Pentagon for guidance because of the travel distance to California and even President Bush believes security concerns warrant military aircraft for her.

But Putnam said Pelosi's bid for a bigger plane, which he dubbed "Air Force Three,'' shows "an arrogance of office that just defies common sense'' and constitutes a major deviation from the previous speaker's perks. He argued that Pelosi should settle for a smaller plane even if it means having to stop for refueling while traveling to and from California.

Putnam, leading the Republican attack, said Pelosi should make public her flight itineraries and passenger lists on taxpayer-owned jets. The speaker's staff said such requests are premature because they are still trying to clarify the rules for using government planes.

Blunt said Pelosi wants a flying Lincoln bedroom, referring to the furor of the Clinton years when it was disclosed that big donors to President Bill Clinton got to sleep in the historic White House room.

"Our members are not persuaded by the argument that stopping to refuel on the way home will be too big a challenge,'' said Blunt.

Asked about the controversy, which arose after leaks from the Bush administration to the conservative Washington Times, Pelosi said her opponents are trying to stir up trouble where there is none.

She said Bill Livingood, the House sergeant-at-arms whom Hastert appointed to the job in 1995, was negotiating with the Air Force about what plane from the government fleet of passenger jets should be made available when she needs it. The plane also would be used on other government missions.

"It has everything to do with security,'' Pelosi said. She added that Bush had personally told her that because the speaker is second in line of presidential succession, behind Vice President Dick Cheney, he was concerned about her security.

That concern apparently included the desire that Pelosi's plane not land for refueling.

Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., the Pelosi ally who chairs the House military appropriations subcommittee, said he has spoken to Pentagon officials about the need to provide Pelosi with a bigger plane that can fly passengers coast to coast in comfort.

But he denied pressuring the Pentagon. "I don't need to pressure them. I just tell them what they need to do,'' Murtha said.

A statement from Livingood said that although Hastert used a military jet with a 2,000-mile range, the House bureaucracy is unsure of the rules for air travel. For instance, it isn't clear if Pelosi can carry staff, family or other members of Congress at government expense or whether she could use government planes for political travel.

No information was immediately available about the number of trips Hastert took in military aircraft nor the rules for their usage while he was speaker.

Livingood, a 31-year veteran of the Secret Service, said he was talking with the Air Force to work out guidelines for the speaker's flights. Pelosi's office received a letter from the Pentagon late Wednesday offering her the continued use of the plane used by Hastert and negotiations will continue, source said.

Navy Cmdr. Jefrey Gordon, a Pentagon spokesman, told the Associated Press Wednesday that Pelosi will be offered "shuttle service for no more than 10 passengers between Washington and San Francisco only based on aircraft availability."

"This does not guarantee nonstop transport," Gordon said.

Pelosi also said that her celebrity as the first female speaker has upgraded security concerns from the U.S. Capitol Police who guard her and other top congressional leaders. "As the first woman speaker they think there is a need for increased security,'' she said.

Wherever she goes, even within the Capitol, the speaker is accompanied by several plainclothes security officers.

Murtha said House speakers' use of military planes preceded Sept. 11, 2001. He said he had interceded on behalf of former Democratic Speakers Thomas "Tip" O'Neill and Jim Wright on occasion to get them access to military aircraft.

Murtha said he is convinced the Pentagon has been leaking information about the possibility that Pelosi would use large military planes to make her look bad. But he said, "They're making a mistake when they leak it because she decides on allocations for them,'' referring to the Pentagon budget.

Pelosi, who has served in the House since 1987, has customarily flown commercial flights on trips to and from California.

Her spokesman, Brendan Daly, said Pelosi has used a military craft once to fly to California and back since she became speaker in early January. Daly said he was uncertain what kind of aircraft Pelosi had flown in, but said it was a plane that Hastert had used as speaker.

Daly had no information on the cost of the flight.

Among the models in the Air Force fleet that Pelosi could use to fly nonstop to San Francisco is the C-37, a 16-seat business jet made by Gulfstream with a range of 5,600 miles.

The C-40B, a military version of the Boeing 737, was built especially to carry members of the Cabinet and Congress, Boeing says. What the company calls the flying "office in the sky" can carry 42 to 111 passengers, depending on its configuration.

The Air Force said the plane features "a crew rest area, distinguished visitor compartment with sleep accommodations, two galleys and business class seating with worktables.''

But Republicans charged that Pelosi would use the biggest aircraft available -- a C-32, which is a configuration of the Boeing 757 with a four-section passenger area. Daly also slammed GOP critics for the plane story, which has circulated on conservative talk radio and Internet blogs.

"They're trying to make something out of something that's not there. They have nothing else to talk about so they're making an issue of this,'' he said.

E-mail Edward Epstein at eepstein@sfchronicle.com.

Would Her Majesty also like a nice Gold Carriage with White Horses and the Hope Diamond in her crown? Oh wait, that's gonna be Queen Hillary when the lemmings try to get her into office.

this the new direction the Democrats want. Well, rather it's the old direction of their Tammany Hall tactics. Corruption, cronyism, and cockamamie antics.

Thanks for the new Congress, stupid voters.

Another 24 Update

2007-02-06T07:29:00.000-08:00

B4B Style, thanks dudes.....

12:00:00 to 12:10:12

This episode opens with a reporter standing at the edge of Valencia, talking about how they think over 800,000,000 people are already dead, and survivors have gathered in the civic center and the Superdome, where they are believed to be resorting to cannibalism. Back in the Batcave, Caged Weasel is trying to get President Chappelle to sign off on an executive order essential imposing Martian Law!! Chapelle asks for his cabinet to convene in thirty minutes, and wants clarification on whether under Martian Law, doctors and other wizards will be forbidden. (By the way, cell phones seem to work perfectly well in the Batcave.)

Chiggy and Russet Potato Face (RPF) are worried that Jack is out of contact. "It's his network," Chiggy explains. "He switched from Verizon to Cingular because Steve Jobs incoroporated a Death Ray into the iPhone, but unfortunately, his coverage sucks."

Meanwhile, Jack and his Dad, Zephram Cochrane, are in a van with a couple of thugs who don't know that they're about to die. One of the thugs whom I shall call Marcellus (because he looks like a b*tch) tells Rocket Romano (via cell phone, the Verizon network is incredibly resilient to nuclear blasts) that he'll soon kill Jack, and Rocket Romano promises to return the suitcase that has his soul in it. Zephram Cochrane apologizes to Jack, "I kinda knew all along your brother was evil, but, you know, I just never had time to deal with it. You know, cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon and all that." Jack is not in a forgiving mood. "You can shove little boy blue and the man in the moon up your ass."

The van arrives at an old abandoned quarry and Marcellus orders them out of the van. He indicates a freshly dug grave and orders them on their knees. "I don't swing that way," Jack says, and some violence ensues, and Zephram Cochrane offs Marcellus and the other thug. "Oh, Snap! Dad, I barely got to torture them," Jack pouts.

Meanwhile, Tom Willis and the Suspicious Bimbo are in a motel room. Tom Willis has found a man who can program the nuke, but he won't work willingly. "He'll need to be coerced," he tells Imhotep.

12:15:35 to 12:23:29

Chiggy and Token Chick have intercepted Tom Willis and Imhotep's call. There was also an image in the stream, which Al Bundy is working on recovering. Back at Casa Bauer, Jack and the assault team, prepare to move in. Jack tells his dad, "This warp drive invention of yours is amazing. We actually made it to my brother's house before we left the quarry." Inside the house, Rocket Romano, Patsy Ramsey Bauer, and Jack "Wesson Oil" Junior are having an argument. Rocket Romano wants to have Family Home Evening, but Patsy Ramsey points out that it's noon... and they're not Mormons. Just then, the door explodes, and a heavily armed SWAT Team moves in.

While Rocket Romano is pinned to the floor, Jack and Patsy Ramsey go into the kitchen for a quickie nooner. Then Jack offers to protect Jack Junior, and Patsy Ramsey... the only character who seems to have paid attention during the last six seasons... freaks out. "No," she cries. "I want him to live!" Jack sends them to CTU and goes back into the house to torture his brother.

12:27:54 to 12:36:06

Jack brandishes a syringe in front of Rocket Romano, "This is pure bile, extracted from a gland at the back of James Carville's mouth, which he spits to blind his prey." He explains what it will feel like when it is injected, "It's like having battery acid poured on your brain while listening to Rosie O'Donnell sing 'I Touch Myself.'"

Rocket Romano confesses that he was the one who whacked David Palmer, Michelle Dressler, and Tony Almeda. But, he did it all for the good of his country... France. This makes Jack angry, and he's about to kill Rocket Romano, but his father intervenes, for reasons that shall become obvious later.

12:40:33 to 12:46:05

Al Bundy is having little success decrypting the image. He downloads the latest version of Microsoft NSA Image Decorrupter and promptly crashes the entire CTU network. This helps delay the image until the end of the hour climax.

Meanwhile, Zephram Cochrane Bundy is deserving a little homily on how their family sucks. {Maybe I should have nicknamed him Al Bundy.} Jack wishes he could be a better man. "Don't try to be a great man," his father counsels. "Just be a man and let history decide."

12:50:32 to 12:59:59

On Air Force 2, Vice President Jim Jones approves of the president's plan to impose Martian Law. President Chapelle has reconsidered the proposal, and after talking to his sister Cynthia McKinney and her boyfriend Gee Wally, he will not impose Martian law. He then delivers a suck-up line to CAIR about Muslims being "America's Little Dumplings."

Al Bundy leaves CTU to visit his brother in the hospital. Then, MS NSA ID works its stuff, and reveals the image from Tom Willis's cell phone... it's Kim Bauer in a skimpy bikini. OK, it was actually, Al Bundy. Chiggy calls Jack, they connect to Al Bundy and tell him to come back to CTU, but it's too late, Tom Willis pulls up, shoots him a few times, then cuffs him in the back of his late model Buick. Tom Willis calls Imhotep and tells him he's got the shoe salesman, I mean engineer, Imhotep was looking for.

Back at Casa Bauer, Rocket Romano talks to Zephram Cochrane. Rocket Romano indicates that he hasn't told Jack everything and he's still covering up for the family. Zephram Cochrane is so happy he injects the rest of the Carville venom into Rocket Romano's IV and covers his mouth and nose until he stops struggling. He then calls in the CTU Team and, in another sign of CAIR's influence on the 24 creative process, feigns outrage.

Tick-Tock.

11am-11:59am 24 Sum Up, B4B Style

2007-01-30T07:25:00.000-08:00

11:00:00 to 11:11:02

"Our goal is the defeat of our enemies..." says President Chappelle to the nation. "Not so fast..." scream Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Hagel, and Barbara Boxer. Then, Gloria Allred started shrieking at Weasel Cage about detention camps or something. I kind of tune out when bleeding heart liberals start preaching civil liberties. Then Weasel Cage started babbling on about loaded muskrats or something. Later, he plotted to get Gloria Allred out of the way.

Anyway, back at CTU, the Mole .. I mean, the Token Arab Chick complains about how due to new security protocols, all the Middle Eastern types now have to mix capitals and special characters into their passwords, and it's taking her a lot longer to get stuff done. So, she whines to Chiggy about it. He tells her to buck up and slaps her on the heiney for support.

Back at Casa Bauer, Jack is still torturing Romano Bauer. Confused ER fans call out, "Yes! Yes! Make it slow, Jack. Make it long and sl-o-o-o-o-o-o-w!" Then, all too soon, Jack takes off the plastic bag, and Romano flashes back to his toilet training. "I made a mess, and dad has to clean it up," he sobs. Long story short, Romano claims the terrorists stole the nukes from him and Jack's Dad with help from Evil White British Guy (EWBG) Then, Jack and Romano leave and, in the biggest surprise of the season, Jack phones Chloe for help!!!!

11:15:25 to 11:26:48

On the road, Romano whines that Jack is selling out the family, when all they did was sell suitcase nukes to terrorists. EWBG is also in a car with his bimbo while he works his way through the Los Alamos Phonelist. "Aaron Abramson? Hi, you don't know me, but can you program a nuke like the one that went off over Valencia. No? Sorry to bother you .... Hello, is this Mike Ackerman? Hi, you don''t know me..." Imhotep is losing patience with him.

Kemper is perturbed that Token Arab Chick is taking too long with her analysis. He finds out from Chiggy about the extra-strength protocols put in place by Weasel Cage. Kemper protests. "But Token's lived in this country since she was two. She's a Republican." So, now we know she's evil.

At Camp Gitmo, the detainees are still at recess. Gee Wally finds out one of the detainees smuggled in a cell phone. Gee Wally asks how, when told, he no longer wants to touch it, but the FBI insists that he get it.

Meanwhile, Caged Weasel confronts Gloria Allred with a list of people who will testify that Chiggy had Imhotep in his custody and let him get away, and then Gloria Allred covered it up. Allred tells him, "I've got dirt on you too. I know about your obsesion with Janet' Reno's waddle." Caged Weasel gives her a choice, stay on, and he'll leak to the New York Times, resign, and all records of the event will be smuggled away in Sandy Berger's underpants, never to be seen again.

11:31:13 to 11:36:24

Al Bundy rags on Token Republican Chick for being slow, Kemper covers for her, and then Al Bundy meaningfully says, (da-dit da-dit da-dit message coming through). "We're both on the same side." Then Kemper logs her in under his password, which is illegal and will probably come back to haunt him if previous seasons are any guide.

Gloria Allred busts into President Chapelle's office, tenders her resignation and gives him a nice little pep talk. President Chapelle offers to send her to CTU in LA, and he agrees to arrange transport by "Air Sununu" (How obscure is that.)

11:40:52 to 11:47:05

Gee Wally challenges the cell phone detainee to a Tango contest and discreetly grabs the phone during a dip. The FBI guys have him call Chloe with it, and she says, "who am I the gawdam Time-Life operator?" Cynthia McKinney Chapelle wants Gee Wally to pull out. "I bet he's heard that before," says the FBI agent, wiggling his eyebrows. Examining the phone records, Chloe finds out the detainees haven't been in contact with terrorists, they got their information from an entry on DailyKos titled "Valencia? Screw 'Em." In the biggest surprise of the season, the detained Muslims turn out not to be terrorists! So, the FBI agrees to pull Gee Wally out. Naturally, this is when the other detainees find out Gee Wally took the phone, and they chuckle because it was all a misunderstanding and sit down to some pancakes.

Just kidding, they actually beat him like Jackson Brown on a first date.

11:51:31 to 11:59:59

Jack busts into his dad's secure offices using just a credit card and the unstoppable power of his man-boobs. Jack opens up EWBG's conveniently un-password protected computer and finds out that EWBG began deleting files ten minutes after the bomb went off. Then, in the biggest surprise of the season, Jack doesn't call Chloe so she can instantly download the hard drive, reconstruct the data, and find the one clue that will advance the plot. Instead, Jack goes into a back room and gets into a fight with the only guy in LA he can't take down in a single punch.

As the baddie is about to ventilate Jack's forehead, Zephram Cochrane Bauer shows up. "Hi Jack, how was China?" Zephram Cochrane and Romano beg Jack to leave CTU out of it, so they don't have to go to prison or shell out millions for a presidential pardon. When Zephram Cochrane agrees to do it Jack's way, Romano double crosses them, and sics his goons. This comes as absolutely no surprise. The goons lead Jack and Sephrame Cochrane out to a waiting van to drive them out for execution. Someone's due for a neck-bitin'.

Tick-tock.

US Capitol Spraypainted by so-called peace demonstrators

2007-01-29T07:16:00.000-08:00

OK, Congress is far from perfect, but here's a bunch of BS. US Capitol Police in Washington were ordered to stand down and NOT STOP a bunch of anarchist losers from spray painting their crap all over the capitol. Granted, there's freedom of speech, but there's also vandalism and destruction of property. They crossed past the First Amendment into deliberate and destructive BS.

And yes, some of you jackasses will defend their right, because you hate the war beyond all else. I'm sure the Iraqis hated that awful war that freed the Kurds from Saddam and stopped him from killing millions more. Yeah, what a bad country we are.

By the way, incitement of riot was once a law the cops enforced. What's the deal Bacon Boys? Are you too worried about other peoples lawyers? You afraid to do your job? Or is it the gutless Captain and Chief of Police who prefer not to make waves, versus stop the defacing of a historic landmark and integral part of the government.

Bet if the White House got that treatment you'd be happy. Of course, if it was a Democrat at 1600 and they were insulted with graffiti you'd be up in arms. Typical bi-polar disorder you leftards exhibit.

V for Vendetta? Please. V was charismatic, you guys are stupid. Britain was in the future and part of a graphic novel, a work of fiction, this is the real world. And by the way, if you guys try and blow up stuff, you'll face a backlash, as will all of your innocent buddies. Wanna blow up stuff? Please, do, blow yourselves up and make sure you haven't polluted the gene pool.

That is all.

Jim Webb's Response Analyzed

2007-01-24T07:13:00.000-08:00

Jim Webb: The sky is falling! We're gonna die and it's his fault!

MSM Journalist: Um, not really. And let's look at his fudging the figures and offering no frickin alternative.

http://newsbusters.org/node/10351

Nice stumble, Freshman Senator. Twerp.

By the way, saw the State of the Union.

Noticed the following:

Nancy Pelosi's eyes blinked and twitched between 25-30 times a minute.

John McCain's eyes were shut most of the time.

Ted Kennedy was doing a crossword or soduku puzzle.

Hillary was primping her hair before camera time.

And the Democratic response, no real specific plan or alternatives to help the administration. Just 'um, duh, we're gonna make sure he's out in two years! Duh!' Well, since Truman was in office there was that term limit to the Presidency, no more than 2 consecutive terms. Damned pesky Constitution and 22nd Amendment. Figured Jim Webb would have done his homework. Mwehehehe, yeah right.

Enjoy kids, 2 more years til President Anyone But Hillary gets into office.

Well, let's be fair, President Guiliani will give a good State of The Union after he's inaugurated. Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!

WHAT NEW DIRECTION?

2007-01-23T07:39:00.000-08:00

The Democrats talk about leading America into a newer and better direction. What's their plan? What is so bad about the following?

OK, Unemployment is at its lowest level in 25 years.

Home ownership is at a record high.

Home values doubled last year.

401ks are on the rebound.

The Down Jones and other markets are at an all time high.

Jobless claims have been steadily decreasing.

We have had NO terrorist attacks on US soil since 9/11.

Fuel prices have dropped.

Taxes are the lowest in over 20 years.

What's wrong with the direction we are in? And what on earth do those socialist chimps have planned?

Do they wanna turn back the clock to the days of the Carter malaise? The Clinton do-nothing years? What?

They will want record tax hikes. What for?
To pay for their unemployed and stupid voters to keep living off the fat of the land, rather than work.
To line their own pockets.
To set the economy into freefall in a reckless scheme to take power in nothing short of a legalized coup.
To screw the Americans since they've been so screwed during the past 6 years of elections.
To seek vengeance and prove their power. Nothing more.

And if that happens, expect gas prices to go up.
Expect interest rates to skyrocket.
Expect more bankrupcy filings and delinquencies.
Expect more homes to be mortgaged out or rented.
Forget ownership, due to new taxes from the enlightened Democrats.

Dare we ask? Dare we NOT ASK?

The only thing they can bitch about is Iraq.

Iraq, such a failure.

So bad that they've had 2 years with successful presidential and regional elections.

So bad that utilities and amenities have been expanded all over the area.

So bad that, aside from The sunni Triangle/Bagdhad area, that stability is the prodominant order of the day.

So rotten that Kurdistan is the most stable area, and will be recognized by the US soon.

And so bad that Syria and Iran may have to break down and negotiate rather than risk war.

Yeah, we've failed in so much there. NOT!

OK, we've lost about 3000 soldiers, in almost 4 years. 4 Years. We lost close to 4000 during the first 4 HOURS of D-Day. 2300 in 2 hours at Pearl Harbor. And for 2 and 1/2 hours on September 11, we lost 2973 Americans and others. I hate to be callous, but considering how wars usually go, we are getting off light.

Instead of terrorists attacking all over the world, in massive numbers, they are flocking to Iraq to die for their cause. And we're happy to oblige them. Instead of laying waste to the US or Europe, they're dying in record numbers trying to snuff out a fledgling democracy.

I say, stay on course. Don't leave until Iraq is somewhat stable.

If we leave, expect the fall of Saigon and Killing Fields to repeat itself again, this time in Iraq. Also, expect Iran to annex portions of Iraq, making striking distance against Israel and takeover of the ME oil a more likely thing.

Do the Democrats have a viable alternative?

I thought not.

Cut and run and wait for the next attack, and just blame it on Bush. Don't mention the 8 years Clinton had to do something. Carter's impotency in allowing Iran to go fundamentalist. And let's not forget their combined duplicity in cutting off Israel at the knees. Thankfully, the Israelis didn't take to that.

24 Summary 10 am-10:59 am

2007-01-23T06:16:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official. Jack is back in his ass kicking mode. Took an atomic bomb to do it, buuuuut, he's back.

OK, President Limpwrist is fretting over his sagging polls and what his legacy will be. Sound familiar? Frau Blucher (horse neighs in background) is still flabbergasted at the mushroom cloud over LA. Daaaang!

Back at CTU, Chigs is in shock that the Redshirt SWAT dorks were wasted in a nuke blast, as was Ward Cleaver, and Jeebs the terrorist. Meanwhile, Imhotep is hauling ass through suburbia and about to run over kids and parents fleeing the A-bomb cloud. What, no duck and cover?

Jack has to help the Eye in the Sky chopper survivor get his live buddy out and the body of his dead pal. Jack gets live guy out, but the chopper and dead guy fall off the roof and chopper blows up. Jack gets a call from Chigs, who annoyingly asks, 'Um Jack, I thought you were done?'
Jack responds, "OH HELL NO, I AM NOT DONE! I BEEN TORTURED, HAD TO BITE OUT A DUDE'S NECK! I SHOT CURTIS! PUKED! ALMOST WENT WUSS! AND NOW A BOMB WENT OFF! NO, I'M NOT DONE! THEY ARE! GET ME A CAR AND SOME GEAR! AND, I WILL NEED A HACKSAW!" 'OK, bye. psycho...."

Russett Potato Face, aka Chloe, is wondering why everyone she knows is dying around her. Morris hears this and scoots his chair AWAY. He answers, 'Well, babe, life's just quirky like that. And we work at Inetech. PC Load Letter, WTF does that mean!' Chigs calls his wife, yes he's married to Frau Blucher, (neighs into phone, Chigs is puzzled) She says, 'Yeah we're moving into Der Bunker, and I think unless Dave Chappelle isn't gutless, we're going to war. The meatloaf is in the fridge. Kisses, bye.' Meanwhile Limpwrist, The Frau, and Karl Rove are plotting what to do next.

Back in LA, Jack is on the phone to CTU to find leads on the terrorists and find colleagues. As he's doing this, Imhotep calls his British weapons supplier, Eddie Izzard clone, and yells at him. Eddie fires back, "Look, no one said nuke LA! Dammit! I said nuke Hollywood! Sheesh, follow frickin orders don't you!" Imhotep, 'Shut it you tranny! Now, listen, if I pay you double what our agreement was, can you get me a new engineer?' "Sure, why?" 'My old engineer Jeebs was atomized, DUH!' So back to CTU, Chloe and Morris are finding names. Soon, hot Arab CTU gal walks by and they see names. Russian General, yeah. OJ's lawyer, of course, Dick Cheney, and Philip Bauer (Jack Bauer's dad)- Music grows louder. "You tell Jack!", Chloe says. 'Oh bloody hell no! You do it!', Morris yells. "One of you assholes tell him! OK, fine, I guess I'LL DO IT!" Chigs Buchanan finally relents. Jack is told his dad may have dealt with terrorists and Jack gets mad.

Now, outside DC, Wally Wally is being held in a detention center by the FBI. All the while his dumb girlfriend, Cynthia McKinney gets attitude. 'Oh, I know you DID NOT have Wally wear a wire and talk to dem terrorists!' as she jerks her head side to side. FBI guy, 'Shut it lady, he's gonna talk to them, we just gotta get the wire on him, first.' "And how you gonna do that? Un-huh?" 'Agents, prepare operation Schoolyard Humiliation........
So the agents shove Wally around, seeing he's not being talked to by the jihadists, and they push him into a stall. Swirlie! Swirlie! Swirlie! So, Wally gets yelled at, punched, and 2-way Beltones is put in his ear for the FBI to use. All the while, Cynthia McKinney is pissed. FBI guy is ready to use his gun, on her.

Back in LA, Jack calls dad's house and Paul Lynde answers. Lynde, "Heya Jackie, aintcha dead?" 'No, got out of China, long story, where's dad?' "Oh he left, probably for Fire Island, that tease. LEft his cell phone too. Hey Jack, you've been in prison, what do you do if you have an itch that...." 'Oh sorry, Paul, cccrrrrr, line's going out, bye!' Jack hangs up before Lynde, Philip's man servant gets too graphic.... So, Jack calls his brother, Gray, who is Rocket Romano, aka Graham of the Blue Tooth Mafia. So Romano answers, and is shocked, "Jack? What the fu.... hey, bro! How are ya! Thought you were in China, for life.... yeah. So, how was prison?" 'Dude, shut up! Where IS DAD?' "Oh Dad, he probably went out with someone for the weekend. Since he and mom broke up, he's playing the whole field. Kind of weird, hey, I got shit to do, um...." 'No you don't Gray, and if you hang up, it's gonna be Hurts Donut time all over again! I'll talk to you later, bye.' We see Romano, Stewie Griffin clone, now has a hot wife and kid that looks like the inbred banjo kid from Deliverance. Banjo kid says, 'Hey Dyaad, did you see dat dere big ass mushroom?' "Yes I did, don't worry, Dad's gonna keep you all safe." 'Oh yeah, sure, Graham. You couldn't keep a secret safe, let alone keep me and Jack from (slides finger in and out of hole made by other fingers)' Stewie gets mad, but doesn't care.

Meanwhile, in DC, Limpwrists writers are heard at work for a damage control speech. You can't say atomic bomb! That's too inflammatory! Of course you can, it went off, brain trust! So, they write a speech. Frau Blucher is nervous and Karl Rove is jotting down plans for new concentration camps and a I HATE KAREN HAYES slogan on his sketch pad.

Back to LA, Imhotep calls Eddie Izzard, who's just picked up a hot blonde chick. Not a hooker, but his girlfriend. Imhotep has Eddie call around. Sorry hon, plans changed, we're not going to Vegas, we're staying here in Fall out LA. Ohhhhh, you suck!

Jack now shows up at Stewie Griffin's house, unexpectedly, after having CTU star 69 Graham's telephone. So, Jack walks in. Romano bitches about Jack not being around in 9 years, and Jack shuts the door and locks it. Meanwhile wife is mad at Jack, 'You were a bad lay! Leave!' "Hey, I was the best you had!" 'Not you Jack, I'm talking to cue ball!' "I've got your money, so bite me!" 'Hey, Ralph and Alice, shut it, I gotta talk to Ralphie boy here. Hi nephew who looks like the Deliverance kid!' "howdy, unc!"

Jack and Stewie go into the nice home office, and Jack locks that door behind him. So Stewie acts like he doesn't know where Philip Bauer is. JAck can tell he sucks at lying, and knocks him out. Jack them ties him to a chair with a lamp cord, and gets.... THE COMFY PILLOW! "No one can ever resist The Spanish Inquisition!" Jack loudly procclaims. 'NO! Not the Spanish Inquisition! You're hurting me!' "Trust me, I'm not! OK, noogies!" Owwww!, as Jack starts giving Graham noogies, hurts donuts, and then wraps a plastic bag over his huge bald head.

To be continued......

Bonaduce Speaks Out Part II

2007-01-23T05:36:00.000-08:00

Well, nice to know someone in California isn't a complete freak. Go Danny Bonaduce. And he stated it very well, 'I've been poor, down and out, and strung out and wasted before. I've seen the bad side. Someone threatening to keep me out of movies, I don't fear that. I don't fear them.' Nor should anyone fear the almighty Babs Streisand, Rosie O Loudmouth, Behemoth Baldwin, or Robert Redass. All of whom threatened to move when GWB was elected, TWICE. Well, we've got a Ryder truck for you and we can get you all a one way ticket. In short, put up or shut up. We prefer shut up and so does Danny.

You go Danny!

Here's Danny at his best, in response to Robert Redford.....

http://msunderestimated.com/BonaduceBreaksRedford.wmv

Hillary is running for President.....

2007-01-22T15:28:00.000-08:00

and so is everyone else in the Democrapic Convention.

Let's see who's gonna be likely to come out ontop.

There's Barack Obama, he's articulate, well spoken, not a flaming jerk like moonshine, but still a liberal. I ain't voting for him, but someone will. However, here's his negatives. What will nail him before he can even run. First, he's been a Senator for 2 years. It's advised to get a full term or more as Senator, Congressman, Governor, etc. under your belt before you run for The Big Office. Sorry Barack, you may wanna wait for next election. Second, what does he stand for? No official position, just his book he wrote. Third, he's too darned centrist for Howard Dean's liking. He's fired.

Hillary will likely come ontop of the heap of candidates the DNC may consider. Why? Well, she'll play dirty for one thing. She has the backing of New York, which odd since she moved to that state a few months before the Senate race. New York Voters, take pride in electing a reverse carpetbagger over a native son of your state. Bravo. And you call the South stupid. Please. Hil also has Bubba to bolster her campaign. Her personality sucks, she's a flip-flopper, and she's not sure where she stands, BUT Bubba can rake in the money for her. Ask Babs Streisand, Kevin Spacey and others what they think of St. William Jefferson. They may not care for Hildebeast, but they loved her husband, Bubba. Sorry, Bill Clinton. Drawbacks, the carpetbagger thing. Second, Bubba's infidelity, soft foreign policy, pre-9/11 inaction, perjury, scandal after scandal.......

Those more likely to get swept aside, Senator Christopher Dodd, Joe Biden, and John Edwards. And of course Krazy Dennis Kucinich, who can double for Gollum. Yeah, Hil will steamroll, backstab, and general mutilate her competition. And that's just her own party.

Now, the GOP, who will they run?

Likely choice, though will draw heat, Rudolph W Guiliani. Sure, he wasn't a NY Senator, or Governor, or even a cabinet member, but Rudy was mayor of New York for 8 years including 9/11, the Millenium Bombing plots, and the aftermath and prosecution of the Feb 26 1993 WTC Attack. He reduced crime by over 59%. He cleaned up the city. And Rudy got the fiscal budget back in line. Not bad for a former US Attorney who nailed the Gambinos, Ivan Bosky, and others. Sure, his cheating on Donna Hanover will come up, but who's gonna yammer about that? Hillary? She has 200 + pounds of infidelity wed to her! Chris Dodd, Biden? Please..... And of course, people will complain about Rudy's civil rights offenses against Haitians and non-whites committed by the NYPD. Eh, Al Sharpton will complain, what a shock. Rudy does have drawbacks, like being too pro-choice for the hardcore conservatives and of course gay marriage. Eh, he's moderate.

John McCain, HELL NO! War Hero or not, he's as wishy washy as Hildebeast. Ugh, John you should be ashamed.

Super Bowl XLI

2007-01-22T05:26:00.000-08:00

Who do you think will win, Da Bears? Da Bears! Or Da Colts? Da Colts.

I think you have Da Colts, with their stellar quarterback, and despite a messed up thumb, will be healed in time for Da Bowl. Expect Manning to do some good stuff. But, do not rule out Chicago. Chicago who was odds on favorite to lose to Nawlins yesterday, but showed themselves better and Nawlins showing themselves crumbling apart. So close, but not close enough for Reggie Bush.

It will be a close Super Bowl, no doubt.

No betting pools starting hear, just talk football, as after Feb 4, there will be jack about Football til April's NFL Draft, and August when pre-season and college start back up. Til then, it will be like wandering the Wilderness in The Sinai for 40 years.......

At the very least, the commercials could be funny this year. We hope.

B4B 9am-959 sum up

2007-01-16T13:02:00.000-08:00

All I can say is bravo, and DAAAAMN, they lit off a nuke, they let the suburbs go nuclear! Sheeeeyit! Now Jack's pissed......

09:00:00 to 09:13:38

CTU figures out that Nemo is a German-trained nuclear physicist who knows all about setting off a suitcase nuke. Kemper tries to get Bundy to do something technical, but Bundy says he's doing something else for Chloe. Chloe tells Kemper this ain't the case. "I'm not a mole!" Bundy insists. CTU policy requires Kemper to take his word for it.

At the White House, Gloria Allred and John Caged Weasel describe the potential casualties from a suitcase nuke, which the President of the United States, despite 11 weeks of terror attacks, apparently has not been briefed on. "How many people do you think would be killed by a suitcase nuke," John Caged Weasel asks him. "100?" Chapalle guesses. They inform him that the actual death toll will be many times greater than that, and illustrate it with some graphics they borrowed from the Discovery Channel. "Get me Jack Bauer," President Chapelle demands.

Bashir asks Cola "what are we going to do next?" "What do you mean we kome sabe?" Cola shoots back at him. "Cola and Synthehol don't mix. Like Kanar and Raktajino." Jack is pissed. "Damn it you, play nice together."

Then, Jack’s phone rings. It's Chapelle, "Hey, Jack, How ya doin', Buddy?" Jack flips his bangs out of his eyes: "Breathing deep in darkness that envelops my soul." Chapelle goes on, "Hey, sorry about that whole sending you to your death by torture this morning. You wanna lead the team to find Nemo?" Jack says okeedokee, but grimly.

Meanwhile, Bashir has located Jack's favorite thing in the whole world, a PDA. Everything on the PDA was destroyed in the explosion except one useful message. "Nana Visitor arrived Thursday." He explains that Nana Visitor is code for "bomb" and Thursday is code for "Must See TV." It is obvious a reference to “Joey.”

Less than five minutes after escaping from Palmdale, Nemo has met up with Imhotep in Los Angeles. According to mapquest, the distance from Palmdale to Los Angeles is 53 miles, and the drive is one hour and three minutes under ideal conditions. Looks like someone besides Jack can warp space-time. Imhotep immediately puts him to work on the nuke. "Do you think you can have it ready in time for a climactic action sequence at the end of the hour." Nemo is confident he can, if, of course, he gets the detonator.

Speaking of which, back at the Everyman's house, Mrs Everyman begins to ask White Castle why he became a terrorist, but before White Castle can say anything that might get CAIR on Fox's ass, Bill Everyman calls back, "I killed a guy to get the nuclear detonator for you. Can you forgive me for my race's part in the Crusades?" White Castle says not yet, Bill Everyman has to deliver the detonator to the terrorist cell. Bill says he’ll do it if White Castle releases a hostage. White Castle asks if he’s ever seen the Zionist propaganda film “Sophie’s Choice?” White Castle forces the wife out and warns her he'll kill Billy Everyteen if she calls the police. Mrs Everyman wants to call the Police anyway, but Bill Everyman objects. "I can't bear to see another minority youth hauled off to jail," he says.

But Mrs Everyman does a rare, sensible thing and phones LA County 9-11 "Hello, police, my son is being held hostage by a terrorist who is threatening to kill him unless we deliver a nuclear detonator to a terrorist group... Yes, I can hold."

09:19:36 to 09:31:23

Bundy and Kemper are still getting along like cats in a sack, and soon the audience finds out why. It turns out they both dated Russet Potato Face. She confronts them, "OK, I dated both of you, but neither one of you could satisfy me like Spencer the Stud-boy, so get over it. Now, which one of you is the mole?" Then, the personal side-story to keep the female viewers interested is put aside so that CTU can connect Jack with Mrs Everyman, who conveys that her son is being held hostage by someone who could be a terrorist, but she's reluctant to judge him because one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

President Chapelle receives Ambassador Smarm in the White House. "Is Bashir really interested in peace?" "Absolutely, 100%, you betcha!" the ambassador insists "And I told John Kerry and Arlen Specter the same thing." The ambassador is excused. Gloria Allred supports the deal, and we all know how good her judgment is. John Caged Weasel opposes the deal, on the grounds that he's a middle-aged white guy and he just hates Muslims. President Chapelle calls Jack and offers Bashir full immunity in return for helping find Imhotep and working for peace. He even offers to pull some strings at the Nobel committee, but Bashir feels that Jimmy Carter's award really reduced the Peace Prize to Grammy status.

Back at the detention camp, Gee Wally accepts water from another prisoner. "Before this day is over, the infidels will pay," the prisoner tells him. Then, he goes off and has a conversation with another prisoner in Arabic, which Gee Wally can not understand except for the parts that are crucial to advancing the plot.

Back in La-La Land, Bill Everyman arrives at the drop, and the terrorists shove a gun in his neck. "Hey, I realize you have legitimate grievances against my country for supporting Zionist Imperialism," he says. “It’s cool.” He hands off the detonator to Nemo. Nemo is pleased, "Cool, I'll have the bomb ready to go in twenty minutes, or it's free," Bill Everyman begs for his son's release. Imhotep calls White Castle. "OK, you can leave now. Kill the boy, first. And don't be a pussy like Behrooz." "Who is Behrooz?" White Castle demands jealously.

09:37:23 to 09:42;25

President Chapelle signs the pardon. He brings in the White House's answer to the McLaughlin Group, John Caged Weasel and Gloria Allred. "Question Number One! We have pardoned a terrorist! How do we sell this to the public? Gloria Allred..." They decide they can spin it to the public as a "Bad terrorist turns good thing," put him on Oprah, have his picture taken with Angelina Jolie and some African children, and make a commercial for stem cell research. If they play their cards right, he can run for senate from Illinois in a couple of years. Even though he's beheaded hundreds of people in the name of Global Jihad, he's still less radical than Dick Durbin.

Meanwhile, Bacardi and Cola with a dash of Synthehol is deploying around the Everyman house. White Castle changes imperatives from "Sit. Down." to "Get. Up." "Why?" Billy Everyteen asks. "So I can kill you," White Castle explains. And proving that his parents raised him to be a good, sensitive new age male, Billy obligingly kneels while White Castle prepares to kill him, execution style. "My mom has an apron in the kitchen, in case you don't want to get my blood on you," Billy tells him helpfully.

The CTU Tactical Team busts into the house. Jack grimly yells "Drop the weapon!" Millions of fans down double shots. Bullets are fired. White Castle goes down like a greasy slider. Jack wants him alive so he can get the location of Imhotep. But, fortunately, Billy Everyteen shares Jack's fondness for Rainman and remembers the address, "Numbers... something about oranges... 351 Old Mill Road Valencia." Jack and the tactical team move out while Billy Everyteen goes to cash his last paycheck and then hang out with Behrooz and Hairboy at the Home for Forgotten 24 Teen Characters.

09:48:25 to 09:59:59

President Chapelle is giving his staff instructions. "Tell first responders in Los Angeles to be ready to respond to a nuclear detonation... but don't panic." Meanwhile, Cynthia McKinney goes to the detention center to visit her boyfriend, who relays to her the conversation he overhard. She is outraged, "Gee Wally, you shouldn't be listening in on other prisoners’ conversations." Then, she hits him with her cell phone. But he begs her to tell the president, and she reluctantly agrees. (Two seasons, from now, she'll probably be president.)

In La-la land, Jack gives Bashir his pardon, but Bashir wants to read it over and make sure there's nothing in it requiring him to do reunion specials with Rene Auberjonois. Cola is not happy. "You mean he walks." "It's not my call," Jack tells him grimly. Chloe confirms that Cola and Bashir have a connection. Bashir personally beheaded two men from Curtis's Army Unit after Desert Storm. She relays this information to Jack just as Curtis puts a gun to Bashir's head. Then, Jack pulls a gun on Curtis. Then all the CTU guys pull their guns. It's just like the banned xbox commercial. "I can't let this animal live," Cola growls. A shot rings out, and Curtis takes one right in the neck from Jack's gun. Curtis says "Garp," and then he says "Good" and then he dies.

Jack throws up and hugs a tree. His cell phone rings. Chiggy Killer is calling. "Jack, I know you're upset right now, but it's not the first time you had to kill a trusted friend and it probably won't be the last. Let's go get some pancakes." "No pancakes, I quit," Jack says. "I can't do this any more. So, why don't you just go back to your Justin Timberlake and your homework, you conformist asshole?" He jerks his hair back into place. "You just don't know what real pain is."

Also, Chiggy finds out that White Castle died on the way to the hospital. Because of his circumstances, he doesn't get 72 Virgins. He gets to be one of the 72 Virgins for last night's suicide bomber.

CTU has imagery on Imhotep's hideout. A tactical squad moves in. They approach two sentries for whom the war is over quickly. But Nemo is almost done with the weapon. As the tactical team comes in shooting, a terrorist shouts at Nemo, "Can you detonate now?" Nemo can detonate now, and he does. A mushroom cloud blossoms over Los Angeles. The President watches in the White House, stunned. “OK, he gets one more deal, but that’s it!” he insists.

Jack sees it from the front lawn of the Everyman house. He knows either Rob Reiner is lighting farts again, or someone detonated a nuke.

Meanwhile, Gee Wally's overheard conversation is conveyed to the CTU. They realize there are four more nukes out there with Nemo, If Jack doesn't stop him, it will be like 9-11 times... well, four.

8-859 Sum Up

2007-01-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

8am-859am

Jack and his pal Assad, aka Asshead to others are following Jarrett The Unsuccessful Subway Bomber's handler. Jack and Asshead are in touch with CTU. CTU amazed Jack is still alive, and that he hasn't wasted MORE PEOPLE. Yet.

At the White House President Palmer, Stenko and Frau Blucher (horse neighs) go over Asshead's non-demise, Jack being one of the Lost Boys again, and how to stop Baldie, aka Imhotep The Terrorist. They are in touch with Chiggy and Hot ME Chick, as Morris is verbally gutting Milo the Tech kid. Chloe has to step in rather than see Morris dress down the kid. Chloe prefers that for another time......

They are being asked by Jack to track Imhoteps flunky since their Toyota Hybrid sucks ass for a pursuit car and oddly enough IS NOT blending in with the rest of California. Theirs is the only car under a decade old not playing Latino music loudly..... had to do that, sorry. Well not really.

So Jack, has Asshead drop him off. Jack then bitch slaps Harvey Fierstein and takes his white Jeep. OJ all the while pleading for some to steal and burn his white Bronco and the evidence! 'Thanks for nothing, honkey!' Jack flicks off OJ and heads to cut off the flunky. We then see The All State Guy talk about Scoop and Squat, as Jack T-bones the flunky, and Asshead is a safe distance behind, in the hybrid. So oddly enough Jack, doesn't ass punch the guy, he just yells, 'No habla ingles! No insurancio, no policia. Adios, pendejo!' and drives off. So, Asshead, offers to give flunky a ride to where ever.

Jack is now to meet up with his boy Cola, and then they're gonna beat that ass. Jack tells Cola he's working with Asshead. Cola gets the look you'd get if Helen Thomas went topless. Ugh.... but Cola drives with Jack. Curtis then starts to hum some Method Man, and Jack is now worried.

Meanwhile back at Jackass House, Bam and April are being held hostage by Kumar, and so is Phil. Phil is told to run errands for Kumar, whose leg was cut when Dauber tossed him into a glass coffee table, before Kumar delivered the Mozambique Drill to Dauber. Kumar has April patch him up as he holds a shaking gun at Bam. Weeman and Johnny and Dunn left. Bam, curses them for being a bunch of bitches. So, Phil is to go drop off the package Kumar took out of the wall. Off goes Phil out of Suburbia, leaving Bam and April to Kumar's mercy and the Alligator on the floor.

At the White House, President Palmer agrees to Imhotep's latest demand. Free 100 Al Qaeda guys and put them on a plane to meet him, or more American will die. So, President Palmer turns into Little Richard and just agrees. Stenko is pissed, and even Frau Blucher (horse neighs) is miffed.

At this time, the prisoners are being put onto busses. And also, Palmer's stupid sister, Cynthia McKinney Crackwhore Clone, is being beligerent and hauled off with her big Muslim Boss to a concentration camp, oops, detainment center. Ze Kommandant takes Cynthia McKinney to his office, as Der SS beat up Big Muslim Guy. Now, Cynthia calls her bro. Instead, she gets Stenko and threatens to go Valerie Plame on him. So Stenko says go stuff your cigar, Monica, and hangs up. Then he goes back into the Oval Office, acting normal.

Bacardi and Cola are en route to nail the flunky. Cola is none too pleased with having to work with Asshead. Chloe is now called to see why Cola is pissed at Asshead. Chloe works as Morris and Michael Bolton, aka Milo continue their pissing contest. Morris is winning, cause he drank more beer the night before. And Michael, well, he was a lightweight. Loser!

Kumar wants water. Bam backwashes in it, and is about to stab Kumar with a butter knife, but remembers it's now dulled after him and Weeman and Dunn had a knife war. Stupid, he thinks to himself and sits down, as Phil is sent to go get the part. Phil is told, 'You get the part, after delivering the package! And on the way back, get me some White Castles! Bitch!' So Phil, arrives to see Kumar's bud, Van Wilder. Van wants more money, and Phil has to kill him and get the part for Kumar, or let Bam and Ape die. Damn, tough choice. Nah, Phil says as he smashes Van Wilder's head into mush!

Jack, Asshead, Cola, and a team of nameless CTU SWAT guys follow the flunky to the neighborhood Public Storage. No one bothers to check his storage unit, but he has plastique stowed there, Kalashnikovs, grenades, and a bunch of Korans. Wow, what a scion of the community he is. He's inside the unit, calling Imhotep to get more electronics for their nefarious bomb plot, mwahahaha. However, a SWAT guy steps on a cat's tail, and the shooting begins. Another nameless CTU guy is taken out. Jack and Cola are shooting the place up, Wild Bunch style, and wound the flunky. The flunky pulls out a nade, grenade, and yanks out the pin, blowing up his storage unit, the C-4, his Qurans, and himself. No 72 virgins for you! For you have blown up Qurans, instead of the Jew Bibles or Torahs! Bad terrorist! Do not pass go, do not collect $500! And we hear the broken-voiced teenage worker from the Simpsons stammer out, 'HEY! You owe us more than your deposit for this mess! I'm telling!'

President Palmer heard about the mission problems, and agrees to let the 100 freedom fighters (Stenko loudly coughs- BULLSH-T) and even Frau Blucher (horse neighs) is not happy. And now the prisoners are ready to be freed. Imhotep wants one of them in particular, and CTU knows he's a little nuke scientist. They try to nail Apu, but a bad guy guard let him off. Now, it's PRISON BREAK all over again.

At this time, Phil has killed Kumar's part buddy. The part is for a nuclear bomb, which the escaped little nuke scientist Apu needs, and Imhotep needs to set off a weapon. Now Imhotep raises his pinky to his mouth, and laughs.

To be continued.

24 Update from B4B

2007-01-16T08:06:00.000-08:00

LETS GET THIS STARTED!!!

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 8:00 - 9:00 A.M.

8:02 -

I wonder how much Toyota had to pay to get the Yaris in?

8:05 -

No. Mr. President it... Wait, I can't give out spoilers. :-)

8:07 -

Is Morris perfect for Chloe? I could only dream of being so sarcastic.

8:10 -

GTA MOTHER F&%$*R!!!

BOOM! (I've always wanted to do that.)

Lets make sure everyone in the audience notices that Toyota emblem.

8:14 -

HOSTAGES FTW! I swear there is always a group of people in the wrong place at the right time.

How can you see anyone? Your losing blood at a substantial rate. If it is on the floor, your brain sure as hell isn't getting it....

8:20 -

Reconnected with Bauer? What is he a Cyborg?

Make the wrong call there Mr. President.

8:23 -

BACARDI & COLA. THEY GET THE JOB DONE!

8:25 -

I would have at least spit in the glass of water. A big snotty one.

8:27 -

Prison Break is coming back!!

8:30 -

Does the prison Sgt. have the hots for that terrorist?

8:32 -

That F.B.I. agent looks like someone who died last season. I don't think he was shot, but blown up.

CAVITY SEARCH!!!

8:38 -

Who is going to see 300? I sure am. IT IS GOING TO ROCK!!

And Back to the Yaris show.

8:40 -

Cola looks to have "kick ass" on full tilt.

8:41 -

Jack may have lost the force in getting those terrorists bastards to talk, but Assad has proven himself worthy. Well, in getting them to talk at least.

Wow, what a "for show" explosion. That wasn't C4. Although I don't think C4 can be triggered unless it has an electric fuse.

8:44 -

Sgt. is still eye-balling Mr. Terrorist.

8:45 -

An Allstate commercial. Funny.

8:48 -

The show is running about 5 minutes ahead. Remember, only half is in the box.

Dude, write him a check and BE GONE! Don't cry over it. You could always beat him to death with a lamp....

Scrambled eggs I guess.

8:55 -

Namir, is GONE! Who'd ua thunk it? NUmair? Newmear?

That is it for hour three. I need another drink and be back in time for hour four!!!

OKAY BACK!!

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 9:00 - 10:00 A.M.

9:00 -

A PLOY?!?!? DURRRRRRRRR!

9:03 -

"Your Upset!?" One hell of an understatement.

NUKE! > 100,000+ people.

9:05 -

Numair crossed the CITY in 5 minutes on FOOT?!?!

9:10 -

351 Old Mill R.d. Valencia. Could there be a nuke there? QUICK someone Google earth it. I can't find it.

9:15 -

Tabs and tables? Is Excel that necessary?

9:20 -

24- Making political meetings exciting since....

9:22 -

Cola's eyes are about to pop out.

9:25 -

DURKA! DURKA!?

9:25 -

Smart there guy. INSULT the guys with the guns and the NUKE!

9:28 -

BYE BYE SCOTT! (maybe)

9:30 -

ON DVD TOMORROW!?!?! What did I watch last week? Sheesh.

9:30 -

9:35 -

ALive? Awww.

He DID get the address right.

9:40 -

I watch House too. :)

I'm working on screen shots... bear with me.

9:45 -

COLA WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING?

9:50 -

OMG! Here it comes!

COLA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

9:55 -

Uh Oh.

LoL Nuke!

HOW IS THAT FOR A KILL COUNT!

I tried with the screen shots. Who knew nukes could be fun?

10:00 -

Well that was fun. I hope everyone enjoyed.

7am-7:59 am Blogs4Bauer style

2007-01-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

Hat tip: Blogs 4 Bauer's sick and brilliant minds......

07:00:00 to 07:15:22

So, Jack, having fed on the blood of the living, is hiding in a drain under his cell, recovering his super-human powers. Meanwhile, Imhotep and his henchman, Harvey Feirstein, search adjacent tunnels, until Harvey Feirstein convinces Imhotep to forget about Jack and concentrate on the terrorism.

As the terrorists go elsewhere, Jack finds a car, and busts a window and finds a phone, "Oh,snap!" he exclaims. He calls CTU. "Chiggy, listen to me carefully. Call off the air strike. You're killing the wrong man. Julian Bashir is not responsible for these attacks. If you kill him, you're going to get more white guilt from this than from the last six seasons of M*A*S*H." Chiggy arranges for Jack to be put through to the President. Jack reiterates, Imhotep: bad, Julian Bashir: Good, Frank Stallone: Pure Evil.
Suddenly, Gloria Allred turns into Janet Reno. "Don't listen to Jack Bauer, Mr. President. Go in there and burn 'em. Burn 'em all. Burn, baby, burn!"
Chiggy asks, "Honey, how many times last season was Jack right and you were wrong?"
Gloria Allred-Reno answers, "18,654 ... but I feel really good about this time."
President Chapelle agrees. "The air strike goes forward. It's a celebration, bitches!"

So, then Jack hotwires the car and races against time toward the address of Julian Bashir. He's racing against military helicopters in a Caprice Classic wagon in LA Rush Hour traffic, but by warping space and time and being "definitely an excellent driver," he makes it to the coordinates ahead of the shoppers.

Meanwhile, back at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Everyman, Bill Everyman Sr. is on the phone with the FBI, trying to learn where Behrooz-2007's father is. Imhotep calls Behrooz-2007 and tells him to go back and get his package. Behrooz agrees to go back to his house, but not before refusing a pendant from Bill Everyman Jr. "Neck jewelry looks really gay on me," he explains.

Meanwhile, Jack arrives at the air strike coordinates, cold-cocks one of the henchmen with his long, hard wood, and acquires a gun. Using the gun, he bursts into the bungalow, where four terrorists are working on computers. Mostly, they're doing payroll and EEOC filings. There's actually an awful lot of paperwork involved in terrorism. Then Bashir bursts into the room. He and Jack are in a standoff. Jack wins his trust by putting down his weapon.

Bashir admits that he has had a change of heart. Since coming to America, he's been watching a lot of Oprah and now he's convinced that America isn't the Great Satan, and Americans and Stallonists should join hands in the great drumming circle of life and sing Kum Ba Yah. "Can I have a hug?" he asks Jack. But Jack insists there's no time. Jack and Bashir make it out of the building just as Hellfire missiles rain down from above and destroy the one-story wooden bungalow in a hellish firestorm.

This being one of the more down and out neighborhoods of L.A. No one really notices. They figure somebody just crossed M-13.

07:18:51 to 07:26:55

Meanwhile, jack-booted FBI thugs raid a "community-service" organization that bears a striking resemblance to CAIR and demand personnel lists. The president's sister, Sandra Chapelle, a.k.a. Sister Act, stands up to them and insists they get a warrant. Her Arab assistant wants to cooperate fully, but she would rather call and her brother the president, and deliver an Important Message(TM) about the wrongness of ethnic profiling.

Meanwhile, within five minutes of the air strike, Cola is on the ground counting bodies. "One, two, three... four bodies." He counts twice, just to be sure. They soon determine that none of the bodies was Frank Stallone. Chiggy informs the president, the President asks John Caged Weasel what Frank Stallone will do next. John Caged Weasel does his Yoda impression, "Respond, he will."

In another part of town, Imhotep pulls inside a warehouse in a van, where a suicide bomber is being belted up for an attack. Imhotep gives him a little pep talk, and then arms the suicide belt. "You know what to yell at the moment of detonation?" he asks. "Allahu-Akhbar?" the bomber asks. Imhotep shakes his head, "No, we're changing the cry to, 'This is Bush's Fault.' It's more media-friendly."

07:31:22 to 07:37:02

Jack is trying to help Bashir escape the CTU Dragnet. He spots a target of opportunity, a house that movers have just finished packing and moving out of... at 7:30 in the morning. R--i-i-i-i-i-ght. Jack warns Bashir that CTU will know by now that he wasn't killed in the airstrike and will widen their search. Jack and Bashir argue over whether Bashir should turn himself in to CTU. "You should turn yourself in to CTU." Jack tells him. "No, I won't" Frank Stallone insists, it's more important that they find Imhotep. "Tell me where Imhotep is" Jack demands. Bashir 's henchman refuses. So, Jack jabs him in the nerve bundle on the left shoulder with a knife, which is usually very persuasive. But Jack takes pity on him and stops the torture, claiming the man doesn't know anything, he can tell by the look in his eyes. So, Bashir picks up the knife and stabs the truth of Imhotep's location out of him. Then stabs him to death, but politely apologizes to him as he does so, much in the manner of the African Bushman or the Indians of the Northern Plains who honored their prey after the hunt, unlike the white man, who just killed for pleasure and you all should feel very, very guilty about that.

Back at CTU, Chloe looks over imagery from the airstrike and spots Jack and two men running away just before the missiles hit. She promptly informs Chiggy Killer. Chiggy Killer and Chloe see the picture and affirm that Jack would never rescue Bashir out of simple compassion... because he isn't a fluffy little baby kitten. They know Jack was right and Mrs. Chiggy Killer was wrong (no surprise) and now they have to find Imhotep.

07:41:23 to 07:46:22

Anyway, back at CAIR, the FBI has returned with a warrant. Sister Act at first questions the legitimacy of the warrant, then relents, and allows them to get the personnel files out of the computer room. Then, she furiously begins deleting them. So, the FBI arrests her and impounds every work station and hard drive in the office. And we're supposed to be upset, I guess.

Meanwhile, Behrooz-2007 returns to his house, takes out his package, and fondles it lovingly. He is jumped by the neighborhood bigot and and furiously beaten. Then, Behrooz-2007 takes out a gun and shoots the bigot once in the leg, once in the neck. He pulls a piece of glass coffee table out of his leg. Bill Everyman Jr comes to the house and wants to call 9-11. Behrooz-2007 instead pulls a gun on him and lectures him on the correct pronunciation of Arabic names. It's a bit like the "Romanes Eunt Domus" scene in "Life of Brian" but not quite as funny. Almost as funny, but Behrooz-2007 just lacks John Cleese's priceless sense of comic timing.

07:50:42 to 07:59:59

Jack and Bashir are in a car, They spot Imhotep's men crossing the street, a handler and a suicide bomber, and heading into the Los Angeles subway, seriously imperiling both daily riders. The follow and watch from the Promenade. "You follow the handler, I'm going after the bomber, and Odo will... oh, never mind" Jack tells him. Jack and the bomber get on the same car. The train pulls away from the station. Bashir follows the handler.

Jack sees the terrorist sitting near the back of the subway car, the detonator in his right hand. The ticket taker asks for Jack's ticket, "I'm Jack Bauer. I'm a Federal Agent. You have a terrorist on this train. Now move away." The ticket guy hears this from scary disheveled homeless guys all the time. LA Metro policy requires him to back off slowly and not make any sudden moves. Sean Penn gets free rides this way all the time.

Jack jumps the terrorist and they struggle. Jack is normally able to kill a man instantly when the situation requires it, but this scene requires more fighting. The terrorist breaks free and stands by the rear door. "It's Bush's fault!" he yells, then detonates. Jack hard kicks him in the gut and he falls out of the train and explodes on the tracks. Which is a bummer for him. You don't get 72 virgins for causing property damage.

Henchman reports that Union Station was not blown up. The bomb went off four blocks too soon. But, bombs in Baltimore and Chicago went off as planned, and Imhotep is pretty pleased overall.

The White House gets the news that even though they went through with the deal, and the airstrike, terror bombings continue, Gloria Allred approaches the President and grimly informs him that, it's now 18,655 times Jack was right and she was wrong

Curiously, the missile attack on the house in Inglewood has not made the news. Probably because ChapelleCo controls the media.

My 24 Summary

2007-01-15T07:40:00.000-08:00

6am-6:59am summary

OK, it's 6 am, and unusually dark in LA. We see the fruits of the new Congress, terrorism everywhere! Just kidding, but it's bad, and it's been nonstop for 11 weeks or so. A Middle Eastern guy is getting looks, while everyone is watching the news. 'Whaaaaat? I didn't do anything. You're mean...' he's thinking. ME guy wants to get on a bus, but Ralph Kramden won't let him on. ME guy is yelling, 'I'm gonna be late to work at Inetech! And my name is Nainanajar, Na-ina-na-jar! Piece of sh-t! Argh!' The bus gets a block or so down the street, as an Asian guy turns on his ipod, and after one too many hits of Taylor Hicks, it blows up and triggers C-4, taking out him, Taylor, Ralph Kramden, and 3 dozen others.

In DC, it's 9 am, and very much light. President Palmer, Wayne Palmer, is fretting over this attack, and one the day before in San Antonio. His advisers include Frau Blucher (hourse outside neighs), aka Karen Hayes the National Security Advisor(Hughes?), the little curly haired guy from Ally McBeal, we'll call him Stenko for now, a couple of no-name generals, and the Secret Service, minus Agent Red. And nowhere is seen Mike Novick or Secretary Heller. Defense and a veteran aid are needed, hello? Stenko advises the US detain the ME types in detention centers, they're not concentration camps! No Germans are near em, so we're clear. Frau Blucher, (horse neighs), speaks. She's against it as this will bite us in the butt, look at the Civil War and WWII internments.... No alternatives, apparently. Except, CTU is all over it, and President Wayne is expecting a call from them.....

Now, we're back in LA, at CTU. Milo from season 1 is the head IT guy at CTU, and he's got the Michael Bolton(Office Space guy) Complex. Stuff is going wrong. 'PC Load Letter, what the f-ck does that mean?! Chloe, Morris, help now!' Chloe is now HOT! WTF, you may think, but she is. And her ex, Morris, is at CTU also. SPorting his English accent. Now, we've got Hot ME CTU Director here, and she knows Jack Bauer is coming back to the US. The Chinese are handing him over to us. What was their rationale? 'After a few hours, we felt empty and ready for more. His torture last longer than full stomach after MSG food.'

Jack comes back, on a Chinese transport, looking like a cross between Castaway and Dee Snider. He's twitching, he's got more scars than a plastic surgery junkie, a gnarly burned hand, and is staring off. Chiggie Killer and Cola show up. COla is ready to bust a cap if Jack gets cute. Chigs and Cola tell Jack, he's back, and he is free so a terrorist he bumped uglies with can kill him, and if he kills Jack, he will disclose the whereabouts of boss, Yasser Arafat. Sorry, his name's Assad. Asshead, whatever. Jack is given a major haircut, shower, and clean change of clothes from Kohl's.

Jack's arrival is told to Chloe who gets weepy and wants to save Jack. I think she's got a crush and wants some Bauer Power. 2 years in prison, he's gotta be ready to reclaim some turf. Audrey, watch out! 2 years in prison, no bitchy comments from Kim. Wew, aw scheisse, my peace and quiet is over! Damn! Kill me now!

At the White House, Frau Blucher (horse neighs, staffers are puzzled at the horse in the West Wing, oddly used to the jackasses in it though) calls Chigs and they talk. She's worried about the camps and the plan to kill Assad. Chigs is worried Jack may go off. And both talk in baby talk. 'Miss you pumpkin.' 'Miss you two, silver hair.' Chiggy remembers to save her new number, and stop calling Blucher's 1-900 number.

At this time, the FBI is given powers to arrest ANYONE that Stenko and the govment may find a threat. Haji is now nervous when he goes to the airport as Dr. Quest, Johnny and Race whisper to the FBI, 'Dude, he's in a turban. I know it looks like he's Sikh, but dude, get him....' Johnny's still made about what Haji did to Bandit. Bandit still ain't walkin right.

Jack is riding through a bright and sunny LA, even after the dark disappears, and is commenting on how torture wasn't as bad as watching The View. Then Chigs and Cola get a call from President Palmer, who talks to Jack. He then tells him, sorry Jack, but you're gonna be the sacrificial lamb. Jack retorts, you know what they do to lambs over there, before they kill em' right? It's baaaaad. Noooooo. Palmer thinks about it and feels pity for Jack being treated like a sheep in the ME, but it's either Jack's ass or millions of asses on the line. Jack agrees, whatever dude, let's do it.

CTU then hands off Jack to the terrorists. Chigs and Cola are about to cry and share a man hug, but drive off. They get back to CTU, in LA, no traffic. Imagine that! At the White House, Stenko and Palmer are getting the Marines Cobra choppers ready for attack on Assad, once they get the coordinates. COBRA!!!!

Now, in Suburbia, we have a nuclear family. Mom, dad, and a skater kid teenager. Bam Marjera is seeing a Ford pull up to their neighbor's house. The neighbor is Arab, so naturally he's hauled off in a hood and in cuffs. Bam is upset, and yells, "Phil! They're taking Kumar's dad! WTF is this?" 'Bam, it's probably one of your jackass episodes, so don't worry.' "Dad, the FB freakin I took Kumar's dad! That's f-cked up!" 'OK, let's see what's up with Kumar, son. No more fireworks at night!' "Oh OK." As Bam lights a fuse. Kumar, a Behrooz clone, sees his dad driven off, then his redneck neighbor, Dauber and a flunky show up. They start pounding on the door, and are about to give Kumar Deliverance Treatment, when Phil surges in and kicks ass! All the time April Marjera is trying to shoo another alligator out of the kitchen, as Johnny and Dunn laugh off camera. Phil sumos Dauber, as the flunky watches. He tells Dauber to leave, or he's gonna get mean. Dauber leaves, for now. Kumar and Bam share a moment and they invite Kumar to chill in the Marjera home til things cool off.

Chloe is watching this and wants to help. But Hot ME CTU boss is pissed, as is Buchanan. If CTU tracks the terrorists, they won't help us killed Big Badder Terrorist. Palmer let em hack into our surveillance as a guarantee.

Meanwhile, back at terrorist lair, head terrorist, tortures Jack. Terrorist Baldie says Jack tortured his brother to death and wants to give Jack is comeuppance. Baldie slices into Jack's shoulder, hitting a bundle of nerves, pokes his spinal nerves with a corkscrew, and makes Jack watch The View Gone Wild videos. Now Jack screams at Rosie O'Donnell doing a raunchy dance. As this happens, the villain, stupidly tells Jack he's setting up Assad to take the fall for his antics. And Assad is trying to stop him from having any fun. Thanks for helping me kill the good guy, jackass! Ugh, Jack thinks as he passes out.

This bald guy then gives CTU the coordinates, after the satellite feed is killed. Baldie Calls Kumar and tells him to get 'the package' ready. Kumar is pissed that his dad was captured and he can't talk to loud as Bam is about to play a bad joke on April, again. And this time Wee Man is helping. Hehe, midgets are funny.

As bald guy leaves Jack alone with a nameless guard, Jack takes a bite out of crime and terrorist boy's neck! As Jack turns into one of The Lost Boys, he tears out a dude's jugular, let's him bleed, the guy dies and goes limp. hehe, he said limp. And Jack is one.....

Bald Baddie is pissed and has his guys search an air vent. Jack in a storm drain, is now waiting to kick some ass......

Wait til next hour!!!!

24 is back! Heck ya!

2007-01-15T07:26:00.000-08:00

Here's a good summary from Blogs4Bauer, you dudes and gals ROOOOOOCK!

6:00am
900 people dead? Car bomb in New York....Muslims late for work.... I love 24
BOOOOOOMMMMM 23 more dead.
"Lock up everyone who prays to Mecca"? Is Sean Hannity president?

President Wayne Palmer.... When does he do his first Allstate commercial?
Failure? With CTU involved? No you have to be joking?

Chloe...swwwwiiinnnnggg Kim Bauer who?
"Morris we are at work....meet me in Conference Room B in 20"
Jack's coming back and he is going to love your new haircut/killing Aaarrabbs.

We don't know his state of mind? When have we ever?
Did someone order a #43 with a side of homicidal maniac?

"Jack Bauer did not breath (or pee) for 2 years..."
Jack forced to die for CTU in the first 10 minutes? What are we going to do for the next 23 hours and 50 minutes? Oh right.

JACK BAUER'S FIRST WORDS IN 2 YEARS? "Where is Penis Nose"? What did those Chinese bastards do to him?

Commercial Break
Someone give me a Pats update! Pats up 3 with 1:10 left.... DAMMMITT
While Imm happy that movie 300 gave us more photos on Myspace, I will still never go see that stupid movie.

Tckkk...
LA hit by terrorists.......Personally I'm glad that I'm not counting each kill on the kill counter. Maybe we should count Chloe's bitchy comments...1,2,3,4...
I smell mole......Hot muslim chick is a mole. Chloe will steal her keycard, log into her computer and check her Myspace page and see if Assad is in her top 8.

Jack flew from China, drove from the airport, had the sun rise, and are almost at CTU in less than 20 minutes. He hasn't lost a beat. But will he remember how to use a cell phone? Yes.

Jack Bauer handcuffed to a grate with no cellphone? That poor grate. What did that grate ever do to deserve this?

6:30.......
Let me just say that 24 is awesome. Watching 24 on HDTV is really awesome.
Pats - 24 Chargers - 21
Audrey was on that lame show The Nine (which I think only lasted a few weeks). Michelle Dessler was on The Knights of Prosperity last week (equally lame).
6:36...
Drudge is livebloging?

Someone's attacking Behrooz? Dude, I think we should smoke some weed and blow up a White Castle...I mean eat...

New Evil Guy's nickname: Mr. Abu Al-Clean

6:46
Jack is so screwed and Prison Break's return means the absolute end to all of my Monday nights.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I think Jack likes this torture.

6:57
Jack Bauer is dead? Tyler D...you killed him. Chloe... you too. Morris...grow some hair...

Kill Counter
Jack Bauer kills using his mouth (4 points)
He didn't say anything cool or have on aviators. However, he probably has not brushed his teeth in 2 years, so his breath had to be torture.
Jack Bauer vampire. Lestat is a sissy.

Kill Counter Hour 1 Total = 4 Points

Live Blogging Hour 2
Previously on 24, a bunch of B-rate actors from movies you have never seen are on your favorite show.

7:00

Jack is stuck in the LA sewers... He grabs one of Rosie Odonnell's diaprams and floats to CTU.

Jack Bauer could have started that car with his finger.

President Palmer to Bauer: Sorry I tried to have you killed....its this damn Palmer blood that is running through my veins.

Product Placement: Nextel.

The racist neighbor was right, his muslim target is a terrorist. I love Fox....sometimes

Someone called in the US Marines....the next best thing after Jack Bauer.

7:10 - first Token mention. Did someone order a Bacardi and Cola?

Why does Jack introduce himself? There is a mole inside the terrorist group? I see they have the same writers from the past 5 seasons.

Boooooommmm
7:15
If Jack Bauer was dropped from a crane, he would come out in China. In fact, that is how the Chinese really returned Jack Bauer to America. They dropped him from a crane in Bejing and he popped up in LA.

7:19
"There are no terrorists here"..... 24 Rules says "There are terrrorists here"

Sandra, stop being like Sherry Palmer and help us out. Civil protections, Bush is evil, war for oil..... There are always people looking out for the rights of others/terrorists.

Is that Barack Obama? Talk about overexposure.

"Respond he will guaranteed" - what is he? Yoda?

7:26

This season of 24 will setback images of muslims something like 2 years. We have come so far...

If I never see that stupid SHARP golf commercial again... I thought I'd seen it the last of it during the World Series when they had it in every commercial rotation.

7:31

In case you are just joining us, Jack Bauer is helping out terrorists. Now stop asking what the hell is going on.

Bauer: "WHERE IS HE!!!" .... everyone drink never mind, he didn't say "We are running out of time".

In the kneecap.....oooooohhhhh Camel Nuts that hurts.

American flag in the background as we see some torture scenes....24 brought to you by The New York Times.

7:37

"I don't know how to do this anymore" - Jack Bauer. Oh crap, America is so screwed. Jack Bauer doesn't torture, another Hannibal movie is coming out, the Patriots are going to the AFC Championship. What do I have to live for? Oh right; Prison Break returns soon and we can make fun of retards on American Idol.

7:41
Obama calls Palmer. The FBI is back and they want to ask questions about my People magazine photoshoot.

Roger Clinton meet Sandra Palmer.

BANG... Some noname from Harold and Kumar just shot the catcher from Major League 2. Any minute now, the cast of Weekend at Bernies will show up and we will all have a good laugh.

6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Rube Baker was the catcher for the Cleveland Indians in Major League 2....President Palmer played outfield. Dennis Haysbert was in What's Cooking? (2000) with Maury Chaykin Maury Chaykin was in Where the Truth Lies (2005) with Kevin Bacon

7:50

Product Placement: Toyota

Those are some clean subways. Are you watching New York?

I'd hate to be a muslim on the subway on Tuesday....someone is going to get their bag checked.

Only Jack Bauer gets a free subway ride by claiming a terrorist is on board.

BOOOOOMMMMMMM

Kill Counter
Jack Bauer killed an arab with explosives/feet (1 point)

"we have no way to fight back"....J-A-C-K- do I need to continue spelling?

7:58...7:59

Seriously...with the constant attacks on our country, why do we elect Palmers?

Fox has some really stupid commercials for movies and TV shows that we will just have to put up with. My suggestion is liberal use of the MUTE button.

Final Kill Counter Total for Hours 1-2: 5 points

Tomorrow: The Kill Counter will get some nice pointage as Jack Bauer claims that he "can't do this anymore"...until someone pisses him off. Then he tends to go overboard.

If you live in the NY area....it is that time of year when the Fox5 News team like to tease a 24-related story and hold on until after the last story to broadcast it. I hate that.

Remember. Tomorrow is Talk Like Jack Bauer Day

Jack Bauer coming undone?

2007-01-14T12:18:00.000-08:00

Check this out, we will still have Jack Bauer, but he will become more and more vulnerable and close to breakdown, soon.

Promise.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/01/11/apontv.24returns.ap/index.html

For Jack Bauer, saving America is all in a day's work.

But early in this new day on the Fox thriller "24," his calling as the counter-terrorist go-to guy has clearly taken its toll.

"Tell the president I'm sorry," Bauer sobs into his cell phone just four hours into the current daylong ordeal. "I can't do this anymore."

By now, even staunch "24" fans may feel the same way, having suffered with Jack -- and with the preyed-upon nation whose very survival depended on him -- for the past five seasons.

But he will carry on, of course. And so will we, answering the call of the explosive first four episodes of "24" when they air Sunday and Monday from 8 to 10 p.m. EST. (Watch Kiefer Sutherland talk "24" )

Two years have elapsed since last season's crush of crises du jour, a day that saw Bauer (Emmy winner Kiefer Sutherland) bring down treasonous President Charles Logan -- and then, in a cruel twist, get kidnapped and thrown in the hold of a China-bound tanker to face punishment for raiding a Chinese consulate.

The present day finds the United States in turmoil as, moments after 6 a.m., an L.A. city bus is blown up by a suicide bomber. Thought to be the work of Islamic militants, it's the latest in a series of bombings that have pushed Americans to the brink of hysteria.

"They're afraid to leave their homes," says President Wayne Palmer (younger brother of former President David Palmer), reaching out to Bauer in desperation. "They're actually starting to turn against each other."

The president has managed to get Jack sprung from the Chinese and returned to L.A. He needs him for a quid pro quo to stop the carnage.

It will mean (what else is new?) Bauer's almost certain death.

"It will be a relief," says traumatized, tormented Jack.

But relief is something Bauer never gets. Always in motion and obliged to cheat death, he's a slave to against-all-odds endurance. For the sake of America. And at the price of high anxiety for "24" devotees.

The edge of truth
It's been that way since the series premiered.

"24" took flight from an ambitious if gimmicky concept: a multi-strand narrative of action and intrigue whose indefatigable hero would fight domestic terrorism in an hour-by-hour, real-time rush tracking a single day that would span a full season.

But then, just weeks before its premiere, "24" received unbidden, awful validation: the events of 9/11. Indeed, the series got off to a particularly uncomfortable start when, on its first episode (aired November 6, 2001), a terrorist blew up the jetliner in which she had been a passenger, cleverly parachuting to safety.

Through no fault of its own, "24" arrived seeming far too close to real life. The hopped-up dread that propelled "24" must have struck many viewers that first season not as sleek escapism, but as quite the opposite: a disturbing ricochet off their own altered world.

The first season, "24" won critical acclaim as Bauer foiled an assassination plot against David Palmer, then a black U.S. Senator on the fast track to the Oval Office. But "24" wasn't a hit. It ranked 74th place in viewers.

Its ratings ascendancy has come in recent years (last season it was tied for 24th), maybe owing to the passage of time since 9/11. (People have also caught up with the show on DVD.)

But, more likely, it's thanks to the series' knack for somehow raising the apocalyptic stakes of each crisis Bauer confronts. And to the growing assurance with which "24" somehow straddles the extremes of hyper-real and preposterous: "24" is patently absurd on so many levels, yet it's as white-knuckles gripping as anything on TV. If we look too close, it's laughable. But it cuts too near the truth to not keep watching.

"24" fans were blown away by last season's fearsome frolic with President Logan. A foppish wretch, he turned out to be behind a cockamamie plan to manufacture deadly nerve gas and sell it to foreign terrorists. But then they threw him a curve by making Los Angeles, not Russia, their intended target. Compounding his villainy, Logan had a hand in David Palmer's murder.

Now it's a new day dawning, and if 6 a.m. through 10 a.m. proves anything, this season will up the ante even further.

Created in a nation that no longer exists, "24" has deftly adapted to the post-9/11 era in which it's enfolding. When the ground shifted beneath it, "24" shifted, too: from a series that would dramatize the unthinkable, to an all-too-thinkable vision of some day looming soon.

"24" is a wildly idealized view of our nation's response to the threat of terrorism on our soil, yet -- even within the series' tidy 24-hour window -- it has thus far withheld easy answers and happy endings. Jack Bauer, the nation's point man for homeland security, is valiant but steadily unraveling.

So "24" triumphs as a series it surely never set out to be: an exceptional adventure about lowered expectations. Its message is clear: Prevailing is too much for a nation to hope for. At the end of the day, endurance will have to do.

WWJBD?

2007-01-14T12:16:00.000-08:00

What Would Jack Bauer Do?

Watch frickin 24!

Yes, it starts TONIGHT, 8 pm ET, 7 pm CT....... And it's 2 hours of Jack Bauer getting back from China, re-acclimating to life, and then starting a season of terrorist shredding galore!

And expect CAIR to take issue with terrorist cells and suicide bombers who just happen to be Muslim.

And after that, expect some stupid convoluted BS about evil corporate America and a treacherous VP or White House Administration boss......

But, til then, ENJOY!

Barbara Boxer: I won't apologize! She's childless after all!

2007-01-12T12:10:00.000-08:00

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,243359,00.html

Well, thanks California for giving us another ninny for Senator. This time, Barbara Boxer more or less scolds Secretary Rice for not having children or a family and how dare she empathize with the troops and their sacrifices. This from Boxer, who has NO relatives serving in Iraq, and who has voted AGAINST those same troops funding at every turn. Thanks California. Thanks for nothing.

Boxer might as well have said this:

Well, how dare you question me! Do you know who I know? Heh, you have no kids! You have no family! Only liberals with kids and families can dare talk about Iraq with expertise. Anyone else, shut up! You're not important, I am! You're not good Americans! I'm better! F-ck with me and the Speaker and you're gonna face an audit! We're Californians! We're better than you! So F-ck off, Butterfly McQueen! F-ck you and your Uncle Tom stance! Be a free minded Kapo, oops, Kalifornian like mois!

Come on Babs, have the guts to say what you REALLY MEAN.

Ah, if TV could read her hideous thoughts.

And if this had been a GOP Senator scolding a lady like this, there'd be effigies of them burning all over Cali, and no doubt The View hypocrites would shake their heads and fake self-righteousness.

Hiatus from politics is over, you liberals are toooooooooast!

For Saddam's Sympathizers, Check Out Dis Shit

2007-01-05T07:32:00.000-08:00

OK, the usual morons and terrorist supporters are denouncing Saddam's hanging, albeit no different then when Mussolini or Herr Streicher and Kaltenbrunner were executed after WWII.

To those of you crying for him, check out this link. This is the shit he did to his own people. These are Saddam's favorite methods of execution and torture. Warning: This shit is graphic, so don't view this on a full stomach or too late at night.....

http://fdd.typepad.com/fdd/2006/01/alert_saddams_c.html

Happy New Year, Folks

2007-01-03T18:25:00.000-08:00

Well, no pontificating, no major news, just wishing y'all a happy new year. It will be an interesting one, that's a guarantee.

Happy New Year Iraq, Guess what's gonna swing from a rope....

2006-12-29T14:33:00.000-08:00

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/12/29/D8MAPC2O0.html

Saddam Hussein, sentenced to die, back in November, is set to be executed, at 10 pm EST, US Time, which is morning over there.

Well, Saddam, since you killed millions, endangered and ruined even more lives, enjoy your eternity in hell.

By the way, your funeral is gonna make the Mussolini corpse pinata bash look like a state funeral. Enjoy it, sucka!

Say hi to your two depraved sons and Al Zarqawi when you enter the 7th Circle of Hell.

Ding Dong, That Sumbitch is dead!

Now, back to other scumbag terrorists....

Danny Bonaduce: Don't Interrupt him at lunch

2006-12-20T05:57:00.000-08:00

Here's what happens when a stupid and thoughtless liberal, like Moonshine, interrupts a former child star at lunch. Notice Danny doesn't strut around like Hollyweird, but he has the guts to tell off this prick at Resistence Manifesto.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnliRXAIyIo

Remember, Former Child Stars, are people too, they're just the same as you and you and you...... (Dickie Roberts song- Former Child Stars starts playing)

Funny bit of wisdom

2006-12-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

From Da Ali G Show: So, if this show teach you anything, it should teach you how to respek everyone: animals, children, bitches, spazmos, mingers, lezzers, fatty boombahs, and even gaylords. So, to all you lot watching this, but mainly to the normal people, respek. West side.

that was Ali G

Next, we have Borat......

In U.S. and A. they treat horses like we in Kazakhstan treat our women. They feed them two times a day. They have them sleep on straw in a small box. And for entertainment, they make them jump over fences while being whipped.

American wine is like Kazahkstani wine, but not made from fermented horse urine.

Very sorry to interrupt politic. Might I make a shit in your house?

I'd like to thank my brother in law and sister for getting me Da Ali G Show for Christmas. It's pretty darned funny, if you're a sick and twisted freak. I'm not seeing Borat til I finish the first 2 seasons on DVD.

Other cool stuff I got for early Christmas, since I'll be out of town:

24 Season 5

World Trade Center on DVD

Collectors Coins

The 40 Year Old Virgin (frickin hilarious)

Money

Cards

Clothes

etc.

How's everyone's Christmas been so far?

24 COUNTDOWN

2006-12-14T07:13:00.000-08:00

30 Days, 9 hours, 45 minutes, and something seconds til Season 6 of 24 premieres.....

That's Houston Time, adjust for you area accordingly.

Just to let you know, the newest trailer rocks......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRCKcVcUWH8

Or try the official Fox Site.....

http://www.24trailer.com/

Roooooocks!

And 24 has been nominated for at least 2 Golden Globes. 1 for Kiefer Sutherland for Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama. The other Best TV Series Drama.

Heck yea!

Democrats fly to Syria to hold Assad's hand

2006-12-13T18:10:00.000-08:00

They call it negotiating. Anyone with half a brain knows it's something else involving Bill Nelson's mouth and Bashir's zipper.......

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061214/ap_on_go_co/us_syria

And of course, John Kerry is flying over shortly. He wants to make up for missing out on Jane Fonda and Ramsey Clark's Hanoi Hilton Tour. Kill any troops lately, Jane?

Three Years Ago Today

2006-12-13T07:20:00.000-08:00

Three years ago, December 12, 2003, US Army Soldiers of the 4th ID captured tyrant and dictator Saddam Hussein. Was he in Der Bunker, as his role model Adolf was? Was he in a dacha like Stalin was in his last days? Was he the brave fearless leader?

Nope, he was caught cowering in a spider hole with a loaded gun, and $750K in US money. Real leader, hiding til he could sneak out. Well, he was caught, tried, and sentenced to death.

Thank you soldiers of the 4th ID for your endeavour.

For more info, check the following link....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Red_Dawn

Oh Hohohohoho, Look Who Grew a Pair!

2006-12-12T06:18:00.000-08:00

SeaTac I apologize and retract my earlier statements.....

Kudos to you.....

Christmas Trees are back up and it looks like the Grinch saw the light....

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20061212/D8LV9I1G0.html

Christmastime is Grinchtime, says SeaTac Airport

2006-12-11T07:21:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well, rather than put up a menorah next their Christmas tree or brave litigation, Seattle Tacoma International Airport removes ALL of the Airport's Christmas Trees. The original complaint, by a rabbi, was that there was no Menorah or Hannukah decore next to the Christmas decore. He threatened to sue unless they put up his stuff also. Who's to blame? The Jews, again? Or rather spineless airport officials who may instead fear acquiesing to Jews and Christians, and a stupid fear of floodgates being opened? I blame the airport.

Thanks a lot, you Sons of Grinches.... Merry Freakin Christmas.... Argh.

http://www.king5.com/localnews/stories/NW_120906WABxmastreesEL.11b0d0cc.html#

Deck The Halls: Fala-Allah-la, La Allah La......

2006-12-08T16:05:00.000-08:00

Well, thank you terrorists for making the malls into armed camps and shopping more complicated than the cage fight spectacle it already is.

Ya bunch of bastards.....

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,235620,00.html

Well, since they wanna Deck The Halls with bombs and get their jollies, we ought make fun of Fall Allah La Allah La La...... Religion of Peace, right? Riiiiight?

Mark my words. If these goat fellating bunch of ass punks screw with Christmas, it will be on.

Jihadist Mall Massacre foiled by FBI

2006-12-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

Well, tis the season to be a motherf-ckin excuse for a human being for some people.....

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,235518,00.html

A man has been arrested by federal agents on charges of planning to set off hand grenades at an Illinois shopping mall on Dec. 22 as part of his plan to commit "violent jihad" against civilians.

Yes the mooselimb targeted unarmed civilians. Women, kids, old folks, and probably a few department store Santas. Thank God this piece of grabastic amphibian Shiite got apprehended. WTF are you so mad about that you wanna bomb a mall days before Christmas? Didn't get that copy of Muslims Gone Wild on DVD? Awww, poor baby.....

Derrick Shareef, 22, of Rockford, was arrested when he carried out a rendezvous with an undercover agent in a parking lot to trade a set of stereo speakers for four grenades and a handgun.

Grenades and a HANDGUN. I wonder what he wanted to do? Do an episode of punk'd? Nooooo, he intended to spread death and destruction in the name of the religion of pieces. And the silence from his fellow Muslims is defeaning......

Federal officials said he planned to place the grenades in garbage cans at the CherryVale shopping mall in Rockford, about 90 miles northwest of Chicago.

Shareef was charged with one count of attempting to damage or destroy a building by fire or explosion and one count of attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction. Officials say he was acting alone and there was never any real threat.

Send him to Oz, send him to prison to die a miserable death. Execution is too good, hand him over to a mob of pissed of Midwesterners, or better yet drop his ass in Brooklyn with a 9/11 Plotter sign. See the Italians give him a hands on welcome.

Bastard.

Yeah, we're still at war, libs.

Iranian Von Ribbentropp sullies December 7 in NYC with 'speech'

2006-12-07T14:08:00.000-08:00

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,235279,00.html

More or less, the Nazi rewrites history to make the Jewish Holocaust as the catalyst for worse and more evil atrocities against the Arabs.....

No response from the Democrats or Chamberlain types as usual.

Someone forgot their history. And now we may have to repeat it.

Pearl Harbor Day

2006-12-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

December 7, 1941- 65 years ago Japan attacked the US Naval installations at Pearl Harbor, along with Army, and Marine installations in Hawaii, Guam, Midway and other bases in the Pacific. That day over 2300 Americans died at Pearl Harbor. That was a Day of Infamy.

60 years later, September 11, 2001 another Day of Infamy hit the US. Time over 2700 were killed, mostly civilians, non-military.

This year will not be the last year we ever commemorate Pearl Harbor, but many Survivors Groups are calling it a finale after this year. 65 years, and age have dwindled the group numbers. A Generation is almost gone. To that Generation who endured a sneak attack, and fought back, and did not care about polls and pundits, our undying gratitude goes out to you. The Greatest Generation indeed.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061207/ap_on_re_us/pearl_harbor_remembered

BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIES

2006-11-27T11:50:00.000-08:00

OK, this is just a short list, but if you wanna add some or give funny quotes, rock on.

Best Christmas Movies, serious or funny.....

10. White Christmas- nothing says Merry Christmas like Bing and Danny singing White Christmas and of course doing the Rosemary Clooney song Sisters. Funny stuff, for vintage movie.

9. Lethal Weapon- it's set during Christmas. Also, Mel Gibson's character, Martin Riggs starts out suicidal during Christmas time and ends on Christmas going to dinner with his partner and best friend. Character recclaims humanity during extraneous circumstances....

8. Christmas Carol- two versions, one with Alistair Sim and a young Patrick MacNee (the Avengers) very good, black and white, 1951. Another, just as good, 1984 TV version with George C Scott as Scrooge, David Warner as Cratchitt, and Edward Woodward (The Equalizer and Churchill The Wilderness Years) as The Ghost of Christmas Present. Who do you think would be a good Scrooge if they tried another retelling? My money's on Anthony Hopkins or Sir Ian McKellan.

7. Trading Places- Dan Akroyd is a commodities trader framed for embezzlement and drug dealing, while Eddie Murphy is a vagrant whom Akroyd wanted arrested for "attempting to rob him." How? Well, two old rich guys(Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy) switch Eddie with Dan, and the vagrant is now a rich man, with street smarts, and Akroyd is now the poor man clueless to the blue collar world. It's a bet on an experiment in what will overtake a man, hereditary versus good environment. It's set around Christmas time, and in fact has a hilarious Christmas scene or two. Now vagrant Dan Akroyd is seen staggering to a bus, drunk, and when Eddie yells out to him, he just growls loudly.....Jamie Lee Curtis is in this as Akroyd's lady of the night friend, who albeit a member of the oldest profession, helps Akroyd stay alive and helps he and Eddie get even with the old rich guys, bankrupt them, and take their fortune back. Another scene, Christmas morning, Eddie is being strangled by Akroyd, and he's groaning- "IT was the Dukes! It was the Dukes!"

6. Bad Santa- so wrong, so raunchy, but so funny. Billy Bob Thornton plays the perfect reprehensible Santa, who eventually does some good in his life. John Ritter's last film. See Santa beat a hood kid. See Santa in a hot tub with a chick he just met at the local bar. See Santa and his surly little black midget rob a department store. And see Santa do all other bad things.....

5. Scrooged- Bill Murray, Alfre Woodard, the late Robert Mitchum, John Houseman, and Buddy Hackett (good cameos by the last 3 deceased actors) in a modern and comedic retelling of A Christmas Carol. The ghosts are worth the watch, The Ghost of Christmas Past- wisecracking NYC Cabbie, Christmas Present- a nutcracking sugarplum fairy played by Carol Cane, and Christmas Future- silent and very dark Grim Reaper- provides the film's darker moments and re-awakening of Murray's character to life and all it means. And another plus Bobcat Golthwait going disgruntled during a live telecast at Murray's TV network.

4. The Ref- Judy Davis and Kevin Spacey are taken hostage by burglar Denis Leary. Their family is so dysfunctional and irritating, that Leary contemplates suicide, but works out a hilarious escape, with the help of the bickering husband and wife, Kev and Judy. Leary has great rants, Spacey goes off, and Judy Davis does very well. Funny film, albeit twisted.

3. TIE- Die Hard/Die Hard 2. Die Hard- the first one, still the best. Alan Rickman, great as a terrorist, his first American film, and no doubt an intro to Mr. Rickman's wide array of acting- comedic (if not by accident) to dead serious as Hans, the terrorist. Bruce and his wife are separated, but low and behold what the events bring. Die Hard 2- how can the same sh-t happen to the same guy twice? Good question, too bad the terrorists get wasting in a more gruesome(icesicle to one's eyeball) or spectacular(airport terminal shootout, plane detonated in midair) manner. Yippykayae and Merry Christmas, Misterfarmer(edited version with cheesy voice).

2. It's A Wonderful Life- the classic 1946 Frank Capra masterpiece. Jimmy Stewart as frustrated yet blessed everyman George Bailey. Donna Reed as his devoted wife Mary, and of course let's not forget Clarence the Angel, brother Harry, Uncle Billy, Mister Potter, and Heehaw Sam Wainright. Great film on retrospect, and what if life had not been. Overtly Christian. None will ever be made like this, ever again. Don't any of you hacks dare remake this classic! Colorization was bad enough. Let It's a Wonderful life be.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation- nothing says Merry Frickin Christmas like Clark Griswold causing brownouts with his lights. Putting a 20 foot high tree in his 10 foot high living room. And of course, an asshole in a bathrobe emptying his chemical toilet into a sewer. Merry Christmas, shitter's full! Oh and let's not forget the neighbors getting jumped by a SWAT Team, Clark commenting on how nipply it is outside, and of course Aunt Bethany reciting grace, I pledge of allegiance, to the flag. However, in the end there's a Christmas star, with flying reindeer, and the sewer exploding from the chemical toilet stuff coming into contact with a match. BOOM! That's a good movie there!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to all of you.

Oh, and here's some good Christmas TV Specials.

-Charlie Brown Christmas
-Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
-Family Guy Merry Freakin Christmas Special- Hey wanna lemon sno cone? No thanks guys, the last one you gave me didn't taste like lemon, it tasted like, oh you guys are asses!
-Simpsons Xmas Special- Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
-Saturday Night Live Xmas Past- see Santi-Wrap, Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood with Eddie Murphy (And I am so glad Christmas is the time of giving. And look what Mr. Landlord gave me. It's an eviction notice!), the original ending to It's A Wonderful Life- (take that Potter, you son of a bitch!)
-The Rat Pack Xmas
-Bugs Bunny Christmas
-Mickey's Christmas Carol
-To name a few.....

I'm taking a hiatus from politics for a while.

Hell Froze Over Today!

2006-11-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

UT got whooped by A&M today, for the first time in years!

What Faustian pact did Francione sign for this win?

http://sports.yahoo.com/ncaaf/boxscore;_ylt=ArhEIcUgD04ok.y6bmSNQn05nYcB?gid=200611240083

Just when you thought the Cold War was over......

2006-11-24T11:28:00.000-08:00

http://news.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13553599,00.html

Russian KGB/FIS (whatever they are now) poisons ex Russian spy for speaking out on regime. Polonium 210 was found in the dead Russian spy.

And of course, Russia giving Iran an anti-aircraft missile defense, gotta conclude glasnost is over. The bad old days are back in full swing.

THANKSGIVING HUMOR

2006-11-22T07:31:00.000-08:00

Dave Letterman, he can still be funny.

Top Ten Things Overheard at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

10. Watch out! The Amtrak float is heading this way!

9. Look, mom -- two men kissing!

8. Oh my God! Somebody just dropped a can of paint on Willard!

7. Hey, the New York Giant's float is going the wrong way. It's losing yardage.

6. Inflate me.

5. That big purple-faced thing isn't the Barney balloon -- it's Ted Kennedy!

4. Macy's sucks!

3. I'll take two pretzels, Gov. Cuomo.

2. That's not the Dolly Parton balloon -- that's Dolly Parton.

1. That ain't gravy.

Robert Altman Dead, 81

2006-11-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

MASH director Robert Altman died today, at age 81. Altman had made such films as Godsford Park, The Player, Short Cuts, among a fiew. Altman was a well regarded and very candid director.

Goodbye Mr. Altman. You will no doubt be missed but remembered.

Kosmo Kramer: The Assman, for real

2006-11-20T07:39:00.000-08:00

Michael Richards, aka Kosmo Kramer must be hitting hard times, because recently he went into a really nasty racist tirade. Makes you wonder why Kramer never hung out with anyone but Jerry and George.

Well, here's the link of the latest Hollyweird disgrace. For those of you who came to demand a Mel Gibson lynching, Kramer is now the latest whipping boy. And his rant, well, it makes old apologetic Mel look tame.

http://www.tmz.com/2006/11/20/kramers-racist-tirade-caught-on-tape/

Kosmo Kramer, Assman, indeed.

Casino Royale

2006-11-19T19:20:00.000-08:00

OK, I had to go on opening weekend to see 007. Casino Royale is typical of most Bond films, BUT this one promises more grit and intensity in areas. Daniel Craig does a good job as 007. He rarely cracks a grin. There were times when Bond was with a lady and he grinned. Hey, if I was with Eva Green, aka Vesper Lynd character, I'd be all smiles too. However, Craig brings us back to the first Connery outings, where while he is dapper, he was serious and intense. Also, he was NOT AFRAID to fight. And in this film, Bond bleeds, and is tortured, but he lives. I don't wanna say too much more, except that Casino Royale was a worthy intro for Daniel Craig. There's action, there's some romance, and some tragedy. We get to discover all kinds of things:

When 007 made his first kill and how it went.

Why M and 007 are forever butting heads and M has to put her foot down. Judi Dench is back as M and does a great job as the longsuffering MI6 Director.

Why 007 is close to some women, but decides to keep some at arm's length.

Why and when 007 became more callous/hardened to using violence and seeing death.

When 007 ordered his first vodka martini, as far as the novels go, this was the beginning.

And how 007 got good at gambling, in this case Texas Hold Em, to keep with the recent times.

And 007 and his love hate relationship with autos. Loves some, destroys others, and even destroys vehicles he really liked.

The film earned its PG-13, and was borderline R for a few intense moments of violence. The sex, is implied. Innuendo is there, duh, it's Bond. But this time we see when Bond was truly behaving like a kid with a school boy crush. Then he learned the school of hard knocks.

Casino Royale is good. Although, don't expect Q Branch and off the wall gadgets. Nor do we expect Moneypenny and the usual Bond advances on her. Actually, that's good for this film, as we focus solely on 007 and his second career mission to stop terrorists and fundraising. Casino is intense as Bond does not go through the film, tux or suit intact. Nope, he gets injured or roughed up, his wardrobe shows it. We see where 007 meets and forms a professional relationship with CIA Agent Felix Leiter, played by Jeffrey Wright.

CR may have come in a close 2nd, in the US, to Happy Feet, but it was close. Casino Royale is worth the money for a weekend of intense action and the good old days of 007.

Enjoy.

Pelosi wins then loses

2006-11-16T10:44:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well. Nancy Pelosi was elected uninanimously by the Dems as Speaker of the House.

However, her pick for Majority Leader, Jack Murtha, loooooost. 149-86.

Awwww. Back start eh Pelosi?

December 7, 20008?

2006-11-14T20:28:00.000-08:00

Link: http://www.therant.us/staff/kraft/10242006.htm

Scary crap, unless you want it to happen.....

HAT TIP: Misha over at The Rott.... aka Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler.

And if you wanna bitch? Go bitch to Misha, or the columnist, and yes even me, we'll welcome your criticism..... NOT.

December 7, 2008
Terrorism Raymond S. Kraft
October 24, 2006

December 7, 2008, began inauspiciously.

At 0753 at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii, the attack that had triggered America's entry into World War II, sixty-seven years before, was ceremoniously commemorated, an honor guard, taps, a 21-gun salute, the bugle's notes and the rifles' crack drifting across the bay to the USS Arizona memorial, where Admiral Arthur Peterson, USN Ret., laid a wreath in memory of the sailors sleeping below, one of whom was his own grandfather.

On the West coast it was 1053, and in Washington D.C. it was one fifty-three in the afternoon, 1353 military time.

In 2006 America, tired of War in Iraq, had elected Democrats to modest majorities in both houses of Congress. Representative Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the House, third in line for the presidency. In the spring of 2007, on a narrow, party-line vote, Congress, led by Senators John Kerry and Ted Kennedy and Barbara Boxer refused to authorize spending to continue the war in Iraq, and set September 30, 2007, as the deadline for complete withdrawal of American troops.

President Bush spoke to the country, to the American forces in Iraq, to those who had been there, and to the Iraqi people, to apologize for the short-sightedness and irresponsibility of the American congress and the tragedy he believed would follow after leaving task of nurturing a representative and stable government in Iraq half done, his voice choked, tears running down his stoic face, a betrayal of emotion for which he was resoundingly criticized and denounced in much of America's media.

The level of violence across Iraq immediately subsided, as the Americans began preparations to redeploy back to the States. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad praised the new Congress for its clear vision and sound judgment. America's Democrats rejoiced and congratulated themselves for bringing peace with honor and ending the illegal war based on lies that George Bush had begun only to enrich his friends in the military-industrial complex, and promised to retake the Presidency in 2008.

"The failure of many Americans, including many of the leading Democrats in Congress, and some Republicans, to fully appreciate the persistent, long-term threat posed to America's liberties and survival, and to the future of Liberal Democracies everywhere, by an Islamic Resistance Movement that envisions a world dominated and defined by an Islamic Caliphate of religious totalitarianism, and which will fight any war, make any sacrifice, suffer any hardship, and pay any price to achieve it, may prove to be the kind of blunder upon which the fate of America turns, and falls."

At 1000 on September 30, 2007, precisely on schedule, the last C-5A Galaxy carrying the last company of American combat troops in Iraq had roared down the Baghdad runway and lifted into the air. Only a few hundred American technical and military advisers and political liaisons remained in-country.

The Galaxy's wheels had scarcely retracted when Iraq erupted in the real civil war many had feared and foreseen, and which many others had predicted would not happen if only the American imperialists left Iraq. Sunni militias, Shia militias, and Al Qaeda militias ravaged and savaged the country, killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqis known or suspected to have collaborated with the Americans, killing Shias for being Shias, Sunnis for being Sunnis, Americans for being Americans, and anyone else who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

By noon, not one of the American advisers and liaisons left behind remained alive. Many had been beheaded as they screamed. Most of their bodies were dumped in the river and never seen again. In the next thirty days more than a million Iraqis died. The General Assembly of the United Nations voted to condemn the violence, and recessed for lunch and martinis. In America, there was no political will to redeploy back to Iraq. And after a few months of rabid bloodletting, the situation in Iraq calmed to a tense simmer of sporadic violence and political jockeying, punctuated by the occasional assassination, while several million refugees fled the country. Only Kurdistan, in the north, which had thrown up a line of its Peshmurga fighters to keep the southern violence away, remained stable and at relative peace.

In the spring of 2008 America began its quadrennial circus of a national election, and in November elected a Democrat, the Junior Senator from New York, Hillary Rodham Clinton, as it next president, to the surprise of few. Her running mate, to the surprise of many, was San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, whose intelligence, charisma, and reputation as an indefatigable campaigner for gay marriage and the homeless of San Francisco helped solidify Clinton's support among liberal Democrats who only grudgingly forgave her for not openly opposing the Iraq war sooner, and the Clinton-Newsom ticket went to the top with a narrow 50.2% lead over Republican John McCain's 49.8% of the popular vote, despite, or perhaps because of, Clinton's and Newsom's lack of foreign policy and military experience.

America, or a slim voting majority of it, felt it had had all the war it ever wanted to see, and Hillary had led her party to a glorious (if narrow) victory with the unambiguous slogan: "Clinton & Newsom: No More War." Crowds at every whistle stop had cheered and chanted, No more war! No more war! No more war! At victory parties George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleezza Rice were hung and sometimes burned in effigy, enthusiastic crowds chanted "No more war!" many times more, and local bands cranked up the theme from the first Clinton electoral victory, "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow . . . yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone . . .," and indeed, it was.

President Bush had been a very lame duck since the 2006 election, and with a Democratic Congress could do little but veto most of the bills it sent him. The Democrats couldn't override his vetoes, so for nearly two years almost nothing important had been accomplished by anyone on the Hill or in the White House. After the 2008 election it was transition time, flocks and herds of thoroughly demoralized Republican staff began leaving Washington in search of greener pastures, Congress adjourned for the Holidays, Democrats came house hunting, and Clinton and Newsom began the briefings they would get from a fully cooperative Bush administration on the state of the nation and the state of the world they would inherit and have to cope with for the next four years, or eight, and in those last weeks of November both Hillary and Gavin seemed to age rather quickly. The exhilaration of the campaign was over, and the weight of a tumultuous world began to settle on their shoulders.

Back in early October, 2006, North Korean President (for life) Kim Jong Il had announced the detonation of a nuclear bomb deep in a tunnel in the stony mountains of North Korea. The seismic signature had been small, and American intelligence at first doubted whether it had been a nuclear explosion at all. Traces of radioactive emissions were detected a few days later, and the intelligence estimate revised to conclude that it had been a failed test that produced perhaps only 10% or less of the expected yield, only 0.5 to 1.5 kilotons, not the 20 kilotons, at least, that Western intelligence had anticipated.

Kim Jong Il gloated. The deception had worked. The Americans were thinking in terms of long range intercontinental ballistic missiles with huge warheads that they could shoot out of the sky with their sophisticated billion-dollar anti-missile defense systems. He was thinking in terms of small warheads carried by small, medium range cruise missiles that could be launched from many places, and infiltrated close enough to slip in under the radar and hit America's coastal cities.

On the evening of December 6, 2008, a junior analyst in the National Security Agency was going over routine satellite photo production of ship movements in the Atlantic and Pacific within a thousand miles of the US coasts. Late in the shift he thought he saw something through a haze of fatigue and caffeine, and called a supervisor over to talk.

"Look," he said, photos up on several computer screens, more printed out and spread across his desk, "See? These boats, not big ships, fishing boats, yachts, they've been moving in along shipping lanes for several days, across from the South Pacific toward the West coast, up from the South Atlantic toward the east. Nothing very unusual, they're all small and slow, and scattered up and down the oceans, it seems, but if you look at the times and courses . . ." and he pulled out a chart he had plotted, "They're approaching so they will all arrive at about the same time, or all be about the same distance off the coast at about the same time . . ," he trailed off.

The supervisor looked a bit quizzical. "Coincidence? Probably. You need more sleep. Too much fun in the night, eh? Let me know if you see something we can do something with." And walked away.

At 0723 Hawaii time on the 67th Anniversary of the Pearl Harbor attack three old fishing trawlers, about 100 miles apart, and each about 300 miles off the east coast, launched six small cruise missiles from launch tubes that could be dismantled and stored in the holds under ice, or fish, and set up in less than an hour. The missiles were launched at precisely one minute intervals. As soon as each boat had launched its pair, the skeleton crew began to abandon ship into a fast rubber inflatable. The captain was last off, and just before going overboard started the timer on the scuttling charges. Fifteen minutes later and ten miles away, each crew was going up the nets into a small freighter or tanker of Moroccan or Liberian registry, where each man was issued new identification as ship's crew. The rubber inflatables were shot and sunk, and just about then charges in the bilges of each of the three trawlers blew the hulls out, and they sank with no one on board and no distress signals in less than two minutes.

The missiles had been built in a joint operation by North Korea and Iran, and tested in Iran, so they would not have to overfly any other country. The small nuclear warheads had only been tested deep underground. The GPS guidance and detonating systems had worked perfectly, after a few corrections. They flew fifty feet above sea level, and 500 feet above ground level on the last leg of the trip, using computers and terrain data modified from open market technology and flight directors, autopilots, adapted from commercial aviation units. They would adjust speed to arrive on target at specific times and altitudes, and detonate upon reaching the programmed GPS coordinates. They were not as adaptable and intelligent as American cruise missiles, but they did not need to be. Not for this mission.

They were small, less than twenty feet long, and only 18 inches in diameter, powered by small, quiet, fuel-efficient, high-bypass turbofans, and painted in a mottled light blue and light gray ghost camouflage. Cruising at 600 knots, just below the speed of sound, they were nearly impossible to see or hear. They came in under the radar until they reached the coast. After that they were lost in the ground clutter. Nobody saw it coming.

At precisely 0753, Hawaii time, 1353 in the District of Columbia, sixty-seven years to the minute after the Pearl Harbor attack began, the first of six missiles to hit the Washington area exploded in a huge white burst of nuclear fire just 500 feet above the White House, which disappeared in a mist of powdered plaster and stone, concrete and steel. President Bush and President-Elect Clinton had been meeting with Condoleezza Rice and Mrs. Clinton's national security adviser, reviewing the latest National Security Estimate, when they instantaneously turned into a plasma of the atomic elements that had once been human beings. No trace remained.

Alarms immediately began going off all over Washington, and precisely one minute later the second missile exploded just as it struck the Capital dome, instantly turning thousands of tons of granite that had one moment before been the nation's center of government into thousands of tons of granite shrapnel that shredded several square miles of Washington like a leviathan Claymore mine. At precisely one minute intervals, four more 3 kiloton nuclear weapons exploded at an altitude of 500 feet AGL above the Pentagon, the CIA headquarters, the NSA headquarters, the FBI headquarters, all of which were fully staffed in the middle of the day. In five minutes, the government of the United States of America was decapitated, and a quarter million of the people who made the place run were dead, or dying, or had simply disappeared.

Also at 1353 Eastern time, a missile had blown off just above the New York Stock Exchange, in New York City, and thousands of years of collective financial knowledge and experience evaporated in the nuclear flame. In one minute intervals, others had hit the financial centers of Boston and Baltimore, and the Naval base at Norfolk, Virginia.

Simultaneously, within the same 10-minute window of hell, nuclear tipped cruise missiles devastated the largest intermodel shipping facility on the West coast at San Pedro harbor, exploded just above the Library Tower in central Los Angeles, and short circuited the computer technology ghetto of Silicon Valley in Santa Clara County, big time. One exploded ten feet away from the top of the Bank of America Building in San Francisco and set much of the east slope of the city ablaze. Another giant fireball flared among the phalanx of office towers along the Capitol Mall in Sacramento, instantly obliterating Arnold Schwarzenegger and the state government of California, the largest state economy in the US, the seventh largest economy in the world. Two ripped open the heart of Portland, Oregon, one shattered the financial district of Seattle, and the last one turned the Microsoft campus into a pillar of fire and smoke, wiping from the face of history, in a second, the IT giant that had revolutionized global communications.

It was 0803, Hawaii time. Ten minutes.

Three million Americans dead. And not a trace of the assault fleet remained on the surface of any ocean.

Vice-President Elect Gavin Newsom was in his bedroom at home in Pacific Heights, his window overlooking the Golden Gate and the Marin bluffs. He thought he heard an oddly loud crack of thunder and saw a flash reflected on the hills across the inlet, but it was a clear day and nothing else seemed out of place. He continued packing for the return trip to Washington, his second since the election, to continue his transition briefings and begin organizing his staff. His nomination as Hillary's running mate had come as a huge surprise, and he was elated.

Someone rapped on the door, loudly, twice, and without waiting for a reply the senior Secret Service officer on his detail opened it and stepped quickly in. "Come with me, now," he said. Gavin was startled. "I need to finish packing," he replied.

"No time, sir. Something has happened. Very big. I fear. No details yet. We have to get you out of here, NOW! RIGHT NOW! GO! GO! GO!" He grabbed Newsom's arm, swung him around, and pushed him out the door, where two other Secret Service agents flanked him down the stairs and out to a running black Suburban waiting in the garage. They pushed him into the back seat, jumped in, and the driver gunned the engine, out the drive, down the street, tires squealing. Nobody spoke until they were headed over the Bridge, northbound at seventy-five miles an hour, weaving through the traffic which wasn't yet the gridlock it would soon become.

"What the hell's going on?" he finally demanded.

"Okay. This is what I know," the officer said. "The US has apparently sustained multiple nuclear attacks in the last fifteen minutes, including Washington D.C. and San Francisco. Financial district. We're not sure how many, at least ten, maybe twenty. Lots of dead. Got the White House, the Capital, the Pentagon. Our job is to get you on an airplane at the nearest functioning airport, that'll be Novato, and get you to a safe place. Prestissimo."

"Where?" Newsom asked. Things were moving way too fast now.

"Don't know yet. We'll get orders."

The Air Force Learjet had been airborne for two minutes when a cell phone buzzed, and the Secret Service captain answered it and handed it off to the Vice President Elect. "It's Mr. Cheney, sir," he said.

"Gavin?" Dick Cheney asked. "Yes, sir," Newsom replied, subdued, for the events of the last hour had sobered up his elated mood considerably.

"Okay, Gavin. I don't know what you know, so I'll tell you what I can. There have been approximately 20 nuclear strikes on government and financial targets in the US, about an hour ago. No real damage estimate yet, except that it's awful. A hundred times 9/11, maybe a thousand times. I happened to be at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, and have moved into Cheyenne Mountain to set up a temporary HQ, until we get things sorted out. As you know Cheyenne was vacated by NORAD a few years ago, so we have plenty of space. You will be flown here, nonstop."

"I know you haven't a lot of national and international experience." Cheney had thought of saying that Newsom had none, but Newsom would be too painfully aware of that. He didn't need reminding. "The President is missing and presumed dead. So is Mrs. Clinton. So you may become the next president, in about six weeks. I don't know. he Constitution says the Vice President succeeds a president who is dead or disabled, but it doesn't say what happens if the President Elect dies before being inaugurated. I suppose the Court will have to answer that, if we can cobble one together by then. In the meantime, I will assume you will be inaugurated. You'll have a steep learning curve, a real steep curve. All presidents do, under the best of circumstances, and these are not the best of circumstances."

The next day a hard winter storm roared down the West coast from Alaska, pelting rescue workers in bombed out city centers with hard, cold rain, that did not let up for a week. People alive but injured or trapped in the wreckage died of hypothermia before they were found. Two days later, a cold front out of Canada brought heavy snow to the Northeast. Millions were already without electricity, and in a week of subzero weather hundreds of thousands more died. More than four million, altogether. More than one of every one hundred Americans.

Al Qaeda had picked December 7 because it was the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, and because, just before Christmas, the Infidel holiday, it would destroy the Christmas shopping season so important to so many retailers, driving another nail into the national economy of the Great Satan. And it would destroy the festive spirit of the season for millions of Americans, perhaps for all. The perfect psyop. Psychological warfare. And the weather forecasters had predicted severe winter storms on both coasts during the week immediately after disaster.

Al Qaeda leaders had calculated, correctly, that by turning up the violence in Iraq during the weeks before the 2006 election it could achieve an anti-war Democratic Congress that would vote to end America's wars in the Middle East, and then by turning down the violence in Iraq after the election of an anti-war Democratic Congress, it could lull America into a false sense of safety and security in anticipation of the "peace in our time" that America's new ruling party had promised would follow from what Al Qaeda perceived, correctly, as America's retreat before the unstoppable determination of the Islamic Resistance Movement, the Jihad. America did not call it that, of course. The Americans thought they were just ending a bad and illegal war ginned up by George W. Bush to depose Saddam Hussein who had proven not to have WMDs after all, the ones the Americans had never found, the ones buried in Syria. Al Qaeda saw more clearly. It was a capitulation, a de facto surrender of the Middle East to the coming Islamic Caliphate that would someday rule the world. The martyrs of Islam had beaten the Great Satan to its knees. In time they would cut off its head.

By Christmas, the American economy had imploded. Inflation soared, unemployment soared, businesses closed, cities that had suffered direct hits became ghost towns. Tax revenues evaporated, leaving state governments without funds to pay unemployment benefits or teachers' salaries. With the New York Stock Exchange gone, stock trading ended, and values plummeted. Retirement assets and pension funds disappeared in a wink. Nobody knew what to expect. Real estate crashed, and major banks filed for bankruptcy. With the collapse of the American economy, the largest on earth, the most productive country on earth, with just 5% of the global population producing one third of the global economic output, the rest of the global economy fell into chaos. Oil shipments stopped, food shipments stopped, and in that winter millions of people in third world countries starved to death.

The America era was over.

"In the spring of 1941, Nazi Germany was poised to dominate the earth. France, the low countries, Norway, Denmark, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Greece, and much of Poland had been overrun by the Germans. All of Europe, save neutral Sweden and Switzerland, was in the hands of Hitler's friends and allies: dictators or monarchs who ruled fascist Italy, Vichy France, Franco's Spain, Portugal, the Balkan countries, Finland, and above all the Soviet Union."

"A single German division under General Erwin Rommel, sent to rescue beleaguered Italians in Libya, drove Britain's Middle Eastern armies flying and threatened the Suez lifeline; while in Iraq a coup d'etat by the pro-German Rashid Ali cut the land road to India. In Asia, Germany's ally, Japan, was coiled to strike, ready to take Southeast Asia and invade India. No need to involve the United States; by seizing the Indies, Japan could break the American embargo and obtain all the oil needed for the Axis Powers to pursue their war aims.

"Hitler should have sent the bulk of his armies to serve under Rommel, who would have done what Alexander did and Bonaparte failed to do: He would have taken the Middle East and led his armies to India. There he would have linked up with the Japanese. Europe, Asia, and Africa, would have belonged to the coalition of dictators and militarists."

"The Nazi-Soviet-Japanese alliance commanded armed forces and resources that utterly dwarfed the military resources that the holdouts, Britain (with its empire), and the United States, could field. The English-speaking countries would have been isolated in a hostile world and would have had no realistic option but to make their peace with the enemy, retaining some autonomy for a time, perhaps, but doomed ultimately to succumb. Nazi Germany, as leader of the coalition, would have ruled the world."

"Only Hitler's astonishing blunder in betraying and invading his Soviet ally kept it from happening." - David Frompkin, Professor of International Relations and History, Boston University, writing in What If: Eminent Historians Imagine What Might Have Been (Putnam 1999) pp. 308, 309.

History is made, wars are won and lost, cultures and nations and civilizations come and go, rise and fall, as much by blunders as by victories.

"The failure of many Americans, including many of the leading Democrats in Congress, and some Republicans, to fully appreciate the persistent, long-term threat posed to America's liberties and survival, and to the future of Liberal Democracies everywhere, by an Islamic Resistance Movement that envisions a world dominated and defined by an Islamic Caliphate of religious totalitarianism, and which will fight any war, make any sacrifice, suffer any hardship, and pay any price to achieve it, may prove to be the kind of blunder upon which the fate of America turns, and falls."

Raymond S. Kraft is an attorney and writer in northern California.

End Life Unworthy of Living, says Anglican Bishop

2006-11-14T07:36:00.000-08:00

Well, now we've seen full circle. It appears that the Nazis weren't all killed off, they just took over the Church of England and advocate killing crippled and deformed babies straight off.....

Read it and weep.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=416003&in_page_id=1770

There's much much more.

Doctors pushed this measure, advocating death. Nice to know Joseph Mengele had some bastards to carry on his fine work.

England is in the abyss, they're done for.

True Colors

2006-11-13T12:58:00.000-08:00

OK, lemme digress from the news for a while and review a decent above average movie I bought for $5 at Wal Mart. It's called True Colors, made back in 1991.

The film begins with Senator Peter Burton (John Cusack) running in a nasty Connecticutt Congressional Race. Burton is on the edge of his seat and his buddy and campaign manager, Tim Gerrity (James Spader) is watching a wall clock nervously. Why is he doing that?

Wind back about 10 years. Peter and Tim meet by accident at law school, both back into eachother and Peter about picks a fight with Tim. They talk and Peter does it to focus attention off himself to the other guy, but later admitted fault. Nice lawyer traits, eh? We learn Tim, from a well-off New England Family, is going out with Diana Stiles, daughter of a Senator Stiles (old Brahman of politicians and bureaucrats Richard Widmark) and Tim invites Pete up for New Years Eve. Pete talks about Xmas in London, etc. Peter is later found out to be ashamed of being very very blue collar. However, Tim writes that off, and is still his friend. For now.

The two work in DC, interns. Tim as Department of Justice. Peter with Senator Stiles. Coincidental eh? Tim likes his internship, and wants to go back to law school so he can be a DOJ prosecutor. Peter LOVES his Senate job and wants to drop law school and be part of the K Street feeding frenzy. Pete and Tim go to dinner, see a Senator Steubens who votes against Stiles measures, with someone who isn't his wife, and young enough to be that Senator's grand daughter.... Dirty old guys, DC, younger available women, no frickin way! Peter finds Steubens car, slashes the tire, and then his own. He's then 'helping Steubens' with a spare tire, and sees Senator S with the girl. Tim sees every last bit of this, shocked, but no longer suprised at Peter's behavior. The Senator is embarassed and recognizes Peter as Stiles staff member. The Senator, not wanting to risk bad press or gossip, decides to vote on a measure he'd been blocking Stiles on for months. Tim hears this, and goes his separate ways. Tim to DOJ which makes Diana leave him(she'd be living off cop pay), and Peter up the Stiles staff ladder, and into Diana's bedroom.

Pete and Tim ski, Pete is injured after confessing his affair to Tim who almost lets him ski off a cliff to certain death. Pete and Diana marry. Tim and Pete are on the mends, but Peter is helping a lobbyist and very crooked developer (Mandy Patinkin) up in Connecticutt. The developer drops a competitor's name as being crooked in a federal deal. Pete tells Tim, Tim seeks indictments, but the company is NOT guilty. They lose the contract and developer's company WINS contract. Tim finds out Pete used him and he's upset. Tim was also suspended from DOJ and he now wants his pound of flesh. First, his fiancee, then his friendship, and now his job. That tears it, Tim 'volunteers' as Peter's new staff helper.

Pete wants to run for Congress. Father in law disapproves. Pete knows Stiles Sr. has Alzheimers and could go public. Stiles endorses Peter, begrudgingly, but tells Diana, who is now revolted with her busband. Tim, now campaign manager is also revolted by all of this. Peter is campaigning, is upset at the slums. Promises to be tough. He finds out Patinkin runs the slums and gets quiet.

Election Night, Tim is with Peter who is about to win the Congressional Seat. He wins, by a narrow margin. Pete and Tim hug. Diana wishes Peter good luck in DC, but is divorcing Peter. Apparently blood is thicker than bling at this time. Tim lets her know, so she can leave before the FBI arrests Peter for his helping the crooked developer. Peter gives his speech, half-heartedly confesses his sins, but then says he is being framed and will fight for his seat.

We go forward a year or so. Peter and Tim meet in DC. Tim is still in DOJ. Peter is now a private citizen, and was given immunity for testifying against Patinkin. The two exchange a smile or two. No happy ending, no nice resolution.

Thus like life.....

Good film, I recommend it. It's not Mr. Smith Goes to Washington nor is it The Contender but it's good. Another good once, Advise and Consent.

Political films, some are worth a watch.

Pledge Banned for Campus by Students?

2006-11-10T15:05:00.000-08:00

Oh check this out, I'm sure the veterans love the fact they bled for this country to have some little Che Guevera Demon Seeds defecate all over it....

Take you BP pills before you read this....

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=domesticNews&storyid=2006-11-10T021338Z_01_N09494500_RTRUKOC_0_US-LIFE-PLEDGE.xml&src=rss&rpc=22

And get this little Trotskyite.....

"That ('under God') part is sort of offensive to me," student trustee Jason Bell, who proposed the ban, told Reuters. "I am an atheist and a socialist, and if you know your history, you know that 'under God' was inserted during the McCarthy era and was directly designed to destroy my ideology."

Bell said the ban largely came about because the trustees didn't want to publicly vow loyalty to the American government before their meetings. "Loyalty ought to be something the government earns through performance, not through reciting a pledge," he said.

Is anyone picking up on the fact that Jason here, other than being a selfish little putz, is a pompous one at that? I mean, he declares his beliefs more important than the majority of his campus or the country. Freedom of speech? Only if it agrees with Joe Stalin's little talking points. An atheist and socialist and he doesn't like it here.

Well, do what my grandad says, 'If you don't like it, move to Russia.' Seriously, Jason, move, leave the US. You and your kind are poison. And despite you last part being somewhat correct that the government must earn trust, the country and pledge are for more than the country, you little wank. Also, subverting the pledge doesn't work as many more will still do it.

Your godless brand of socialism worked so well in Russia, it only killed 50 million plus people. China, just as many if not more. The Killing Fields of Cambodia, just 30% of that country. Funny thing, socialism and communism are falling. God still remains. Odd how that works, Jason.

Twerp.

Yes vets, you fought and bled even for this chode.

Good luck America.

Veterans Day is Tomorrow

2006-11-10T13:46:00.000-08:00

OK, tomorrow is November 11, 2006, Veterans' Day. The day started to remember our troops who served and died in combat. It coincided with the Armistice of WWI, signed at Compeigne. It started back in the 1920s, the holiday, shortly before the worst war ever.....

So, if you see a vet, thank em. Bye em a drink or lunch, but let em know their service is appreciated no matter how long ago or how recent.....

Later!

IN CASE YOU FORGOT....

2006-11-08T04:45:00.000-08:00

In case you forgot, those who did not vote, or those who are hungover with victory (it's 2 years til next election) there is still a war on Terror going on.

And yes, you who want to make peace with Hamas, read this.....

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,228086,00.html

Hamas urges Muslims around world to wage war on U.S. ........

What does the new Congress intend to do about this?

ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, VOTE....

2006-11-07T10:29:00.000-08:00

OK, if you haven't done early or absentee ballot voting, vote today.

You snooze, you may lose.

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Good luck America......

STUK N IRAK

2006-11-01T12:04:00.000-08:00

Durh, I think Pumpkinhead was right..... Lez give em a 21 gun salut to da FACE!

http://www.drudgereport.com/irak.jpg

KERRY'S OKTOBER SURPIZE

2006-11-01T05:53:00.000-08:00

Alright, let's get a few things straight. First, Kerry owes all of our troops, former troops, and all their families an apology...... Here is why.....

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”

OK, where in that sentence is Bush mentioned? Where is the Administration mentioned. Anyone with half a brain could read that as, if you get good grades or cheat hard enough, you can get to college. If not, you go to Iraq for being trailer trash or too stupid not to go to Harvard like John Flip Flop did. Also, interestingly, he's had a history of bashing the troops. In 1971, he said 'they committed atrocities in a manner like Genghis Khan,' and in 2005 'our troops have no business going to Iraqi homes and terrorizing men women and children searching for insurgents......' and so on...... Where is Bush mentioned there?????

Nowhere. He trashed the troops. Now, to answer the uneducated remark read this.....

Kerry’s troop-bashing remarks belie the truth about the educational level of U.S. troops. According to figures readily available on the Internet, 99.9 percent of the enlisted forces have at least a high school education, 73.3 percent have some college, 16.2 percent have an associate’s degree or equivalent semester hours, and 4.7 have a bachelor’s degree.
What’s more, over 85 percent of field grade officers have advanced degrees – 70.7 percent have master’s degrees, 12.1 percent have professional degrees and 2.5 percent have doctorate degrees.

That's pretty good for a bunch of trailer trash and tenament dwellers, eh? Right? Come on Kerry, are you at a loss for words for once?

Here's his version of an apology......

"I apologize to no one for my criticism of the president and his broken policy," Kerry told reporters in a press conference in Seattle. "My statement yesterday, and the White House knows this full-well, was a botched joke about the president and the president's people and not about the troops."

"If anyone thinks that a veteran, someone like me, who's been fighting my entire career to provide for veterans, to fight for their benefits, to help honor what their service is, if anybody thinks that a veteran would somehow criticize more than 140,000 troops serving in Iraq and not the president and his people who put them there, they're crazy,"

Veteran? There he goes with his Purple Hearts allusion, again. Tennis elbow and a skinned knee don't count, Pumpkinhead. Also, someone who voted against our troops in Iraq, the $87 billion, and back in the 1980s voted against everything from Titan Missiles, Stealth Bombers, tanks, all the way down to uniforms and toilet paper is in no position to say what a vets batter he is........

Kerry proves himself to be a liability to the US and our troops. And the stupid remark may cost a few lives. I suggest any families who lose troops since the terrorists may think they're stupid, and uneducated, ought to charge Kerry for any medical or funeral costs.

I'd think everyone is going to say, thanks for the October Suprise, oddly it's a DNC gaffe, not a GOP one. However, slamming the troops this close to Veterans Day is sickening. Anyone who thought Kerry should have been President, ought to read this moron's past speeches and know he is not a trooper supporter, rather a back stabber. Kerry claims to be red white and blue, but he's more just a red than anything.

Kerry's quip may have cost the election for some, but he may also be costing lives...... aid and comfort to the enemy, like his pals Ted Kennedy, Jane Fonda, Tom Hayden and the other 60's rejects.

Supporting the Troops DNC Style

2006-10-31T12:14:00.000-08:00

Supporting the troops. One hand patting their backs, the other getting the dagger aimed at their backs. And Senator Kerry prides himself a war hero, frickin please.......

Yeah, every US soldier is an ill-educated rube, he claims..... except himself.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLuMWiQ6r2o

SMACKDOWN CHENEY STYLE, AND IT'S NOT DICK FOR A CHANGE.....

2006-10-27T16:23:00.000-07:00

LYNN CHENEY IN CNN SITDOWN, SLAPDOWN: DO YOU WANT AMERICA TO WIN?Fri Oct 27 2006 18:29:49 ETLynne Cheney, wife of Vice President Dick Cheney, took on CNN Friday evening during an interview with anchorman Wolf Blitzer.Transcript:

CHENEY: You made a point last night of a man who had a bookstore in London where radical islamists gathered. Who was in Afghanistan when the Taliban were there. Who went to Pakistan. You know, I think that you might be a little careful before you declare this as a person with clean hands.
WOLF: You are receiving to the CNN "Broken Government" special. This is the one John King reported on last night.
CHENEY: Right there, Wolf. 'Broken Government.' What kind of stance is that? Here we are. We are a country where we have been mightily challenged over the past six years. We've been through 9/11, we've been through Katrina. The president and the vice president inherited a recession. We are in a country where the economy is healthy. That's not broken. This government has acted very well. We have tax cuts responsible for the healthy economy. We are a country that was attacked five years ago. We haven't been attacked since. What this government has done is effective. That's not broken government. So, you know, I shouldn't let media bias surprise me, but I worked at CNN once. I watched a program last night. WOLF: You worked on CROSSFIRE.
CHENEY: ...And i was troubled.
WOLF: All right. Well that was probably the purpose, to get people to think. To get people to discuss these issues. Because --
CHENEY: Well, all right. Wolf, I'm here to talk about my book. But if you want to talk about distortion --
WOLF: We'll talk about your book.
CHENEY: Right, but what is CNN doing? Running terrorist tape of terrorists shooting Americans. I mean, I thought [Rep.] Duncan Hunter asked you a very good question, and you didn't answer it. Do you want us to win? WOLF: The answer of course is we want the United States to win. We are Americans. There's no doubt about that.
CHENEY: Then why are you running terrorist propaganda?
WOLF: Well all do respect, this is not terrorist propaganda.
CHENEY: Oh, wolf.
WOLF: This is reporting the news. Which is what we do, we are not partisan.
CHENEY: Where did you get the film?
WOLF: We got the film, look, this is an issue that has been widely discussed. This is an issue we reported on extensively. We make no apologies for showing that. That was a very carefully-considered decision why we did that. And I think, I think --
CHENEY: Well I think it's shocking.
WOLF: If you are a serious journalist, you want to report the news. Sometimes the news is good, sometimes the news isn't so good.

CHENEY: But wolf, there's a difference between news and terrorist propaganda. Cheney also took on Virginia senate challenger Jim Webb.

JIM WEBB: There's nothing that's been in in of my novels that in my view, hasn't been either illuminating surroundings are defining a character or moving a plot. I'm a serious writer. I mean, we can go and read Lynne Cheney's lesbian love scenes if you want to get graphic on stuff.
CHENEY: Jim Webb is full of baloney. I have never written anything sexually explicit. His novels are full of, um, sexual explicit reference to sex. Sexually explicit references to, well, I don't want my grandchildren to turn on the television set. This morning Imus was reading from the novels. And it's triple X-rated.END

24 Trailer and Updates

2006-10-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.24trailer.com/

Or try here....

http://www.fox.com/24/

And for you die-hard 24 freaks, like mois.....

http://www.movieweb.com/tv/news/55/14555.php

http://www.24.tvheaven.com/

And yes...

BLOGS 4 BAUER

http://blogs4bauer.blogspot.com/

There's like 82 days and counting, can't wait.....

FOR A FRIEND AND HIS SAFETY

2006-10-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends!

Just wanted to let you know some news from Steve and ask for some prayer for him! Please read the note from him below. Have a wonderful Tuesday my friends!

Hope all is well in Houston! I need to ask for your prayers though, as I may be coming home sooner than expected. Since the rainy season is almost over, the rebel activity and attemps to overthrow the current government of Chad have escalated. The rebels have overtaken a key city between where I am and N'Djamena (the capitol -- which is the goal of the rebels), but still to the East. I found out today that ExxonMobil has began evacuations of the families of expat employees in N'Djamena, but no word yet on what we are going to do here in Kome. According to sources here, the rebels will be able to make it to N'Djamena in about 24 hours if they continue in route. I should have more information either tonight or tomorrow morning. Commence praying now!

You can read more about it at: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi /africa/6079772.stm

Thanks and God Bless,
-Steven

COUP D'ETAT COME NOVEMBER

2006-10-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

OK, this is a hypothetical, but let's tackle this. Pray a memo comes up to expose this before the election......

OK, here's how it will go down. Pelosi's Dummycraps will sweep to power.

Pelosi's claims of non-bitterness and being bipartisan will quickly fade. She'll go back to her cauldron brewing, broom-stick flying, black cat violating self..... Pelosi will not do it herself, she'll call out THE DOGS, and let Conyers, Rangell, Schumer, Biden, and Tubby Kennedy take a crack at Bush. They will force Bush to step down or impeach him over Iraq, or some piddly bullshit. Cheney is sworn in.

Cheney is the next target. He'll face indictments for Halliburton or the Plame shitstorm, or be prompted to a heart attack. They're not beneath this, period.

And when Cheney is incapacitated, probably killed, Pelosi gets sworn in under the 25th Amendment.

Think it's impossible? Make it impossible by fricking voting. If not, what will you do under her regime?

BEVO XIII DIES

2006-10-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

this is a sady day in new, Bevo XIII the beloved yet narcotic induced steer has gone to the great ranch in the sky.

Here's his obituary.....

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/gen/ap/TX_Obit_Bevo_XIII.html

In lieu of flowers, donations of ketchup, BBQ sauce, and buns will be accepted for Bevo's final dinner appearance. He will be guest of honor and the main course.

CAMPAIGN AD THAT WON'T BE USED

2006-10-10T12:56:00.000-07:00

OK, RINOs why don't you get some balls and use this ad?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7h3GPc_yMCE

Awww, is it too mean? Wanna take the high road?

Well, the Democrats aren't. They're blaming Bush for North Korea getting a nuke, even though Clinton and Albright signed over nuclear material and Michael Jordan basketball over to the Dimunitive Leader, aka The Short One, aka Kim Jong Il. Screw em, and if you lose for not using what it takes, you deserve to have lost.

Dammit where's a viable third party when you need one? nowhere. And thanks to the chumps of the Elephant Clan, we're gonna have Nancy Pelosi's shrill harpy bitch fest for a minimum of 2 frickin years.

Thanks a lot RINOS.

Media Ignores pro-Israel marchers infront of UN

2006-09-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

OK, the media glowered over Chavez and Ahmadenajad's antics at the UN. They had to have loved Chavez insulting the USA, on our native soil, by taking swipes at the President and any who support the man, even if not whole-heartedly. Ahamdenajad asks to be friends, but minutes later warns of wiping Israel off the earth. Both of these clowns got applause from MANY of the UN bobbleheads.

However, despite the pro-Chavez and pro-jihadist swine inside and gathering outside the UN, MANY MANY more protested their presence and support Israel's right to existence. This rally of Israel backers had over 35,000. And they're not all Jews or Zionists, for those of you leftwing Nazis out there. Governor Pataki was there, and he's Greek Orthodox. John Bolton, UN ambassador, probably a church goer. And yes, Jewish Holocaust Survivor and Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel protested Ahmadenajad's presence this week. Bravo to the these 35,000 who are probably just a small percentage of those who SUPPORT Israel.

None of the media covered this, except a brave few.

http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2006/9/21/173546.shtml?s=ic

Pope sorry you Muslims can't take criticism

2006-09-18T07:49:00.000-07:00

Pope was sorry for your reaction, not what he said.

Tell the difference between quotes and a speech, versus your own Jew baiting BS, please.

If not, screw off.

http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2006/9/17/93620.shtml?s=lh

Here, read some of Pope Benedict's 'apology.'

These [words] were in fact a quotation from a Medieval text which do not in any way express my personal thought," Benedict told pilgrims at his summer palace outside Rome.

The Pope sparked the controversy when, in a speech Tuesday to university professors during a pilgrimage to his native Germany, he cited the words of a Byzantine emperor who characterized some of the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, Islam's founder, as "evil and inhuman."

"At this time I wish also to add that I am deeply sorry for the reactions in some countries to a few passages of my address at the University of Regensburg, which were considered offensive to the sensibility of Muslims," the Pope said Sunday.

And the Muslim reaction? Not in line with forgiveness if you ask for forgiveness from those you offend.

Mahmoud Ashour, the former deputy of Cairo's Al-Azhar Mosque, the Sunni Arab world's most powerful institution, told Al-Arabiya TV immediately after the Pope's speech that, "It is not enough. He should apologize because he insulted the beliefs of Islam. He must apologize in a frank way and say he made a mistake."
Mohammed al-Nujeimi, a professor at the Institute of Judicial and Islamic Studies in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, also criticized the Pope's statement.
"The Pope does not want to apologize. He is evading apology and what he said today is a repetition of his previous statement," he told Al-Arabiya TV.

Guys, we're still waiting for YOUR APOLOGY to all those Jews you've killed in the past umpteen hundred years. Still waiting for your remorse over that nun's murder. Still waiting for you to be tolerant and not just say you are.

Don't make us go medieval on your ass. We can try the Crusades again, and this time we'd win.

POPE SPEECH DRAWS DEATH THREATS FROM 'PEACEFUL MUSLIMS'

2006-09-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

Here's a good example of tolerant Islam in London.

The mooselimb filth picket Westminister Catheadral as British worshippers go to Mass/Service on Sunday. Bet if non-Muslim brits picketed mosques you'd get more unfavorable media coveral.

http://catholiclondoner.blogspot.com/2006/09/very-rushed-post.html

Oh, and some evil nun got her just deserts, says the Religion of Peace......

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060917/wl_nm/somalia_italian_dc_3

These people are 7th Century Barbarians who have contributed nothing but numbers and coffee. Screw em. One of these days turn the other cheek, will turn to punch your face in. Just keep it up, mooselimbs.

Keep being civilized by......

Killing female rape victims, as honor killings, but never go after the male offender.
Ritual mutilation of the ladies private areas.
Firebombing churches and hacking parishners to death with swords and axes.
Killing your own less radical Muslims in Kirkuk with car bombs.
Demanding Israel be expunged from the face of the earth.
Demanding the Pope's head on a platter, over a speech quoting a historical perspective on the dangers of Islam.

You keep your civilization, so stop trying to ruin ours.

Bush Assassination Film draws ire

2006-09-12T05:30:00.000-07:00

Well, Kevin Costner, not known to back Bush on much, was none too happy about the "semi-documentary" Death Of a President. He considered it beyond poor taste. Read it and weep, liberals.

http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/costner%20blasts%20bush%20assassination%20film_1007949

Consider this, had someone made a movie of an attempt on President Clinton's life, some of you would be up in arms but not over Bush. Either everyone holds to the standard, or just toss it out altogether. I am sick of this.

Religion of Peace?

2006-09-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

This may be one site, but there are hundreds like it, and two news networks that can be inferred as purveyors of this filth (Al Arabyia, Al-Jazeerza).

Tell me you can negotiate with these kinds of things?

http://www.memrifilms.org/

WHERE WERE YOU ON 9/11?

2006-09-11T12:18:00.000-07:00

OK, all joking and sniping aside. I am kind of curious where you all were on September 11, 2001. Kind of how you felt and all that.

Myself?

I was at South Texas College of Law, in Downtown Houston on 9/11. Got in about 7:50 am, local time. The first plane hit and everyone wondered if it was a trailer to a bad Jerry Bruckheimer film, but when every network had it from the NBC Peacock to the Fox News box, it was known this was the real thing. We all thought it was some terrible accident that had to be mechanical, or horrible pilot/co-pilot error. Then 8:02 Central Time rolled around. Plane 2 hit the South Tower, and someone said 'This ain't no (expletive) accident. We're at war.' They got that right, but then the panic set in.

Rumors were swirling about planes hitting Chicago, LA, and some on the way to Houston, Dallas, Miami and other cities. We tried to remain calm. Never cursed, prayed, and cursed and prayed so much in my life. Then about 8:40 am, the Pentagon is on fire. Plane 3 hit its target. Then more rumors of the FBI Building here and in DC about to be hit, the State Department and a car bomb. Yeah, we were worried. Then, the word came that law school was done for the day and everyone get home, ASAP. And call a hotline tomorrow to see if we were shut down. So, myself and a few students took an SUV out of Downtown onto the I-10 HOV and to the 610 Bus Terminal, there a guy from Katy took us all back home. While leaving, we saw fire trucks and cop cars all over downtown. And the law school, well, it was next door to a federal court building or state appeals court. We left, but SUVs and Crown Vics swarmed it and a SWAT team disgorged. Well, we thought the world was gonna end.

We made it through the day, I guess, but it was frightening. Rumors were quelled, London was not nuked, DC was in one piece, etc. but no one was the same. Never will be, to be honest. Needless to say alot of us hit our knees in prayer of thanks, that we weren't hit, but also praying for the New York Fire, Police, Port Authority, federal office workers, and thousands who died that day. 9/11 was a frightening event. Not to be forgotten, nor should it be.

That was my day on 9/11, 5 years ago.

How about yours?